Aibu to message my friend?

[Roundmirrors]

My best friend went into labour 5 days ago messaged me to say it was all happening, very exciting, she was about to go into hospital etc etc... we have been through thick and thin together and besties since we were little.
It's now 5 days on and I still haven't heard anything more. I have messaged her, but she hasn't read my message (it has been received). I'm really worried about her/baby.
Aibu to consider messaging her family members to check everything is ok? The more time passes, the more worried I am. It's just so unlike her to not message... 😢

Sorry title is wrong! Should say 'message my friend's family'!

My labour took over five days then some days to recover post emc so I’d presume it’s still happening. No harm in sending one message to check what’s going on.

I missed your relevant contribution to the thread 😆

I had a similar situation, I actually did send a ‘hope you’re doing okay’ message this was after 3 days and I knew she was being induced so was aware it could take while, and after baby arrived she said her partner read peoples messages to her and she really appreciated it but obviously everyone is different. I think with a best friend when it comes from a place of care just do what you feel is right

Are you my sister?

What do you mean? How was it clear the friendship was over? Not sure how this is the same as the op?

I think this is really melodramatic amd one sided.
OP is her best friend. Its been five days. Im sure this woman is able to pick up the phone, its bloody rude!

Sometimes telling your best friend about something tragic can be the hardest thing.

Trust in your friendship OP & wait patiently - she will contact you as some point & it might strengthen your relationship overall because you gave her the space that might be vitally needed.

Thanks everyone. I'm acutely aware of this being a really personal thing for her... I have read all the messages and decided to hold off just for a bit longer... A few people have said someone will let me know when she is ready and I do believe that.

Does her brother have your number?

Even if he did he wouldn't be sharing birth announcements with his sisters friends, it doesn't sound like he and the OP have any kind of relationship. Is that what you're thinking he might do?

No none of her family have my number. But I have her brother on social media.

I’m not “thinking” anything beyond being nosy 🤷‍♀️

You have been best friends since you were children, so for decades. And you don’t have the contact details for a single member of of her family.

surely you have mutual friends?

As you've already messaged her since she gave birth (I think) probably best not to message again, but yes you could messsge her brother

Message her brother. The worst that can happen there is he ignores you or tells you to get lost.

having been the person who went into labour all excited and having a horrendous outcome, I can tell you that I was in a complete blur. I have no idea how my friends found out. I have no recollection of telling them or how long it took me to do that.

Hopefully this is not the situation for your friend. Perhaps something happened to her phone and as nobody else has your contact details she is unable to reach you at the moment.

Agree. In fact, I think it’s a bit weird to have friends’ partners’ numbers.

It’s not weird to have your friends’ partners number. It’s actually pretty handy, especially in situations such as this. I’ve got both my best friends husbands phone numbers, and multiple family members too - just through the decades of being friends and organising group events/holidays/birthdays.

Anyway OP I don’t think it would be unreasonable to wait another day or so or reach out to her brother sooner. In your situation I would have reached out by now, but it depends on the relationship you have with your friend and her family.

I don't get why people would find this odd, I have a very close childhood friend but I don't have the numbers of any of her family members and we don't have any mutual friends as we went to separate secondary schools, uni etc.

I would also message the brother, once.
My brothers partner spent 5 days giving birth to their first (induced) and the trauma of that understandably stayed with her. The whole experience was horrific for her. Any outcome that previous PP’s have suggested could be going on but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to contact a family member, as long as you’re not overdoing it.

I would contact the brother. If you don’t have her family’s contact numbers and vice versa then they might not be able to let you know what’s happening/happened.
He might not reply but at least you’ve tried to ask after your friend. I hope her and her baby are ok

This

Do you live in the place you grew up? I dont and neither do the majority of my friends here so, no, we have no contact with each others families as we don't know them.

My friends from my home town are a different matter, I would know more about them and have ways to get in touch.

Yes, this! And I probably did have her family home phone number or probably even her mum and dads number back in the day for emergencies, especially when we used to e.g. go on the train to nearby towns/cities for shopping as teens etc... but now I am a grown woman I don't hang on to random people's numbers!

No I don't. But funnily enough I do have the numbers of some of my local short-duration friends spouses and parents, because they too are local and I've had to liaise with them for various reasons eg. handing over childcare, kids party drop offs, etc. before!

Well it’s not ‘random people’ to be fair, if it’s your best friends family. Very handy to have contact details of next of kin as this scenario shows.