To refuse to babysit my DD’s baby if she insists on naming him Wolfie??

[Jubillude]

Posting for traffic.

My DD (26) has just had her first baby boy. Lovely healthy little thing, I’m thrilled to be a grandma at last. I was over the moon when she asked if I’d help out with childcare now and then once she’s back at work. Of course I said yes, that’s what families do.

But then today she dropped the bombshell of what she’s naming him. Are you ready for this? Wolfie. 😳

Apparently it’s something to do with a “cool influencer” she follows (don’t ask me, I barely understand Instagram). I nearly choked on my tea when she said it. I honestly thought she was joking but no, she’s deadly serious. She’s filling in the birth certificate this week.

Now I don’t want to be cruel but it just sounds absolutely ridiculous. A baby, fine, but imagine a grown man introducing himself at a job interview as Wolfie. Or me at the WI trying to tell people I’m looking after Wolfie this afternoon. I can’t even say it without laughing.

I told her straight that if she insists on calling him that, I won’t be able to babysit. I simply couldn’t keep a straight face and I honestly think it’s cruel to saddle a child with a silly name just because it’s trendy 🙄. She accused me of being dramatic and old fashioned but honestly, has the world gone mad?

So AIBU to draw a line here, or is this as daft as I think?

And before anyone says I’m controlling, I KNOW it’s her baby and her choice. But surely grandparents are allowed to have a say when it’s something that could affect the child’s future?

What do you think?

Just remembered, also had Polish friend. Her father's name was Bolek, pronounced Bollock. Fortune provided her with daughters. Phew.

It’s a stupid name to lumber him with - reminds of that old programme in the 1980s - but just refer to him, to your friends, as Wilf, as a PP says,

The baby can’t help what he’s been named. 🤷‍♀️

My first thought, said in that wobbly voice the actress put on! Surely not, I’d be really surprised if one of my Year 7s wrote that on his book! Mind you, I have a student who used to identify as a wolf, so nothing is too amazing these days.

Edit: hopefully she’ll give him multiple names so he can choose something possibly more mainstream.

I know boys called Bear, Tiger and Fox so Wolf isn't any different really.

I know children called Marley, Bonnie, Teddy, Ronnie and Wolfie. They all live on the same newbuild estate. I know two kids with the name Wolf. And one grown man.

The Poppy I know lives in a big Victorian villa in a tree lined street in the middle of the village.

What does that tell you about class in the 2020s!?

Anyway the WI reference marks this out as slightly BS, so, I’m out.

My Dad's old dog was called Wolfie. It's a ridiculous name but you cant punish the child for it. It would be a disproportionate response for him to have extra time in nursery because of the name his idiot parents gave him.

Sounds like you just screwed yourself out of ever knowing your grandchildren. WELL DONE.

YABU and ridiculous. Keep your eyes on your own paper and zip your lips, your opinion doesn't matter.

Our neighbors had their first son and named him William the VIII. His nickname was Wolfie. Nothing wrong with a cute nickname but an actual name? Yeesh. But I do not speak to my mother and she does not see her grandkids. This is a slippery slope. Be mindful that it is her choice and if the boy wants to change that horrible name he can when he is old enough. You could even help him.

You ARE incorrect in thinking that grandparents have a say. You chose your children's names, now it is her time. I do understand it is an unconventional name. While it is cute now, it might be embarrassing for him when he is older. Perhaps you could approach her from that standpoint, that it could make things difficult for him as an adult. Perhaps she could go with Wolfgang or something similar, and use Wolfie as a nickname. But to refuse to babysit just because of a name is ridiculous. You love that baby, and you need to spend time with him and develop a strong bond with him. Spend every minute you can with him. Life is short, time is not guaranteed.

Indeed, I certainly don't blame you because I understand what certain Monikers can do to a person's future, especially in the early years of School as we all know how cruel and hateful Children can be and what kinds of impressions that cruelty leaves on us all as we mature.

LOL

Give over.

