To think I don’t have a alcohol problem

[Boingyboingy]

So I do tend to drink everyday. Never to the point of not being able to walk, being sick etc. I don’t wake up and crave it, I just crave the feeling of being chilled out and being able to deal with stress better. DH thinks I am an alcoholic and has been going mad at me

I used to drink every evening, I liked it. Att some point I realised I was knocking back a bottle of wine every night. I wasn't an alcoholic but soon would have been so I stopped. Stopping didn't cause me any problems and I haven't had a drink since as I had slipped into that habit so easily, unnoticing, that I didn't want it to happen again. You're possibly at that point now OP.

If you rely on it you have a problem

But its up to you to recognise it and decide what you want to do about it

Internet strangers can give you validation and "you do you" and "as long as your not hurting anyone" but they arnt living your life or your partners life

I would say that you need to talk to somebody about this. Drinking to relax is a danger as it suggests an unhealthy relationship with alcohol and as your tolerance increases so does your drinking. I would suggest talking to your GP. You can start off by increasing your number of days not drinking and on the days you are drinking look at starting later to reduce how much you are drinking. However most importantly you need to look at alternative coping strategies to help you de stress which are of course healthy alternatives.

I don't see why you need to go to the GP. But I would say, hand on heart, you probably do have a problem if you need alcohol to relax. It might be that the problem is you need something to help you relax because you're very shredded or anxious. It's just that alcohol isn't a good thing to use in that case, because it's addictive and has a bad effect on your body.

I know it's not as attractive as a glass of wine but exercise would be far better. Getting out of the house and doing a fast half an hour walk. Anything to replace that release that alcohol gives.

If you decided to not drink for a week could you?

No judgment here, I reached a point where I was drinking every day, having a glass of wine just to “chill”. I realised it was getting a bit much so now I don’t usually drink during the week and NEVER “drink my emotions”. I’m in anxious or low I avoid alcohol.

I think it’s a very fine line and one it’s too easy to slip across without noticing.

I don’t think you should fixate on whether you meet the definition of an “alcoholic”. The definition here is notoriously slippery.

The questions you need to focus on are:

1. Are you putting your health at risk?
2. Is your drinking creating problems for you and your loved ones.

Seems to me the answer is “yes” to both.

Daily drinking is known to be damaging to your body over time and also creates dependency and you seem already to have signs of this.

And your husband is concerned so it’s clearly impacting on him. He may be overreacting but for me the most meaningful indicator of whether something is a problem is when it’s creating concern or upset for others.

Based on what you have said I think you are at least psychologically dependent and need to tackle it.

Ive often read about old people saying they drink every day

I also drink most days. As I get older I drink less units because I get a hangover after a certain number of units (4 or 5). I do crave it to make me feel good in the evening. DH is the same. I know I have a problem but I don't think its the end of the world and I/we enjoy it. I realise this will horrify most people here.
I do exercise a lot and eat a lot of healthy foods (plus some unhealthy foods).

I was almost at this stage too. I quit 2 years ago and never looked back. I think things would be very different now if I hadn't stopped when I did.

OP do it now while you still can. You will realise what a waste of time daily drinking can be.

I don’t think two is enough

So “a few”, 6 days a week. Yes, you likely have a problem.

If you're drinking every day you have a problem, yes. It will have a cumulative effect over time, your sleep quality will be poor and you're burdening your liver with alcohol so its less effective at dealing with other toxins. Then there's the inflammation, dehydration and all the other delightful impacts of alcohol. Our bodies can handle alcohol pretty well if we drink infrequently but if you do it every day you're destroying your health.

see if you can drink only three nights a week.

My brother was an alcoholic which started when he was early twenties. I turn 30 next month so I thought I was past all that. You’d think I’d know better considering as I knew all the trouble and problems he caused to our family

Someone must have said something or you wouldn't be on here justifying it.

Drinking every day will mean you probably have a certain level of dependence. Maybe just try and take two or three days off drink each week? See if you can comfortably go a day or two without booze.

I wouldn't say one or two drinks a night is terrible, but it's the frequency more than the amount that can be a health issue.

Having a few drinks every day in order to chill out sounds like a functional alcholic to me. Whether you think you are or not, it's disrespectful to your DH to completely dismiss his views and feelings. If he was taking drugs every day and you didn't like it, how would you feel if he totally ignored you and carried on because he still went to work and participated in family life?

You need to try to find alternative ways to manage your stress.

It sounds like you may be becoming dependent on alcohol.
I don't think you need to see a GP but I would reassess your drinking.
See if you can go two weeks without alcohol, or only drink on Sunday (the days you currently have 'off')
Or seek help from alcoholics anonymous, just looking at their website may he enough.
X

It's strange that you think there's an age limit on being an alcoholic...being almost 30 doesn't make you immune to alcohol issues. It definitely sounds to me like you drink too much

How many units do you drink a week?

You're describing alcoholism - drinking for the sensation, the effects upon your feelings, the way it changes your mood, to 'deal with stress better' (hint - it does exactly the opposite and causes stress to everybody).

Not having withdrawal symptoms from a single day, not falling over or puking up is NOT evidence that you aren't alcoholic - most alcoholics can go without for some period, largely to fool others and themselves that they really can 'take it or leave it', the actual timescale for withdrawal to start if there is a physical dependency is longer than that for most and an alcoholic doesn't stop being an alcoholic just because their liver has processed the most recent drinks; otherwise they'd be cured. Being an alcoholic means craving the feelings and craving the feelings means being an alcoholic.

Sorry OP but you DO have a problem. No-one should be drinking alcohol every day - your liver needs some respite from the toxin that is alcohol (yes seriously).

You crave the feeling it gives so you are alcohol dependent.

My DH was the same. He died vomiting blood in March. He couldn't stop drinking every day (not loads, not getting drunk, but every day... ).

Your liver is a marvellous organ and can cope with shit and repair itself until it just can't anymore. By the time the symptoms of liver failure appear it's probably already too late. You won't get an "early warning".

Look on the Alcohol Support threads under Health. There's loads of support to help you really cut down. You need to.

So theres a family history of alcoholism.

And you are drinking most nights of the week and need it to relax…

Yeah I think you’re well on the way to having a problem. Time to do something about it.

Alcohol is a very clever drug. No-one has a drink thinking that they would like to get to stage where they're drinking all day every day. It creeps up on you and can affect anyone. The good thing is that you can nip it in the bud now. I read The Naked Mind by Annie Grace. It worked for me.

www.amazon.co.uk/THIS-NAKED-MIND-myth-busting-consumption/dp/0008293430

We steer clear of the word alcoholic these days. It makes it sound binary and is unhelpful. We say ‘alcohol use disorder’ because it’s a spectrum.

If you are driving every or even most days and someone who loves you is worried about your drinking then you fall within this spectrum - for both of those reasons.

It’s not what you want to hear - denial is a big factor in AUD.

You likely have friends who drink the same and more than you. You may comfort yourself with this and justify your drinking this way. Very typical in AUD.

You probably won’t stop drinking until you, yourself, have had enough of the cycle of feeling rubbish, drinking to make yourself feel better - and feeling rubbish again.

Stopping drinking is hard but absolutely possible and worth it. But, when the time comes, get help and support. Soberistas is very good.

Good luck.

If you need a drink every day you are on your way to becoming an alcoholic at best or at worst you are one already. No wonder your husband is worried.