To think our wedding might be massive failure?!

[Nervousb2b]

Hey guys, name change for this...

Will our wedding in a few weeks be a total disaster? The plan for the day:

1. A morning, Christian ceremony in a rural village church with around 40 adults and 10 children. Our two children will also be in attendance (our DD is only 18 months, very clingy and will likely need to walk down the aisle with me...)

2. A 40 minute drive to a rural pub located in the middle of a national park

3. A sit down, relatively casual 2 course meal there (I think a few people want to say a few words but we haven't planned for it as such)

4. A 20 minute drive to the final venue where guests who are staying will be with us. It has wild swimming in a natural lake, fire pits, hot tubs, and we've got a pizza van coming for evening food and alcohol will be there for when we arrive.

5. No music is allowed at the final venue (eeeeek). We aren't party animals and I want an early night due to small children, so I'm hoping this might work in our favour? Or is it really boring?!

6. For the following morning I have arranged for a caterer to come and provide breakfast, leaving for 10:00.

Does this sound okay to you? We are really panicking that it'll be a bit crap due to multiple venues, driving, children and no real plan!!!

EDIT:

You are being unreasonable - it will be fine
You are not being unreasonable - crikey, what a terrible plan that is

I’m wouldn’t be too bothered about the drive, weddings are a long, long day and having a break isn’t a bad thing, but…

The no music will be a disaster, I’ve never been to a wedding where there’s no music. Ever. In fact I’m sure the venue couldn’t believe their luck to get a wedding booking.

Have you considered hiring a silent disco?

been too two pizza van weddings, first 2 people in van, took forever to order and serve 100 pizza's, Second 5 staff 2 ovens 100 to serve slightly quicker, wrote name and order on pizza box then called when ready, nice touch was newly weds had white pizza box's. Consider pre decide what guest want and write on box maybe.

Have to say this was my experience too. Pizza is the slowest "street food" offering.

It sounds lovely!

If you live in countryside Devon (rather than city) then driving 30/40mins is a drive to the nearest city/supermarket and really not a big deal

The plan sounds great; I would not fret for another minute! Regarding the transportation, perhaps you might ask a good friend if they would coordinate a carpool by asking everyone where they're driving from, whether they will be staying overnight, and how many people will be in their car, and putting together a plan. That will ensure that everyone has a ride, and might enable a few more people to have a drink or two if they wish.

Honestly sounds like a stressful, badly planned day. Having your daughter in the aisle is fine. I’d actually think that was lovely The multiple drives will be a nightmare. Finding parking, people getting lost, not everyone is a confident driver etc. someone will be late for your meal so what do you do then? Who cares that it’s in a national park? You won’t be going for a walk. Scrap the middle venue and just go straight from church to venue. The venue should be close to the church or find another one. No music sounds awful too. Will your friends and family be getting dressed up for the wedding? Will you all want to go in a jacuzzi? Very odd. Is it a campsite? Does that suit your guests? Catered breakfast sounds great, leaving at 10am not good at all after a night of drinking for some and then everyone wanting to talk to you with your kids running round, dealing with the caterer surely you’ve got no chance of packing up and being ready to leave by 10?

This sounds incredible OP. I hope you have the most amazing day!

Sounds lovely but have to be honest I would go to the ceremony and then the dinner but given all the driving wouldn’t drink and head home once dinner was done (wouldn’t go to the third place) so totally depends on your expectations of guests xx

I think it sounds lovely. Not everyone likes dancing at weddings - I actually hate feeling obliged to dance.. Fire pits and hot tubs sounds amazing. I love the sound of a crackling fire intermingled with laughter and chatter. Stop worrying, It sounds wonderful to me.

I think it sounds lovely and would feel very special if I was invited to something so intimate! Weddings are meant to have an element of you and your beau’s personality as well so if you and your guests are outdoorsy then this sounds perfect and a good reflection of you both! Not everyone is into the same thing obviously, but when you’re with likeminded ones I’m sure minor details won’t be a fuss to them. Personally, my group of friends don’t really drink a huge amount and we all live a good distance from one another so when we all got married the driving around and having a designated driver was definitely not a big deal at all!

I think this sounds like a lovely wedding, not traditional but I would prefer this to a more typical wedding and as long as your guests are the type of people who would like this then I don't see any issues. Not everyone likes to drink and dance at a wedding.

