What would your husband say if he came home from work and you’d had a drink?

[khlolea]

I have had a glass of wine tonight after work, thought why not?
Dh is home and is furious, speaking to me like a disgrace and slamming cupboards.
I now have an uncomfortable silence which isn’t quite a silence because he’s saying he’s not giving me the silent treatment.

I suppose it depends how much you drink typically

No I was home

My DH would probably comment ‘You alcoholic old trout!’ Then pour me another drink and one for himself.

On the face of it, his reaction is far more worrying than you having a drink.

DP would tease me for being a pisshead (I’m not!) and may join me for a drink. He usually doesn’t bother.

Unless you are an alcoholic or drinking too much regularly then he is a controlling twat. He is in the wrong here no matter how he tries to gaslight it off as your problem.

He would check if I'm ok, and what had happened but I very rarely drink so it wouldn't be the norm. He wouldn't react negatively though, your DHs response is concerning.

He’d probably quote this since we keep sending these back and forth. 😂

Mine would probably ask if I’d had a shit day!

Do you have young children?

i don’t drink very often & never did at home when the kids were younger. Now are teens / tweens i have the odd glass or wine or a gin but usually only special occasions but sometimes a weekend if i feel like one. My husband would therefore be surprised especially as it is early on a Monday night but i’m an adult who makes decisions for herself so he wouldn’t comment or judge

Nothing because I am an adult and so is my husband

Mine would say “I see you've had a DRRRRRRINK!” In a terrible faux Glaswegian accent and then offer to top me up.

He would join me. YANBU.

He'd probably say "Ooh, you little pisshead", because I'm not one, then laugh and think no more of it, because I'm an adult and can do what I like.

I would be telling your H, assuming there's no underlying alcohol problem, that his weird overeaction to alcohol is not my problem, it's his, and that if he speaks to me like that again because I've dared to have a glass of wine then he can fuck right off.

Don't put up with this shit, people!

We don't tend to drink Mon-Thurs so if I was drinking mid week he'd probably ask if I'd had a rough day, but he wouldn't berate me, nor me him so unless there's a back story and your drinking is a problem, then he's being an ass

‘Ooh pour me one while I have a shower’

Have a think OP
I bet there are lots of things you do to keep the peace, he sounds like hard work.!

This is standard for us on a Friday. Whoever is home first has usually had a drink before the other one gets home. On a Monday it would be a bit weird because neither of us drink during the week but he wouldn't throw a tantrum over it, he would just be a bit bemused. If it was more regular, he would be concerned.

Sounds like my mother.

Same issue about alcohol only being for high days and holidays. When she says she only drinks a glass of wine at Xmas, thats true.

She loses her shit if people drink more than she thinks is ok (not so much Dsis and I as we just ignore her) but my father really cops it.

She is very controlling about all things, it comes from a place of fear. If she is not 100% in control then she feels unsafe and insecure. My sister and I left home as soon as we could, and I think my father put/puts up with it because her controlling ways meant that she did literally everything for the whole family so she could be sure it was done "right", so he didnt have to do a thing. The alcohol thing I think is because the only time he ever pushes back at her is when he has had a drink, so she tries to stop him drinking as she can control him then.

This is not going to just be about one glass of wine at all is it? He hates you doing something nice for yourself and it not involving him, right?

Wow well done thats amazing 👏

He'd say "long day? tell me all about it" and then "yes please" when I offered him one too.

Silent treatment lol. He's a bit uptight, isn't he ?. I mean one drink isn't outrageous..A triple vodka before half 5 might be a bit wild but after 6, it's all fair game here.

Yikes ! YANBU at all but he’s is and I say this as someone who has drink once in a blue moon.
I hope you ignore him and enjoy your drink - turn the tv up!! 😂

Can I just ask if he has any experience of alcoholism? I grew up with two alcoholic parents and anyone having a drink around me was really triggering, to the point I’d just cry. It was obviously a really abnormal reaction and I had a lot of therapy to help move past it - but checking this isn’t a trigger of his? If not, it’s a shitty response. If it is, he needs help.

If DH has an office day it's quite common for him to get back and find me with a glass of wine while I'm cooking. Sometimes he'll pour one too, sometimes he won't.