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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the men women need protecting from aren’t asylum seekers but the ones shouting outside the hotels?

181 replies

ForSoberBrickOwl · 05/09/2025 19:36

I read in the Guardian this week that 40% of the men arrested during last year’s racist riots had already been reported to police for domestic abuse. That stat hasn’t left my mind.
It makes me think that the men standing outside asylum hotels claiming to “protect” women are often the very ones we need protecting from.

AIBU to think the real danger isn’t coming from migrants, it’s coming from the violent, radicalised men already here who use women’s safety as a smokescreen?

OP posts:
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8
JSMill · 05/09/2025 20:10

WilfredsPies · 05/09/2025 19:48

I think you’re being a bit silly to attempt to compartmentalise it like that. The risk to women comes overwhelmingly from men. Men of all ages, ethnicities, political and religious beliefs, social and economic classes and nationalities.

Attempting to simplify it into ‘this group are fine but that group are dangerous’ makes your argument just as daft as the lot claiming that all migrants are dangerous.

Well said.

OwlBeThere · 05/09/2025 20:10

I agree OP. Local to me there was a ‘community meeting’ because of the possibility of ‘boat people’ moving into the community, lots of talk of how our kids and women are in danger.
One of the men at that meeting I know to be a wife beater. Another made a pass at me when I was 14 and he was 27 or so. Another has been to jail for assault more than once,

baffling cognitive dissonance at work.

CaroleLandis · 05/09/2025 20:11

Are you frightened of all the female protesters as well? 🙄

To think the men women need protecting from aren’t asylum seekers but the ones shouting outside the hotels?
Zov · 05/09/2025 20:11

scatterolight · 05/09/2025 20:02

So inside the hotels we have men from third world countries with extremely dubious views on women.

Outside the hotels we have British men (and women too) concerned about their wives, sisters and daughters.

Yet you, in some perverse effort at moral grandstanding, assert that it's the latter who are more dangerous to women.

If we follow your logic then once all the British men have been replaced by third world migrants we will be the safest country on Earth.

This is where "critical thinking" has got us. People who cannot see the wood for the trees.

An excellent explanation as to why the OP is being VERY unreasonable, (and speaking a load of rot.) 👏

Zov · 05/09/2025 20:13

Sadcafe · 05/09/2025 20:09

DD recently returned from a month touring round places such as Sri Lanka, Dubai, parts of the Indian sub continent, I know it’s not the areas the asylum seekers come from, but the thing she noticed above all else was how she was effectively ignored by the men in these countries when she ordered anything or paid for things, they always asked her partner if it was alright to proceed, outside of countries considered western, women are definitely still second class citizens and not respected

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Exactly. They have zero respect for women, and their values do not align with us over in The UK.

loulouljh · 05/09/2025 20:14

er no..

KhakiTiger · 05/09/2025 20:14

Oh look, more gaslighting from a leftie.

Hoppinggreen · 05/09/2025 20:14

Zov · 05/09/2025 20:13

Exactly. They have zero respect for women, and their values do not align with us over in The UK.

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You may be right but I have never been sexually assaulted by a man who wasn't white and British born

O0OO · 05/09/2025 20:16

Having lived near one (of the hotel housing) yabu.

Zov · 05/09/2025 20:18

KhakiTiger · 05/09/2025 20:14

Oh look, more gaslighting from a leftie.

Yep, and whataboutery! The lefties do love that!

Zov · 05/09/2025 20:18

Hoppinggreen · 05/09/2025 20:14

You may be right but I have never been sexually assaulted by a man who wasn't white and British born

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I have. So have many other women.

Absentmindedsmile · 05/09/2025 20:19

It’s not either or. Sadly. It’s both. Violence Against Women and Girls is horrifically high. It’s a scandal.

scorpiogirly · 05/09/2025 20:21

The Guardian 🤣

GagMeWithASpoon · 05/09/2025 20:21

Why not both? It’s not an either or situation.

If we think logically , women are at risk from MEN. Adding more men , statistically only increases the risk.

Absentmindedsmile · 05/09/2025 20:21

Hoppinggreen · 05/09/2025 20:14

You may be right but I have never been sexually assaulted by a man who wasn't white and British born

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Do you live in the UK, by any chance? With its 85% white British born population. Just asking. Proportionality and all that. Get it?

Hoppinggreen · 05/09/2025 20:21

Zov · 05/09/2025 20:18

Yep, and whataboutery! The lefties do love that!

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I have never voted for a Left wing party in my life.
Men who seek asylum here may be a danger to women but so are many who were born here, especially it seems the ones who like to hang around shouting outside where asylum seekers are housed - which I don't think should be in town centres by the way

Menopausalsourpuss · 05/09/2025 20:22

I think you are confused. That stat refers to men ARRESTED for rioting not merely protesting outside a hotel. They are two completely different things. I don't think there has been any analysis of the men outside hotels and for your info it's completely lawful to protest. And alot of the people protesting are women worried about their safety after several attacks by the illegal migrants.

araiwa · 05/09/2025 20:24

Every accusation is a confession

OwlBeThere · 05/09/2025 20:25

Zov · 05/09/2025 20:11

An excellent explanation as to why the OP is being VERY unreasonable, (and speaking a load of rot.) 👏

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We don’t call them ‘third world’ countries anymore. As they are not. Developing nations some may be, but third world? No.

there are men with dubious ideas of how to treat women all over the world. But the fact of the matter is, the men most women are in danger from are the men they live with, or are closely related to. That’s an undeniable fact. so yes, those women are mostly at risk from the men protesting ‘on their behalf’ because those men hurt those women.

TomatoSandwiches · 05/09/2025 20:26

How ridiculous, the men women need protecting from are in the hotel as guests and staff, outside the hotel as protesters and ones walking past and in the police presence as well.

All men are a problem, all of them.

OwlBeThere · 05/09/2025 20:28

Absentmindedsmile · 05/09/2025 20:21

Do you live in the UK, by any chance? With its 85% white British born population. Just asking. Proportionality and all that. Get it?

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But if the immigrants were that dangerous then there would be loads of examples of them assaulting women. But there are not. Women here are mostly at risk from the men they live with. Simple fact.

Zov · 05/09/2025 20:28

OwlBeThere · 05/09/2025 20:25

We don’t call them ‘third world’ countries anymore. As they are not. Developing nations some may be, but third world? No.

there are men with dubious ideas of how to treat women all over the world. But the fact of the matter is, the men most women are in danger from are the men they live with, or are closely related to. That’s an undeniable fact. so yes, those women are mostly at risk from the men protesting ‘on their behalf’ because those men hurt those women.

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We'll see.

Sskka · 05/09/2025 20:29

OwlBeThere · 05/09/2025 20:28

But if the immigrants were that dangerous then there would be loads of examples of them assaulting women. But there are not. Women here are mostly at risk from the men they live with. Simple fact.

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Seriously? The whole grooming gang thing just passed you by?