To think most rich people don’t understand how the rest of us live?

[MyAmusedOpalCrab]

I keep seeing advice from wealthy people that is completely out of touch with reality - things like “just buy a house instead of renting” or “take a year off to travel and find yourself.” Even when they mean well, there’s a lack of awareness about how difficult things are for the average person. I’m not saying all rich people are like this but it does seem that extreme wealth can create a bubble where they forget what it’s like to struggle.

AIBU to think that most rich people genuinely don’t understand how the rest of us live? Or do you think this is unfair?

Any fool can spend all the money they have, no matter how much, and then moan about being hard up.

How can they save it when they need it to pay off the credit card?

Sorry, but most of us in the West are rich by global standards compared to the other 8 billion people. And then whine about all the other small percentage of people globally who are richer than us. People always look one notch above themselves, rather than showing empathy towards the vast majority of the world below themselves. So be grateful for what you do have and not envious of what you do not!

I have never heard a rich person say what you’ve indicated in your OP!

Why would it matter how much my shoes cost (or were listed at) when i was giving advice? I buy loads in TKMaxx and have got £400 boots which cost nowhere near that, and I’d advise eating porridge for lots of reasons, one of them being cheap, filling and easy to prep.

We used to take the kids blackberry picking, apple scrumping, picking cobnuts and grew a few bits in tubs in the (yes, we were lucky to have one) garden. My mum used to do similar, otherwise we'd rarely have had fruit.

The person on the higher wage will have housing security, and will be paying more into a private pension, and is not at the mercy of various governments mixing up the benefits system, and freedom of choice, ultimately. Where to live, what to prioritise.
I'd rather have the 900 and feel a tad hard done by than live at the mercy of the government and landlords forever. But thats just me. (Although I appreciate im coming from the angle of growing up in low wage communities and am now on a decent wage myself, and I spend every day grateful for the money that is in my bank account, rather than obsessing over what isnt)

I agree with this.

Here's an example.

Last week, the government announced a £3.5k grant to encourage people to buy an electric car. So a selection of new cars are now getting a £3k discount. But that's still assuming that someone has the remaining £25-30k available to pay for a new car!

I'm in need of a new car, but there's bugger all incentives available on used cars, so I'm sticking with my current one until it dies!

It's like the 'incentives' to get people to pay for an air source heat pump. It's all very well if you have the money upfront, but if im faced with a choice of £5k for a boiler, or £15k for a heat pump that's discuonted by £2k, i'm still going to go for the boiler!

I think the crux is caring too much what other people say or do. That, IMO, is the small mindset.

Haven't read the whole thread but this doesn't seem true of the current Cabinet at least - good proportion of them grew up in poverty, or at least very modest circumstances eg. Starmer

No, some people on very low incomes get benefits and some of those people may live in council housing. You really think people on incomes lower than 100K are getting an easy ride of things because they receive some support and don't need to pay for repairs to what are often shitty housing conditions?

I think a lot of people lack empathy in general. And empathy when you haven’t actually been in that situation is even harder, for some.

If they’ve got two kids then generally (except in a very few tragic circumstances) those two children have at least one other parent, and that parent will also receive child benefit and top up benefits, not to mention subsidised childcare and council tax discount. Just a quick benefits calc gives about £1700 a month UC entitlement, giving that poor mum £46k a year. Rich, right?

You really need to stop wasting time on TikTok reels, or whatever platform, or paying attention to interviews with “influencers”.

I can assure you that in real life, the people who actually have money, or are
perceived as wealthy, aren’t out here telling other people to “just go buy a flat” or “go traveling.” That’s not how it works outside of social media illusions

Yeah, I have a friend like this. She's lovely but utterly oblivious to the concept of being skint. On the day I was busy receiving a charity grant from Women's Aid to put towards a deposit on a rental property so I could escape my abusive marriage, she was musing in the group chat about whether to buy a pony or a reformer Pilates machine. She also posts regularly about her and her husband's massive pension pots and savings and sends Rightmove links to £1 million houses (not exaggerating) and asks for opinions on whether they're big enough for her completely normal sized family.

The other day she said something about her shock at finding out a friend was in several grands worth of debt, the entire concept of it was just completely alien to her. I'm happy that she's comfortable and I'd never say anything because it's not her fault, but as someone who's never had it easily financially, it does grate on me sometimes.

That makes no sense at all. The more curious you are about other people and the lives they lead, the more you talk and listen to those outside your lane, the more knowledge you accrue and the broader your mind becomes. Sitting in your bubble with your blinkers on leads to a very narrow outlook. Doesn't matter where you sit in society, you are dependent on other people within it for one reason or another and so their lives and concerns will impact you.

It's not about sitting in a bubble.

The OP asked about being reasonable thinking rich people are out of touch with poor people.

Use common sense. What do you think? Why do you think you're entitled to the understanding of rich people? Are you that desperate for validation that you can't live a life without expecting Jeff Bezos to 'consider' you daily?

It doesn't do anything to advance your position and it's silly.

