To think most rich people don’t understand how the rest of us live?

[MyAmusedOpalCrab]

I keep seeing advice from wealthy people that is completely out of touch with reality - things like “just buy a house instead of renting” or “take a year off to travel and find yourself.” Even when they mean well, there’s a lack of awareness about how difficult things are for the average person. I’m not saying all rich people are like this but it does seem that extreme wealth can create a bubble where they forget what it’s like to struggle.

AIBU to think that most rich people genuinely don’t understand how the rest of us live? Or do you think this is unfair?

Don't know about porridge journalist - but on the basis of disregarding advice because the person giving it is wealthy, well, on that basis we should block our ears to Martin Lewis!

So you pissed around at school then? I'm not saying its you but we all know the girls who focused on make up and boys rather than lessons. Unsurprisingly now we are back at school with our own kids we are in very different positions.

Quite!!

I think it really depends. I had a childhood of abject poverty, neglect and trauma. Not having shoes kind of poverty. I was lucky to be fairly bright and very determined and worked and studied very very hard (and I appreciate not everyone can do that) and I very gradually pulled myself out of it. I then met my husband who came from a working class family, also first to go to university and together we have very good jobs and are now very financially secure. I have not, and will never forget what it was like to be so cold I got chilblains, to have 8 teeth removed because I didn’t have a toothbrush and to be looked down upon as one of the poorest families in a very poverty stricken area. I know very well that you can scrimp and cut corners, work very very hard, but still not have enough money. My siblings aren’t in a great financial situation still and I would never judge - we help out and are glad and grateful to be able to do so - we also try and do it in a way that won’t embarrass them. So yes, it depends.

But, as you correctly point out, she had a choice.

So you think family set up, your parents values, your school, your health, your community, your access to provisions, your safety, your peers etc have nothing to do with educational attainment?

I hope your job doesn’t have anything to do with helping people or require any critical thinking!

I was once unsure what to do career and life-wise so bought a recommended book “What Should I Do With My Life” which recommended talking a year off to travel and think 🤔 or taking a backseat on career by renting out a ‘spare room’ in your home. So ridiculous. Needless to say I still hang no idea what to do with my life

Some people have it much, much harder, and that's just the way it is.

I don't think it's fair to qualify or minimise it. Life is an unjust thing.

Lots of us would be in totally different positions, would have worked less hard at school etc etc had out backgrounds been different.

I'm not sure I agree. I've sometimes found that those who've pulled themselves up by their bootstraps ( or whatever the expression is) think, well, I've done it therefore you can too!

I think we are getting poorer as a country and Millenials now have the more dominant voices on MN and will in Politics too, quite soon. So things are changing. Most people have to work really hard to afford life and have children, that is just the reality on the ground.
Previously, the advice was “buy the worst house on the best street”, now it is more like, buy anything you can afford, get to work in somehow and be happy long term.
With increased poverty comes the realisation that people around you matter more and so does community. For the longest time, we have all been manipulated into purchasing stuff we do not actually need.
The war generation did not do that. They valued each other and recycled. Look the Boomers set the capitalist scene and had a wail of a time, but it is coming to an end. So what I say. Love and community matters more than money. As long as you actually have somewhere to live and we do have free health and education in this country and a benefits system and food banks and we should all be grateful for it and value it and respect it and each other.
I do not want to preach but a lot of desperate people are turning to the likes of Nigel Farage who is going to ruin it all and take whatever little is left from the poorest.

These days, unfortunately, many of them are graduates. Nobody told them that increasing the number of university places doesn’t increase the number of available graduate positions. So now they have the same job they’d possibly have had anyway, but with £50k debt to never pay off. Hopefully some will eventually find a better opening.

About a fifth of Londoners are claiming unemployment benefit, snd many more are claiming in-work benefits. That's not working age, that's the gross figure. About 45% of Londoners are below/above working age, which means that from a working population, about 30% are not paying their own housing costs and more on top are subsidised. Who do you think IS paying them?

I definitely didn't piss around at school and I've got excellent qualifications. But I'm saying that working hard at school doesn't guarantee a well paid job, just as pissing around at school doesn't necessarily mean you'll end up with a low paid job.

