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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Be absolutely honest, would you consider only fans/sex work if it guaranteed you’d be rich?

190 replies

Love13 · 04/09/2025 14:46

If you were being 100% honest hypothetically. Would you consider sex work/only fans/webcam work if you could guarantee you’d become rich.

Obviously completely hypothetical because in reality most of us probably wouldn’t be able to make much money, we’ve probably got children to consider, you might already be well off.

But if it was the difference between working in a job you hate until retirement, or doing sex work for 10 years and then being able to retire a millionaire, if it was safe and you only had yourself to please. Could you forget your morals and do it? Do you think you could live with it?

Yabu - no
Yanbu - you’d consider it.

If you would consider it, do you think you’re a highly sexualised person anyway, maybe multiple sexual partners, able to separate sex from emotions.

OP posts:
Original poster
Love13 · 05/09/2025 13:43

CoffeeCantata · 05/09/2025 13:19

Honest answer?

No, I haven’t. I’m interested only in romance (never been fussed much by sex). I have always really loved the wooing, getting to know each other part of a relationship, and I’ve only had 2 serious relationships in my life. I couldn’t countenance sex without the long preliminaries of what used the called wooing. Its absolutely heavenly and if you go straight to the sex, you don’t know what you’re missing!

I do not give a single f that people will think I’m a Victorian weirdo - this is what works for me and I’ve had a happy emotional life because of it.

I most definitely would be traumatised and humiliated by sex without a disgusting stranger. They would be disgusting be definition - buying a woman’s body for their pleasure.

Show quote history

I certainly don’t think you’re a Victorian weirdo, I just think that different people view sex differently.

I’d have found it difficult to be seeing someone I liked and fancied and not have sex. I wouldn’t have the willpower to wait. Yes that has resulted in me having sex with men that I’ve ended up not liking, but I don’t feel particularly bad about it.

OP posts:
CoffeeCantata · 05/09/2025 14:04

Love13 · 05/09/2025 13:43

I certainly don’t think you’re a Victorian weirdo, I just think that different people view sex differently.

I’d have found it difficult to be seeing someone I liked and fancied and not have sex. I wouldn’t have the willpower to wait. Yes that has resulted in me having sex with men that I’ve ended up not liking, but I don’t feel particularly bad about it.

Show quote history

I do realise it’s a bit odd. I think I must have a low sex drive! Yes, of course I love it with the right person but I’m incredibly shy and need to build up trust in my partner.

i have a friend who was much freer and had some horrendous experiences of being verbally abused and insulted about her physical appearance by men she’d gone to bed with immediately. I’d never recover from that…I’d be heading for the nunnery!

Original poster
Love13 · 05/09/2025 14:25

CoffeeCantata · 05/09/2025 14:04

I do realise it’s a bit odd. I think I must have a low sex drive! Yes, of course I love it with the right person but I’m incredibly shy and need to build up trust in my partner.

i have a friend who was much freer and had some horrendous experiences of being verbally abused and insulted about her physical appearance by men she’d gone to bed with immediately. I’d never recover from that…I’d be heading for the nunnery!

Show quote history

It’s not odd and probably a very responsible and safe way to behave.

I was watching a programme about a porn star/only fans creator and she said that she spends a lot of the time thinking about sex and will usually look at someone and imagine what it’s like to have sex with them or to see them naked.

I think that I am a lot like that. I could be at work or at my child’s football match and I’ll be looking at my colleagues or the football dads or dads at the school gates and thinking “I wonder if they are any good in bed”. I get crushes on people all the time. My sex drive isn’t as high as it was when I was younger but I was always desperate to get home from work to have sex.

No idea if that is normal. I’m actually very shy though, very average looking and married so I keep my thoughts to myself 🤣

OP posts:
Catpiece · 05/09/2025 15:07

Not with my gut, no

CharmCharmCharm · 05/09/2025 16:57

PermanentTemporary · 05/09/2025 06:59

I think those of us who are saggy, old and unattractive underestimate the number of men who actively enjoy humiliating women. There would be a market for us. It’s a market of men wanking while calling us disgusting old skanks and asking us to do increasingly degrading things to ourselves. Though tbh the same is true for the young and attractive. Hope nobody deluded themselves that ‘sex work’ involves people being nice and having fun.

This. It’s not a sexy little one night stand scenario as some people seem to be thinking. Men can be disgusting and lots of them hate women and wish them harm. Particularly women who can be bought.

rainbowunicorn22 · 05/09/2025 17:03

No for three reasons;
1 I have more respect for myself and my body
2 These things have a habit of coming back and biting you when you least expect
3 When you start these things, they often escalate so you end up going further than you intended to or being caught up in some horrible things, including drugs

CoffeeCantata · 05/09/2025 18:27

Ihaveoflate · 04/09/2025 15:54

I did some glamour modelling when I was younger in the days when it was still print magazines. I don't regret it but I'm bloody grateful it was the days before the internet took off. I wouldn't want it coming back to haunt me.

I also did escort work in my early 20s alongside a professional career. It didn't make me rich but with hindsight, it really damaged my relationship with sex. I can separate sex from emotion but that hasn't been advantageous in my life overall.

I think there’s a lot of naivety about sex work from non-sex- workers. I remember a thread on here a while back where OP was considering doing escort work for a bit of extra money and didn’t realise that it ALWAYS involved sex. Ex-escorts came on to explain that, whatever the agency blurb said, “extras” were pretty much expected and compulsory.

If you could just dress up and accompany an awful bloke to dinner for good money I’d consider it myself!

NoKidsSendDogs · 05/09/2025 20:29

ObliviousCoalmine · 04/09/2025 15:26

Depends what it involves. “Sex work” is a broad spectrum.

Exactly. If it's just me, no other people involved, yep.

rasputinsghost · 06/09/2025 07:45

At my age, with my body, I would have to do something really filthy to make any cash from OF. However, if it was a one off, solo, I could remain anonymous and the money was a life changing amount (for me and my family), I would do it.

(Now, I have just confessed on an online forum that I would perform sex acts for money! It would have to be a LOT of money though! I would be kind of high end OF).

Franpie · 06/09/2025 12:53

I think if you’re smart, savvy, hard-working and entrepreneurial enough to get rich doing sex-work (I.e. Bonny Blue) then you’d probably be able to get rich doing plenty of other things without needing to do sex work so why do it??

JamPotJenny · 07/09/2025 08:11

TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 04/09/2025 15:51

I have no moralistic objections to truly voluntary sex work, but I also happen to be very basic in my wants and don't want to be a sex worker.

I can make money in more interesting ways - I've found a good but slightly boring niche and I'm happy enough with that

Would you mind sharing? I quite enjoy ’boring’ ☺️

TranceNation · 07/09/2025 08:13

Nope. Literally selling your dignity.

Furrylittlesweetpotatoes · 07/09/2025 08:17

Read enough on here in relationships to know there is often a female betrayed victim of a man’s spending on only fans…. I absolutely wouldn’t be part of an industry that supports men in the abuse of their primary partners.

And by abuse I’m referring to lying, manipulation, financial abuse and removal of personal agency among many other things..

AmberDuckBlue · 07/09/2025 08:19

As above I know from ONS I can't separate sex and emotions. I'd need therapy.

XWKD · 07/09/2025 08:23

Nope. I'm not interested in being rich. If I was poor and desperately in need of money I might feel that I have no choice, which is often the case with prostitution.

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