To think most rich people don’t understand how the rest of us live?

[MyAmusedOpalCrab]

I keep seeing advice from wealthy people that is completely out of touch with reality - things like “just buy a house instead of renting” or “take a year off to travel and find yourself.” Even when they mean well, there’s a lack of awareness about how difficult things are for the average person. I’m not saying all rich people are like this but it does seem that extreme wealth can create a bubble where they forget what it’s like to struggle.

AIBU to think that most rich people genuinely don’t understand how the rest of us live? Or do you think this is unfair?

@Pavingprincess I do get that too - someone I know was busy moaning about her income/benefits ( she only works 6 hours a week) but then I know she also gets almost £850 a month maintenance on top that doesn’t count against her UC and effectively still gets her rent virtually covered off - When I thought about it , disposable income wise she isn’t far off off us as we have high rent, business costs, no benefits and that’s between two of us both working full time in our 60s - there does seem to be some kind of an idea that on £100k you are bringing home 4 times someone on 25k - a bit of understanding sometimes wouldn’t go amiss - and yes I’ve been poor and skint too several times in life

Rich means different things to different people. I think the hardest place to be is in the middle. The place where you don't qualify for the help and assistance you might get on a lower income, but you aren't well off enough that you can easily absorb the gap between rich and scraping by.

I think it’s true that we all carry blind spots depending on where we sit in the ladder but what stands out to me with extreme wealth is how massive the gap can be, and how much louder their platforms tend to be. When someone with millions casually suggests a struggling renter “just buy a flat,” it hits differently than someone forgetting to be grateful for clean water, you know? Both are blind spots but one has a lot more power to shape public narratives.

Hmmm. Depends if they have been well off since birth I guess. My parents ended their lives owning a large house in Spain, a condo in Boston and rented in the UK. After my father died my mother got an annual distribution of £60k cash, a pension and had other income and no debts. Sitting pretty right?
Except when she was in her 30s with three kids under five she had to borrow money to afford school uniforms. My father was in hospital for several months and though she worked funds were very low. She literally had to count her pennies.
So if you met her at 60, you’d say how privileged is she? If you met her at 35, you’d be thinking gosh glad that’s not me!
It takes a certain lack if empathy or indifference or even intelligence to not see how someone else might experience life differently to you. Most people I know are aware of their privilege (otherwise I wouldn’t be knowing them long) and do things to help those in less favourable circumstances. I find it hard to believe that someone could blithely say ‘just buy a house’. Are these the same people who think having lattes is making it unaffordable?
I know a number of wealthy people - those with lifelong money and those who worked their way up. None are so ignorant as to suggest it’s a choice to be struggling or that someone can easily remedy it if they just tried hard enough. I’m sure there are some who do - but they must be very blinkered and narcissistic, and I don’t think most rich people are.

i think this is the OP’s point exactly. The higher income provided your sister with options “why don’t you send you r daughter to X school.” And for her it was an option. Lower income removes those options entirely. I.e no holidays and very limited support for SEND children.

I am glad your sister had the means (both financial and the means to get a job paying £95k to giver her the chance to to the best for her child.

Indeed.

The ones that spout about what they have due to 'working hard' whilst ignoring property inflation and inheritance.

People are not born equal to start with, then things are much easier for some for many reasons. Acknowledge the privilege and advantages we have.

Where are you seeing this advice? Who is making it to you?

Every one lives in their own bubble and don’t understand struggles of those living in a different bubble. Rich don’t think of poor people’s struggles to the extent you would like, but that’s because most humans are not capable or don’t want to think and imagine other people’s struggles and would offer a quick advice and move on.

What on earth do you mean out of touch? my DH gives me only £250 a week, 250!!! and I think that is stingy as hell, i think spending £250 a week is completely normal, isn't that what everyone else does?

@Pavingprincess your not getting it , you sister still had the choice to put her daughter into a private special SEN school .. that what money does it gives opportunity and choice ..

I don’t doubt that many wealthy people can have empathy, especially if they’ve experienced struggle themselves. But from what I’ve seen, publicly visible advice often skips those nuances. It’s not always malicious, sometimes it’s just tone-deaf or framed from a place of massive security they may not even realise they have anymore.

