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AIBU?

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Original poster

I know Im being unreasonable!! but WTF?!...

205 replies

PunnyOliveTurtle · 10/09/2025 11:15

In the queue for the post office and a woman in front of me (take note we very squished up together) opened up her banking app. and my heart sank, she had 4 accounts...800ish, 2kish, 1kish and 10kish. I have one account with 178quid til pay day at the end of the month, and i need to buy food and pay a bill. I know i was unreasonable for looking, I looked away as soon as I could, but my heart died a little. I'll never have that kind of money. Such a different world we live in...

OP posts:
Obsesetits · 10/09/2025 11:39

Oh I’d be nosey too 🤣

fwiw; if you looked over my shoulder you’d see:
-£250 £0 overdraft remaining
£0
£0
£0.28p

the 28o is what’s left of child benefit after I brought the rest of DD school uniform and this weeks dinner.

Chobby · 10/09/2025 11:42

KpopDemon · 10/09/2025 11:35

I have an account with quite a lot of cash in because my mum and dad left it to me when they died. I’d rather have my mum
and dad back than a healthy bank balance, of course I’m grateful for the money but it doesn’t make me happy to see it sitting there, it honestly just reminds me that they are dead.

I hope your fortunes change but for the right reasons, not sad ones, OP

I’m sorry to hear about your parents. I’m not sure these sorts of posts are helpful though, as of course many people have lost their parents and also not inherited any money. Everyone loses people they love, but not everyone inherits. My lovely aunt died recently and left a grand total of £1200 to share between her 3 grieving sons.
FWIW OP I’d have felt the same seeing balances like that a few years ago, when living pay check to pay check. However a few promotions/pay rises/job changes between DH and I, combined with a real push on cutting back and saving means that we now have a decent savings pot.

MasterBeth · 10/09/2025 11:42

musicalfrog · 10/09/2025 11:25

The £10k one is probably the savings she's made for a child over many years. Accounts are connected. My kids are better off than me most of the time.

You have no way of knowing that at all.

Why would you say that?

It could be anything!

eurochick · 10/09/2025 11:43

If she’s self-employed one of those accounts could be for tax. I stick 50% of my earnings into an account that gets emptied into HMRC (four times a year for vat and twice a year for income tax).

Ginmonkeyagain · 10/09/2025 11:43

I have a few pots like that as I am a bit of a squirrel when it comes to money. Some are savings but most are separate pots that are earmarked for some sort of expense or other - so I have an account for my annual service charge, an account for holidays, an account where I am saving up for new carpets. They wax and wane depending on when the money needs to be spent.

BallerinaRadio · 10/09/2025 11:45

HangryLikeTheHulk · 10/09/2025 11:19

If you get a well paid job or start a successful business you might well earn enough to save that much money

Oh shit why didn't I think of this? Why don't we all just do this?!

Thanks HangryLikeTheHulk!

hyggetyggedotorg · 10/09/2025 11:45

If I opened my banking app you would see £157 to last me until payday on the 28th so I do know where you’re coming from. However, DH’s banking app would look more like the one you saw. That’s because the £800 in the current account would be our food & fuel budget (4 adults, 1 teen & 2 fussy cats) for the rest of the month. The £2k would be our holiday savings account which he adds a little too each month. The £1k would be our rainy day fund - again he saves a little each month towards MOTs, car repairs, home repairs etc. The larger amount would be part of the inheritance he has recently received following the death of his aunt, the rest of which is in an ISA.

It’s all explainable & doesn’t mean he’s even a high earner.

I just try to think that we never truly know anyone else’s finances. The £10k could even represent a bank loan for an essential expense & therefore actually be a debt.

It’s shit to feel like everyone has more than you OP, I get it. But also not everything is how it seems.

MaidOfSteel · 10/09/2025 11:46

HangryLikeTheHulk · 10/09/2025 11:19

If you get a well paid job or start a successful business you might well earn enough to save that much money

Nasty.

Idontknownowwhat · 10/09/2025 11:47

Loveduppenguin · 10/09/2025 11:28

A credit card balance would have a minus in front of it…

Show quote history

Nope, the PP is correct.
My Halifax credit card just shows a number and it appears alongside all my other accounts and a few times I've thought, oh I didn't know I had "that" put away. Nope it's debt trying to deceive me

CoralOP · 10/09/2025 11:49

I don't think those are crazy amounts and I'm not a hight earner at all. The biggest could be a house deposit.
I once inadvertently (honestly) seen a distant family members Banking app and she had 85k in her current account.

Devilsmommy · 10/09/2025 11:49

@PunnyOliveTurtle I know the feeling. Have got about £25 in the account until the 19th and am into my overdraft £800😬🫣 I also will never have that kind of money either

nomas · 10/09/2025 11:49

It’s better not to dwell on it. My boss is on £400k pa + bonuses and shares. I don’t really think about it, everyone has challenges, he’s not bad at all as a boss.

And death is a great leveller!

Simplestars · 10/09/2025 11:52

PunnyOliveTurtle · 10/09/2025 11:30

her phOne was right in front of me, I was taller than her also, it wasnt hard to be honest

Show quote history

I will make sure I keep my phone covered up to stop nosey people.

