To refuse to babysit my DD’s baby if she insists on naming him Wolfie??

[Jubillude]

Posting for traffic.

My DD (26) has just had her first baby boy. Lovely healthy little thing, I’m thrilled to be a grandma at last. I was over the moon when she asked if I’d help out with childcare now and then once she’s back at work. Of course I said yes, that’s what families do.

But then today she dropped the bombshell of what she’s naming him. Are you ready for this? Wolfie. 😳

Apparently it’s something to do with a “cool influencer” she follows (don’t ask me, I barely understand Instagram). I nearly choked on my tea when she said it. I honestly thought she was joking but no, she’s deadly serious. She’s filling in the birth certificate this week.

Now I don’t want to be cruel but it just sounds absolutely ridiculous. A baby, fine, but imagine a grown man introducing himself at a job interview as Wolfie. Or me at the WI trying to tell people I’m looking after Wolfie this afternoon. I can’t even say it without laughing.

I told her straight that if she insists on calling him that, I won’t be able to babysit. I simply couldn’t keep a straight face and I honestly think it’s cruel to saddle a child with a silly name just because it’s trendy 🙄. She accused me of being dramatic and old fashioned but honestly, has the world gone mad?

So AIBU to draw a line here, or is this as daft as I think?

And before anyone says I’m controlling, I KNOW it’s her baby and her choice. But surely grandparents are allowed to have a say when it’s something that could affect the child’s future?

What do you think?

I grew up with a lovely boy called Wolf.

He’s now in his 30’s, married and has a happy and full life.

His name absolutely suits him and has never caused him any grief, thankfully his grandparents were less judgmental than you…

It's one thing to name your kid Woflgang or some other proper name and shorten it.

It's quite another to name a child a whole nickname.

To be honest I was going to name my baby something a bit out there but ultimately decided to prioritise her being taken seriously in life.

Does she have any German heritage to pick up on at all?

Yeah stick to your guns. Cut the damn fools out of your life and never look back. That's what I did. I don't know what's happened to little Cracker and his younger bro Trump but it ain't my problem any more.

It’s a pretty silly name but people are called Bear these days and get on okay so I would let it go. You could pretend to yourself it’s short for Wolfgang and he’s the next Mozart?
it’s fine to have an opinion but you obviously don’t get a say and if you want to have a relationship with him and to support your own baby at this tricky time in her life I reckon you bite your tongue on it.

As a teacher, I can say, he won't be alone. Wolf and Lion have become quite popular names.

It's not as unusual as Reality and Seven, both kids I've come across, and a lot nicer than when children are named after different types of alcohol.

You are absolutely unreasonable to mention anything at all to your daughter!

Wolfie, made me howl!

Short for Bam-Bam?

I thought straight away of the old sitcom Citizen Smith, where Wolfie is a comically ineffective would-be revolutionary whose catchphrase was "Freedom for Tooting!"

You could try telling your DD it will make him a laughing stock and will make people say "What big teeth you've got!", but if she’s really determined there’s nothing you can do. Is there a father on the scene?

It’s awful, but if she goes ahead you'll just have to talk about "my grandson". I suppose "Wolf" isn’t quite so bad (well, still very silly but I suppose no worse than Bear) so maybe you could use that.

@Coconutter24 its a perfectly normal
name in german speaking countries.
i’m not a fan of short version as official names so wouldn’t use it (but slso wouldn’t use chris, Zach, lisa, penny etc).

Yuck you sound absolutely vile. Your poor daughter.

You object to the name - okay, your prerogative not to like it. But refusing to have anything to do with the baby - the BABY (who did not choose his own name) because you don't like it? Barking.

What next? You don't like his haircut? You don't like the way he pronounces his 'r's? You don't like the way he walks?

I’m calling BS on this one.

That is a ridiculous name. He has my pity. But you just have to accept her (silly) choice. Less than 2 decades before he can get it legally changed.

Yeah... young Mozart got called Wolfie all the time by his family and it never did him any harm!

If it's good enough for Mozart ...

And freedom for Tooting!

I think your daughter should call him Wolf on his birth cert and Wolfie at home as an affectionate name... it's cute.. .but also totally up to her!

You’ve said your piece, but I don’t think you should attempt to blackmail your daughter with babysitting threats. It will spectacularly back fire.

No, you don’t have to look after him.

No, you don’t have any rights or “say” in any way or for any reason.

Yes, you’re perfectly allowed to damage your relationship with your daughter and grandson if that’s what you want to do.

Also, “Lovely healthy little thing” is such an odd way to describe a baby 🤣

Is the baby in Tooting? Power to the people.

Years ago, I worked with a very "proper" older man called Wolfgang, and my colleague and I were the only people that got away with calling him Wolfie 😁

I mean, I personally wouldn't name a baby Wolfie but it's probably not the hill to die on, either.

It was the first thing I thought!

The “thing” you refer to is a human.

You are only happy to help if they name the child something you agree with - the world doesn’t revolve around you. If I was your “D”D I’d find alternative arrangements

Oh wow Wolfie Smith!

Well, yes, you are right, it is a bit of a daft name. But OTOH to refuse to babysit your own grandchild because you aren’t happy with their name is obviously totally unreasonable. It’s not right to blackmail your DD and is something I think you would live to regret if you did carry out your threat.

@Littlecaf - you’re probably right.