@MangoChia
the problem is that people paid relatively small amounts for services like cleaning, walking a dog twice a week, cleaning your wheelie bin are living paycheque to paycheque so if you do not pay them on friday the £40 in cash or BACS immediately they then can't go to Aldi for weekend food shop especially if another person like yourself has also forgotten to pay. but they need food as they never earn enough to hav a well stocked pantry and a full freezer, so they have to pay by credit card... if they have one but they might not be able to get one so they have to borrow from payday loans say £40 to pay back £50 within 4 weeks so now their £40food shop has cost £50 but they will still only get £40 late and they are still waiting for someone else so they are now stressed having to remind you to pay etc etc and next week if you still don't pay it will be worse, so when you finally pay them next week £ 80 they pay back last weeks shop of £40 and buy this weeks groceries another £40 and £10 interest so now still £10 down for this weeks shop so have to borrow again etc as they really can't cut grocery bill to £30 to make up for the interest
so unfortunately when you delay payment you are possibly causing hardship albeit not maliciously by forcing them into credit traps for necessities while you are constantly paying for credit you can't build a buffer
this is why when we are slightly richer we should be very prompt paying those earning much less. Most small businesses fail not because they are rubbish at what they do but due to cash flow problems having to payout sooner than they are paid
a small business will need to pay for supplies pretty quickly but lots of big businesses only pay 56 days later and can get supplies on credit terms too.

Supermarkets often pay farmers 2 -3 months after they get the goods and they have been paid for and eaten and the farmer who paid for the seed fertiliser labour etc all upfront sill has no money back and until he is paid he can't buy for next year theis is why small farms often can't cope as they can't get the credit yet the big companies who could easily pay them basically bully them into waiting months and they have no bargaining power

YANBU. About 25 years ago when our DC were young, my DH's boss was a very wealthy man. This boss sacrificed most of his salary and instead invested it in the company's excellent personal pension scheme. It was an incredibly cost effective way of investing.

Boss man couldn't understand why DH didn't do the same. When DH explained that he needed to keep most of his salary to pay mortgage/bills/food etc Boss man was genuinely perplexed. In his world you inherited the property you lived in and trust funds covered the bills. He was even more perplexed when he realised that our DC were at state schools so we didn't even have to cover school fees!

I think he was so rich and so privileged he just couldn't imagine that a working class lad from the other side of the tracks could be working at the same level as his aristocratic Eton/Cambridge self.

Boss Man retired a few years ago and DH now does his job. We are in the happy position that DH now sacrifices a lot of his salary for extra holiday allowance, pension contributions and other benefits but he isn't dumb enough to think that the youngsters working for him could do the same.

I'm also petty enough to be delighted that our two state educated children are much more financially successful than the boss's (lovely) adult kids. Although that could be from necessity as ours don't have trust funds.

Of course it doesn't guarantee anything at an individual level. But statistically it will make a difference and it makes sense to play the averages. Work hard at school and you massively improve your changes. I will certainly be continuing to encourage my kids to focus on school work rather.

I know the type!

But I would add don't judge his kids too harshly.

We all learn things from our upbringings and then - its human nature - tend to over-compensate.

Your dc may have learned that there are advantages for those who have inherited money and have tried to compensate for that; his may have learned, having had plenty of money growing up, that money isn't the be-all and end-all and wanted jobs that were more fulfilling for them at a different level. Perhaps your dc's dc will be the same!

Most things in life tend to operate on a pendulum swing to some extent.

But you definitely have more of a chance of further study or progression, certainly more than somebody without (for whatever reason).

I don't. As I said his adult DC are lovely and they area;so still very to our adult DC. I'm very impressed that their childhood bond has overcome old class stereotypes .

its just me that's bitter about his patronising attitude to DH many years ago.

Yes. I guess it was ignorance on his part as much as anything.

Yes I do agree to a certain extent
that doesn’t mean we don’t understand though.
If I thought that then I’d think my parents and grandparents could have fought against their lot and could have done better.

I think that they did the very best they could with what they had

At what age did you stop thinking a porch indicated wealth that would have someone saying “just buy a house instead of renting” or “take a year off to travel and find yourself.”??

Many people seem to dislike the wealthy while secretly wishing for the same level of wealth. It’s common to see criticism of the rich, yet expectations for them to fund public services through higher taxes persist. Similarly, people often criticize the wealthy but don’t hesitate to request financial help when needed.

The poor want the rich to support the entire structure; they see themselves as the house, with the rich as its foundation.

The wealthy work diligently to safeguard their assets, while the poor often work tirelessly to build their own or sometimes feel entitled to the wealth of the rich, desiring it in any form or manner.

It’s a paradox of life: if you have money, people resent you; if you don’t have it, they resent you too.

I often see posts on Mumsnet where people express resentment toward their parents for owning a house, even going as far as wishing for their parents to pass away so they can inherit it. The site seems to have a number of users who hold bitterness and dislike toward their parents, frequently displaying eagerness to claim their assets.

@ThisTicklishFatball

You seem uncomfortable with idea that the people who have most of the money should pay most of the tax needed to keep the nation running.

There's not much chance of squeezing it out of people who haven't got any.

And some people emerge with poor grades due to living in temporary accommodation and having no quiet space to study, being a parents carer, having chaotic parents. I had a friend who struggled as her mum was an alcoholic and constantly wanted her daughter to be chatting to her / keeping her company and would whine when she tried to study. Some kids have it much harder than others.