Idontknownowwhat · 10/09/2025 11:53

Also, in solidarity here OP- sometimes it looks like people have more than they do.
My accounts right now show-
£300 - main acct to last until the end of the month
£2087- it is savings but it isn't mine- DS DLA goes in there and its being used for private consultations for hearing specialists, hearing tests and will pay for his grommets (I'll be shy £1500 so that'll end up coming from my overdraft)
£1980 despite looking like money I've got, it's credit card debt... always tricking me into thinking I've saved more than I have
£94 in my save the pennies account. I'm betting by the end of the month, that'll be my fuel to get DD to college.

I'm sorry, things are so tough sometimes.

dudsville · 10/09/2025 11:53

I remember my father teaching me when one time he got out his wallet and I looked. He said it's not polite to look. I always thought that might be because the wallet holder may not have much in there. I can now also see how the reverse might be true, i.e. that they might have more than I have, and that I might feel hard about that. Whatever the reason, and you know you were being unreasonable, but when people pull out their virtual wallet, look away. Whatever information you gather will not help you in any way.

FurForksSake · 10/09/2025 11:53

If you saw my accounts listed one would say £200k in the list, it’s how much I owe on my mortgage! Very easy for a kid to see a list and not understand, or they’d just sold a property etc. inheritance or many reasons to have transient high balances.

if you saw mine you’d see a list of 10 accounts with varying amounts in adding up to a number that is comfortable.

limescale · 10/09/2025 11:54

I have an account which at times has lots of money in. I am set up as self employed and put £ aside for tax. Just before the great lump of it goes out that account looks very healthy, but it's not my money as such.

I've just been made redundant. At the end of this month I will get my severance pay. It's a big sum and my account will look very healthy.
If I don't get a job it will not look healthy for very long.

I have POA for a family member. Before pretty much all of his assets were used on care home fees, his account was very healthy.

Not everything is at it seems.

Chobby · 10/09/2025 11:55

FurForksSake · 10/09/2025 11:53

If you saw my accounts listed one would say £200k in the list, it’s how much I owe on my mortgage! Very easy for a kid to see a list and not understand, or they’d just sold a property etc. inheritance or many reasons to have transient high balances.

if you saw mine you’d see a list of 10 accounts with varying amounts in adding up to a number that is comfortable.

Yeah I was just thinking that… my mortgage shows as a positive figure on my Lloyds account. Anyone seeing that would think I was minted 😂

lifeonmars100 · 10/09/2025 11:57

HangryLikeTheHulk · 10/09/2025 11:19

If you get a well paid job or start a successful business you might well earn enough to save that much money

Please do elaborate on this sterling advice with suggestions of well paid jobs, what qualifications and experience are needed for them, where are they predominantly located, how secure they are and while you are at it maybe you could suggest ideas for successful businesses.

Opinionsprettyplease · 10/09/2025 12:00

You don't know what you're looking at. I have 53k in my account at the moment but it's my business account. About half that amount will go in business costs and tax, and the remainder is all we've got as a family for about the next 8 months.

Shutupkeith · 10/09/2025 12:01

I earn just above average but am a single Mother funding one DC at Uni, mortgage and bills eats round 50% of my salary. If you looked over my shoulder you would see pretty much the same put I have pots of money for various things. It can take me months / years to put away tiny amounts that build up.

Onthebusses · 10/09/2025 12:02

No. It's an exhausting way to live. If I ever do find myself focusing on what others have, which is completely irrelevant to my life, I would immediately refocus to my goals. I have savings I put into regularly that I cannot touch. I have 2K. This is the most money I have ever had.

My payday is in 2 weeks and I have £20 to feed myself in that time. I'm exclusively breastfeeding a baby and I'm consistently under calories. I've given up trying to eat "enough" but I feel fine.

I'm working on some endeavours to change my income level before my baby is old enough to eradicate my benefits. Plus I'm saving basically one entire child element of UC to elevate my position, for my children, not for me.

My children don't know we're poor and enjoy a good living standard.

I'm intrinsically happy becuase I choose to be. I have friends who are well off and I am so proud and pleased for them.

dinglethedragon · 10/09/2025 12:04

Comparison is the thief of Joy @PunnyOliveTurtle

your life is no different now to what it was before you went into the post office. You already know that some people are much wealthier than you - some obscenely so. Don't let that bring you down.

I have a relative who is in the obscenely wealthy category after selling a successful business - one of his siblings has gone NC because of that (hard line socialist). Other "old friends" have suddenly got in touch with "business ideas" they want him to support. While it would always be nice to have a bit more money - and yes I still hope to win the lottery - I at least know that all of my relationships are because of who I am not what I have.

Plastictreees · 10/09/2025 12:06

Just find a money tree OP, it’s that easy! 🙄

Some of these replies are ridiculous. Not everyone is in the position to be able to save money at all, let alone those amounts. Your unchecked privilege is showing.

tartyflette · 10/09/2025 12:06

Similar thing happened to me, I was in a queue for a cash machine and the young woman in front of me (early 20s perhaps?) was checking her accounts and I could see she had over 20k in both.
I was impressed. I am not on the breadline by any means but she was some 30 years younger than me.
This was Liverpool St station so she probably worked in the City.