To think our wedding might be massive failure?!

[Nervousb2b]

Hey guys, name change for this...

Will our wedding in a few weeks be a total disaster? The plan for the day:

1. A morning, Christian ceremony in a rural village church with around 40 adults and 10 children. Our two children will also be in attendance (our DD is only 18 months, very clingy and will likely need to walk down the aisle with me...)

2. A 40 minute drive to a rural pub located in the middle of a national park

3. A sit down, relatively casual 2 course meal there (I think a few people want to say a few words but we haven't planned for it as such)

4. A 20 minute drive to the final venue where guests who are staying will be with us. It has wild swimming in a natural lake, fire pits, hot tubs, and we've got a pizza van coming for evening food and alcohol will be there for when we arrive.

5. No music is allowed at the final venue (eeeeek). We aren't party animals and I want an early night due to small children, so I'm hoping this might work in our favour? Or is it really boring?!

6. For the following morning I have arranged for a caterer to come and provide breakfast, leaving for 10:00.

Does this sound okay to you? We are really panicking that it'll be a bit crap due to multiple venues, driving, children and no real plan!!!

EDIT:

You are being unreasonable - it will be fine
You are not being unreasonable - crikey, what a terrible plan that is

Any musical guests who can bring out the guitar for a sing song?

My wedding was very laid back, picture back yard wedding. All our guests traveled a long way to be there and were very close to us 40 adults and 15 children. It was perfect. The difference with yours is we had the one venue and guests stayed close. Personally I’d hate the travelling on the day especially with young children, I very much like to get somewhere and not move again, but I would do it for someone I cared about.

You know your guests and if they have happily accepted invites knowing the plan I’m sure they are happy for your day to be what you want. Have fun!

The only thing that maybe won’t work so well is the lack of a bit of music at the final venue. The rest sounds lovely though.

I think this sounds great for a crowd who suit it. It’s not a traditional wedding at all which is fine but maybe why people keep talking about music etc. but music and dancing don’t even make sense if the final part of the day is chilling on a country estate with some hot tubs, pizza van, etc. it’s just a different set up.

the only thing I don’t quite get is the point of the pub lunch. Is it literally just to fuel people between ceremony and country estate? Because if so that’s fine but it sounded like a wedding breakfast.
If it’s to play the role of the wedding breakfast it would make more sense to go directly to the country estate from the ceremony and have it there so people could relax and park their cars up.

a few people have mentioned coaches- there is no point because everyone needs their cars for the final destination. But the pub lunch to me seems the oddity of the day. It’s just plonked in there delaying you getting to a beautiful destination to start your activities and unwinding.

I’m thinking the people who are saying about travelling live in well populated areas/close to cities and major towns…….

Where I live travelling between venues for a wedding is perfectly normal, most “wedding reception venues” are at least 30-60 minute drive from where local churches are.

The only difference is that transport is usually provided…….

I think in your shoes @Nervousb2bi would arrange a bus to start out from the last venue (so that guests can leave their cars/belongings there) and take them to the ceremony, pub then back.

To be totally honest the travel time does sound a bit much but the final venue sounds like it will be worth it.

I’m dying to know where it is, especially as it sounds not too far from me.

It’s not the sort of event I’d want to attend. It sounds like a chore.

OP, I know where the 3rd venue is (well i think so anyway). I take back my criticisms - it will be bloody gorgeous!

Sounds lovely. Congratulations

Lovely and chilled. Don't worry and have a wonderful day x

Sounds like you’re doing what’s right for you and your guests. Enjoy!

Sounds lovely. None of your concerns, lack of music, the drives to the pub and venue, would bother me. People are coming because they want to celebrate with you. Try to relax and not stress, it sounds fabulous.

Hi there,
I would absolutely love to go to this wedding!

A couple of solutions to concerns you raised

1. is there any way to include some music/dance at the pub? Eg if you have a private area, even for a first dance? If not dj perhaps you could hire someone with a guitar to play and sing a few romantic Ed Sheeran type love songs and have a first dance to that, then do some kids songs to entertain them?
2. the drinkers and drivers can work it out between them and anyone who really wants to drink can elect to stay at the final venue.
3. i strongly advise you hire at least one babysitter for the day to be ‘eyes on’ the children. I know you said your daughter is clingy but thinking of the fire and the wild swimming water that is risky, and you’ll feel better and more able to relax if someone is exclusively ‘on’ that and isn’t a guest. Rhys babysitter can also put your child to bed early if you want to stay up later with your guests.

have fun!

Where is it I want to go!

@AliceMcKhow to make it sound even worse get someone to play a musical instrument badly at you with no were to escape too? That would make me 100% unable to attend. I know I said before you do you but the more I have read the less I believe that now.

The thing is, everyone who has accepted the invitation understands the format of the day, and is on board!

I think it sounds absolutely brilliant and I would love it as a guest. I actually would prefer no organised transport, and to make our own way there in our own time. It’s lovely and relaxed and sounds amazing.

It sounds so good, I would book the rest of the week off work and tag a holiday on the end.

OP please don’t overthink it. It sounds like you’ve already done a lot of thinking and arranged an amazing day. Guests we’ll know the plan, see you just go with the flow now.

Have a wonderful wedding day.

I generally hate weddings (we eloped) but this sounds great to me - especially the lack of music and (presumably, if people are driving) guests who aren't insanely drunk. Have a lovely time!

It sounds wonderful, I would love this.

10am checkout will be a rush

Suggest you try to negotiate a later check out, perhaps offer to pay for that. Or offer to get the guests to strip their own beds

I've asked occasionally and its usually OK to video they don't have new guests arriving same day

Sort some transport so people can have a drink before the final destination. It takes 2 mins to pick up the phone to a bus company. It will vastly improve everyone's day.

I think it sounds fantastic, can I come please?

Sounds literally perfect. Can I get an invite? 🤣

I think if all your friends and their +1s are very similar people to you, it will be fine. It sounds like hard work to me and very bitty. Cheesy dancing at weddings is popular because people enjoy it. Once your clubbing days are over, you don't get that many chances to get on a dance floor.

I think it sounds lovely. I've never been to a wedding where there wasn't a bit of a drive between church and venue. Maybe your guests can double up. Everyone can drink at the final place.. Or could you hire a mini van? Anyone who doesn't drink available to drive it?
If it hasn't been suggested already.. What about renting a set of silent disco headphones for the evening guests.. We've seen them used at several events that go on after hours and its always been a big success because of the novelty.
Have a wonderful day.

I think it all sounds lovely and I hope you all have a wonderful happy day x

I'd enjoy a wedding like that.