I think it depends what you’ve come from
People brought up in lower income families and even poverty that have climbed to a more well off lifestyle will be more aware than those who have never experienced it

We are, I suppose, better off than most but both dh and I come from very working class backgrounds and my parents growing up really did have no shoes, running water, electricity etc. I saw that every year when we went back to their family homes which still had no bathroom or water

However we benefitted from education and free University. That doesn’t mean we have forgotten our childhoods and past. It also doesn’t mean we’ve suddenly changed how we live or appreciate the struggles people have in life

Well yes, even with a household income of 100-200k you can’t just take a year off just like that.

Very few people truly understand anything outside of their lived experience. What’s unreasonable imo is expecting them too, and being surprised and upset when said expectations aren’t met.

Thread derailment happens in all directions. It’s common for any thread about a poster on a higher income struggling to be completely hijacked by the ‘check your privilege’ and ‘how dare you complain’ contingent. Many posters are apparently incapable of just not replying to a thread that not only doesn’t apply to them, but doesn’t centre them either.

Struggling is relative, and it’s also not a competition. Mumsnet is a place where low and high income earners alike can vent and ask for advice on their individual situations. High earners don’t have to shut up or pander by paying ‘I know so many have it worse and i’m really lucky’ lip service if they want to speak on their own situations.

Mumsnet is also a forum founded and started by upper middle/ middle class women, that attracted and attracts a user demographic made up of a significant proportion of women from those socioeconomic classes. It’s never been a forum where only those struggling on lower incomes dictate the temperature of the proverbial room, or have exclusive use of the proverbial floor.

Yes, this is a very good point.

I do think it is true that people don't understand how difficult it is for some people financially. There are some salaries that I simply can't "make work" in my mind and I have enormous respect for the people who do manage.

I try to be aware, but do find myself slipping sometimes with healthy food suggestions to people etc. Food is expensive.

I do, however, think - to a lesser extent - there is a bit of something similar in the reverse as well, in the sense that if you are comparatively well-off, people seem to think you can afford pretty much anything and they are very happy to mentally spend your money for you! I've had people suggest we take their dc away on holiday with no offer to cover their costs because we can "obviously afford it." I don't think they realise that we still have a budget for holidays and the like. It's as if at a certain point they just stop counting: 1, 2, 3 many, many, many ...

You see a lot of this thinking in political discussions around schools VAT ( eg: "Oh no-one will take their dc out of their school because of VAT: they're RICH"). There will be some people who have just afforded it and being able to afford more than others doesn't mean those people can afford ANYTHING.

BUT yes, I think there are a lot of people, especially on MN, who can be quite tone deaf about the struggle life is for some.

🤣🤣🤣 Starmer didn't grow up in “modest” circumstances; he grew up middle-class in a wealthy Surrey village in a nice, privately owned three-bed semi. His father was a well-paid skilled worker and his mother was a nurse until illness. They also had the wealth of education - grammar school and university.

I agree with this
A few years ago there was Govn money to insulate your loft
but you had to use a company to do that

Why would most people pay anyone to basically roll out insulation in a loft ?!
We costed out buying the insulation and laying it ourselves ( which isn’t exactly rocket science ) to using an installer and getting the subsidy
It was 50% more expensive with the subsidy

If Governments understood this they’d make it financially astute for all.

That said @Codyrhodesisaheel i thought the grant was £7,500 for heat pumps with average cost at £11k and average saving £1,400/yr. so worth considering

Of course. There are certain "mindsets" which are driven by the level of wealth you grow up in as a child which are hard to shake, regardless of your current income level, in adulthood.

I came from a comfortable (but not rich) middle class family: we had ups and downs financially but I never had to worry about having enough to eat or that my parents wouldn't be able to afford school uniform. We had holidays etc and my university fees were paid for. I didn't have everything I wanted, but I never really suffered as a result of lack of money.

My partner grew up in breadline poverty (but is now middle class). Our respective attitudes to waste are very instructive.

I don't beat myself up about throwing food away. I try to avoid doing it and don't do it wantonly but if I end up not eating every last scrap I don't lost sleep over it. It's not, in my view, worth eating food you don't want in order to minimise having to throw something away. I realise this makes me lucky.

My partner is obsessive about saving food and Tupperwares everything within sight, is very creative about reusing stuff if it doesn't get included in a meal and has a cow about stuff being thrown away if its good. Even though as a household we can comfortably afford to throw food away, it goes very much against the grain for him. And within reason I try to respect that.

And there are equivalent things higher up the income scale. My boss says she "can't function" without four foreign holidays a year. To me this sounds unbelievably spoiled and luxurious: I've had two in the past four years. But that's her "normal". Everyone's "normal" is different: I'm sure my boss considers me to be very lower class.

You just have to apply a bit of common sense and empathy and not throw out pointless advice to people about their lifestyles without the benefit of knowledge of how they live or what they can afford. But anyone who is doling out advice like "you should just buy a house" is daft anyway.

Grammar + private school

"good proportion of them grew up in poverty, or at least very modest circumstances eg. Starmer" 🤣🤣🤣🤣
He was raised MC!