What I’m saying is more about patterns than individuals - when wealth cushions you for long enough, it can reshape what feels “normal.” And even the kindest people can fall into that bubble without meaning to.

It’s the human condition. Men don’t understand what it’s like to be a woman.Women don’t understand what it’s like to be a man. Young people don’t know what it’s like to be not young. Middle aged people don’t know what it’s like to be old.
we each live in our own circumstances, and the best we can do is be well intentioned toward others. To fail is human.

It’s not necessarily advice being given directly to me but rather the kind you see repeated in lifestyle podcasts, articles, influencer reels or even from high-profile figures doing interviews - people who’ve often forgotten how inaccessible some of their “solutions” are. Things like “just save up for a house” or “take time off to find yourself” sound well-meaning but they gloss over the fact that for many people, those options aren’t remotely realistic. It’s not about one person being out of touch, it’s about how that kind of messaging is everyone in public spaces and media and how it reflects a widening disconnect. So the post wasn’t to say every rich person is out of touch, more that it’s easy to fall into that bubble without realising, especially when surrounded by wealth long enough.

Yes but you are swing it only from one angle - money. It proves the point that most people think from their own narrow perspectives.

This lady has money but a child with struggles for which you are not able to empathise. You may have a healthy, well functioning child but not money. Now someone rich would not give as much thought to your money troubles as you would not give thought to other people’s others kind of struggles.

Humans struggle to empathise those who are not from their socio, economic backgrounds / status for lack of common experience.

I strongly agree with this. Politicians should be representatives of its citizens. Instead what we have is a big clump of homogeneity. Swathes of our elected representatives have come through the political family/private schools/PPE at Oxbridge/worked as a SPAD/parachuted into a safe seat, regardless of their political colours.

I’d like to see a system where in order to represent a constituency you need to have lived there for at least 5 years, and either worked there or gone to school there. If you are to represent people you should know what their issues are beyond the folk who shout the loudest at one of your one hour monthly surgeries. You should be one of the people you represent.

IME the rich who've never experienced being poor are like this, but not those who've experienced no money.

How often do you (if you are struggling financially) tell people I can't do X or Y. I do more and more now but there is an unspoken rule - don't talk about money. Sod that!

This, I have a similar experience. I was a young single mum who went hungry and without heating, broken pushchair that I could not afford to replace. I am not playing the victim, just stating facts. I pulled myself out of the darkness and am in a position where I don't have to struggle. I never take that for granted and appreciate so many things that others appear to take for granted. It's all about perception. I know people who have never struggled and lack insight into the challenges of others. This is just an example of the diversity of the human race

I think people get out of touch very quickly.

And - they don’t realise the cost of things like rent have changed (or by how much).

Regarding extremely wealthy people (what counts as extremely wealthy?) I don’t think I ever really see them inputting into how those on lower incomes should manage their money. At ‘extremely wealthy’ I think they probably know they have no idea and have nothing useful to add.

I see it at work as I work in a very affluent industry and I just don’t think it crosses their minds that people track every pound. I’m not poor but I track my spend down to the penny to ensure I don’t end up in the red.
i remember being asked why people don’t just fill up a full tank of petrol every time they go to the petrol station. He couldn’t even fathom not doing that.

Seriously

I just can't find the words to reply to this nonsense

Yes, I agree. They are the same group that go on that they saved to buy things. Well what a luxury it would be to have the means to save, for a alot of people in today's world they have nothing left over, and that is despite living frugally, and working their arses off!

Yes but usually those that have come from
nothing rarely recognise their new privilege.

Or the poster may have an SEN child but no money and no option to even consider private education. That’s a very different position to someone with an SEN child who has the privilege of being able to make the choice to send them private.

Yes, I think the difference is how much could you in all honesty cut back on if you had to. I’m down to the bone, there is no area in my life I can trim. I don’t have holidays, I don’t smoke or drink, I don’t eat out or have takeaways, I don’t go to the hairdressers or buy clothes. It hasn’t always been like that but because of some circumstances out of my control (basically ex running up debt/reneging on financial commitments) every bit of my rainy day money has been spent and can’t be replenished. My income barely covers my outgoings now. My last bit of trim is to change my Netflix from ad free (£12.99pm) to ads (😕) for £5.99pm. It’s the only self indulgence I have and the only thing that is trimmable, even in a crisis.