Of course you don’t get a say in what name your daughter gives her child.

And threatening to withdraw your offer of child care if she doesn’t comply with your wishes? She’s be best putting Wolfie in childcare.

You’re trying to blackmail your dd into changing her kid’s name?

As someone who agrees with you that that is an absurd thing to name a child, it is the parents’ choice. Not yours. You do not get a say. The sooner you learn to respect their place as his parents, the more likely you are to be forgiven for acting like your preferences are more important than spending time with your grandchild. If you consider his name something worth holding over their heads, and if you value time with your grandson so little that you would refuse to babysit because you don’t like his name… you are likely to find yourself without the option to spend time with your grandson. They will find people to watch him who do not disrespect and undermine them and who do not mock the name they have chosen for him.

Reminds me of Amadeus when Stanzie called Wolfgang ‘Wolfe’. I kind of like it but if your friends ask I’d say ‘Wolfie, like Wolfgang’. No one will ever know it’s not a nickname!

Feeling very grateful that you’re not my mother tbh.

Drat, you beat me to it! 😂

About 5 years ago a friend of a friend named their son Wolf. They changed it before he was 6 months old. Wolf is still the middle name.

If it was someone close to me, I’d be asking if they were sure about “Wolfie”

I think it's insane u won't have anything to do with ur grandson because ur daughter has chosen a stupid name. You could Make up a sweet nickname if u hate it so much. Call him by his middle name if it's better. Probably not if she is literally given him a name thats more suitable for a pet. Call him baby. Or heck sweet pea. But to completely write him off Is terrible

I think it’s a horrible name but as you say, her baby and her choice. Your choice if you want to sacrifice a good relationship with your grandson over his name. Try and persuade him to give it as a nickname so he has a more normal name for his birth cert. For example I think Princess Beatrice’s step son is known as Wolfie, but his name I think is Christopher Wolfe. That’s far more sensible. But again, it’s her call.

Remember his GF mum calling him foxy 😂
I loved that programme.

First “But surely grandparents are allowed to have a say when it’s something that could affect the child’s future”; NO you are the grandparent NOT the parent, you have already had your children, this is your child’s baby and the only thing you need to provide is unconditional LOVE.

Second, just be use YOU don’t like a name doesn’t mean that it’s a bad or embarrassing name. Take a step back and imagine for a moment someone comes up to YOU and says they don’t like YOUR name and demands you change it…..will you change it?

Third, Wolf is not a ridiculous name; Wolf Blitzer, Wolfgang Mozart, Wolfgang (Wolfie) Van Halen.

Perhaps you could try being a positive grandparent and embrace that your grand son has a unique name. I am someone who has a name that was in the top female names for over a decade. Going to school there were 4 of us in one class, I go by a shortened version of my name and chose to spell it uniquely so that teachers could tell our papers apart. In my work place I work in a unit that is part of the larger organization. My unit had 10 people in it with 3 of us with the same name.
My point here…..it was/is ridiculous to have a name so common that that everywhere you go there are multiple people with that name and, in a digital world the lack of autonomy makes it easier to steal ID’s.

maybe instead of anticipating someone thinking his name is funny you could start the conversation with “my grandson has an awesome unique name.”

Come the Glorious Day, no one will be allowed to use stupid names for their children, no-one dance to a Coldplay song at their wedding, and there will be a summary banishment to a remote island of anyone who ever expressed a liking for Mrs Brown's Boys to spend a lifetime with the cast.

Until then, I think you should not refuse to babysit your grandchild just because your DD decided to be cruel in choice of a name.

This. It won’t seem that unusual. And yes you are being completely unreasonable. More fool you if you miss out on your grandchild because you have decided his name is unsuitable.

It’s not that uncommon to be honest. And it’s not one I would use myself but I don’t hate it. I know a few.

I would however be really disappointed if my mother or grandparent didn’t see me because of something as shallow as a name not being to your taste. It makes you sound really spiteful actually.

You can’t come up with a nickname?