I know Im being unreasonable!! but WTF?!...

[PunnyOliveTurtle]

In the queue for the post office and a woman in front of me (take note we very squished up together) opened up her banking app. and my heart sank, she had 4 accounts...800ish, 2kish, 1kish and 10kish. I have one account with 178quid til pay day at the end of the month, and i need to buy food and pay a bill. I know i was unreasonable for looking, I looked away as soon as I could, but my heart died a little. I'll never have that kind of money. Such a different world we live in...

What do you mean?

OP I won't blame you for not going into more detail as some people are so nasty on here. But seriously if you posted your financial situation, I'd be surprised if you didn't get some helpful advice on how to make things better. You're only in your 40s and you're saying "this is it for me" - I want you to know that things can get better. You already have a secure tenancy and a job. This is a great place to start IMO.

Honestly OP I would have a lot more in mine than this lady, but I get your point. It's like a little kick in the gut when you see someone with something you want so desperately. And they seem to take it all for granted. When something is on your mind it seems like everyone else has it easier but it's just one thing.

Throughout my life I had that feeling so often, I really struggled with accepting my lot. i had an envious streak and didnt like that about myself. Almost all the things I was focused on were transient. A little summary of things that made my heart sink at various times.

• anyone who wasn't skint. Not helped by my flatmate winning the lottery
• anyone who didn't have massive thighs.
• everything about my better looking sister
• anyone who loved their study or job
• anyone who got promoted
• anyone who had a house that wasn't tiny
• anyone who was pregnant without fertility struggles
• anyone with a calm sleepy baby
• anyone with a NT child
• anyone whose parents lived to be grandparents
• any mothers who kept their careers

etc etc.

I'm sure there are many things in your life that you take for granted every day that someone else is gazing at in envy. Try to focus on those things if you can..then show me how!!

I've never earned a fortune, and have been self-employed for more than 20 years, but have saved considerably more. Unfortunately this month things have started to go very badly, so I'm glad to have something to fall back on without going into instant panic.

It feels like different worlds, but honestly that’s the same world: they are likely facing financial pressures as well. A minority of people on here will genuinely be part of a different world with hundreds of thousands if not more in investments, multiple properties etc.

If I open my banking app it shows 4 accounts and I’m sure I look pretty well off if you just glance at them without knowing the detail. Two of them are my teen kid’s savings accounts that their grandparents pay into monthly (nearly £2k in each), one is actually my pension (over £40k but I obviously don’t have access to this for spending) and one is about £500 which is my current account. I feel like I’m in an ok position, but someone checking out the balances over my shoulder would definitely get a false impression of what money I had available to spend!

Everyone’s circumstances are different and if I thought someone had plenty to spend I’d think good on them. But I definitely wouldn’t make any assumptions or let my “heart sink” because of it.

Maybe she just got paid/ made redundant/ sold a car/ borrowed some money …

there are so many possibilities that could give balances like this.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

This is why I have "hide balance" set on my bank app home screen. You have to click to see each balance. I have a good amount in one account but that's what I've been saving for a long time for a house deposit, I don't want someone seeing that and making all sorts of assumptions.

If you looked over my shoulder you'd see my normal account, my savings and a children's savings account for my son, so the multiple accounts seem normal to me and I'm guessing she was checking the balance of the 800 one, to see if she needed to move any money across. There may not always be as much as 800 in there at any given time and the savings are taking her years to build. I do understand it's a privilege to be able to save anything though.

Someone on 18k a year likely won’t have the luxury of buying these extras so it’s a moot point.

Same.

The amount of jobs you can get now that are fully WFH make this utter bollocks.

I’d not focus on her, focus on you. Can you put food on the table and turn the heating on? Are you healthy? If you have kids/ family are they healthy? If your financial situation is bad, think about what you can do to change them.

My finances look pretty good at the moment but it’s because a close relative has died and left me with a bit of money.

Yeah it reads like satire. Netflix subscription, good lord.

Why? Because I speak from personal experience?

Because your response was tone deaf, as the other poster pointed out. I agreed with that. I’m not sure what you are finding difficult ti comprehend.

I don’t even think that’s a massive amount, some people will have over £100k sitting in a bank more, perhaps more if it’s an ISA.

The OP has the luxury of a secure affordable tenancy and employment close to her home.

She's probably in a better position than many and likely does have options to improve her income if she chose to.

Yet she's chosen to complain about someone else appearing to have more money than her,even though she has no idea about the circumstances.

It could be their tax money, ie not theirs. They almost certainly work more hours than the OP, so it's hardly surprising they have more money.

I tend to send my salary back to the UK in chunks when the exchange rate is good and since stamp duty changes, just let it mount up but I dont have a pension and live miles away from my family (both good and bad) so my current account gets filled up but I usually remember to transfer it into separate savings accounts just in case some bastard hacks my account. I dont feel guilty about having the money, I chose a career and a country where life would be easier but I do totally get it when people say money doesnt make you happy that its nonsense. Money doesnt make me happy but life is a hell of a lot easier when the only tiresome part of filling up the car with petrol is the faff and not wondering if the card will work, or knowing if the boiler goes, thats that.

Earning 18k is hardly a luxury. Even if she worked more hours, she wouldn’t magically have thousands in the bank. Many, many people are in her position and would be surprised to see someone having thousands in multiple bank accounts - it’s human nature to compare.

My phone would show that I have lots of money in my accounts….. 2 of them are pension pots I cannot access and one is my DS’s account. My actual account has about £3 in it.

😂

I know it’s not the point but if I was in a queue for anything, let alone the bank, and you were stood that close to me, you’d be getting a hard, Paddington stare. There is such a thing as personal space.

Could this have been the remaining amount on her mortgage? A CF at work was looking over my shoulder when I opened my banking app and asked how I have 150k. I explained this is what I owe in my mortgage.

I thought you meant 800k! I’m totally skint but I wouldn’t faint seeing these sorts of numbers… 🤣