A few things I would include to ensure children are occupied and you have contingency plans for the weather:

1. Some garden games - eg giant Jenga, connect 4 etc, maybe some slightly more active games as well as long as there is space for them. This will give something for the children to do and I imagine your guests are the type of people where the adults might enjoy this too.
2. Colouring sheets/some kind of activity packs so there are are quieter activities for the children
3. A supply of blankets/umbrellas in case it gets chilly/damp in the evening.
4. Marshmallows and sticks for toasting over the fire pits.
5. A trusted friend/family member to be a contact if there are any issues with people's transport between venues and to make sure lifts are organised for any non drivers.

Are you going to have quite a casual dress code or will people be going to their rooms and changing to more casual clothes when you arrive at the final venue? Just make sure that everyone is clear on the plan and if people are changing, expect it to take longer than you would expect and make sure there is plenty of space for this with food timings etc.

I think it all sounds lovely. Plenty to do and a lot less boring than hanging about while photos and speeches are being done . Relax and enjoy.

Congratulations ☺️..
I think it sounds absolutely fabulous ! 🙌 😊..
The driving is grand too , not a big deal ..
Pity alright you’re not allowed some soft music in the back ground at last venue , as in not like wedding dancy music ..
It sounds like an intimate family/ friends affair , that Will be lovely ..
I hope you have such a nice time & wishing you the best for a happy life 🩷

I think it sounds lovely OP. If people want to they can club together and hire a minibus so non drinking people can volunteer to drive. At our wedding it was a bit of a distance for some so they hired a bus with a driver.

The end location sounds gorgeous, I agree a silent disco seems like a great idea.

If people want to celebrate your marriage then they will embrace your choices. Have a wonderful day and I hope the weather is kind. Enjoy! ❤️

Sounds perfect! I'd be really excited to join you and celebrate if I were a guest. The driving would not worry me at all.

If your party aren't big drinkers then I don't think the driving is too bad, but im wondering how many of the 10 children will be at the final destination and how old they are? Fire pits, a lake, hot tubs will require significant supervision of younger kids. As long as everyone has advance notice of the activities and schedule should be fine. I mean, presumably your friends and family know your preferences and aren't expecting a mini Creamfields when they get in the National Park? (apologies if all this has already been addressed).

I think it sounds really lovely OP. My only slight issue as a guest would be not being able to drink at the meal due to having to drive to the final venue. But if my friend has chosen this for their wedding I would be fine with it as it’s not my day or about me! It’s your day and important you choose what you want. I think it will be lovely and I wish you a wonderful day! X

Sounds fabulous! It’s your day, go and enjoy it!

Do you love this man and does he love you?
Is he kind, caring and considerate?
Do you want to be married?
That’s all that matters, the rest is just stuff.

Provided that the guests know they will be driving themselves, which presumably, they do, it sounds lovely. The last wedding I went to had the music so loud that it was impossible to chat to relatives I don't see very often which was a big disappointment!

Well, it's probably too late to change anything now, but expecting guests to do a 40 minute drive between venues, and then another 20 minute drive later on... that's a lot. Especially if they have to factor getting to the church to begin with.

Are there any elderly people attending? I'm sure they'd appreciate a lift. Could you arrange some car sharing maybe?

I think the only way a wedding can be a total failure is if the bride/s and groom/s end the day not married!

I get your worries but I think this sounds lovely and it's a small guest list made of people who you think share your tastes so it should be a great day, I think.

I suppose it depends on what you're used to but 40 minutes would be a light driving day for me. It wouldn't bother me at all. Especially as the Reception is the final destination point with no need to get to a hotel at the end.

I would prefer music but it wouldn't ruin my evening not to have it.

I've been to 3 weddings where the evening food was 'Wood Fired Pizza'.

At all of them, no-one queued. The staff came round with trays and you took a large slice. Then they kept circulating during the evening with more and more, so people could have some whenever, and each slice was hot and each slice could be different flavours of you wanted. People who didn't want much would only have one slice, anyone who was hungry could have as many as the wanted.

I think people have missed that you going to have leave the final venue at 10 am which will be very early after a very busy day .
Even if you go to bed early you might kept awake with the all nighters .
And then you are going to get every9ne in morning and cleaning .
No one want to look after other people's kids empploy life guards.

I would very doing the ceremony and pub then going home .