DSD picking newborn up and putting him back in Moses basket

[Pinkpetal9999]

My DSD (12) was visiting, our newborn is 4 weeks old and still has a delicate neck. I am happy with DSD holding her brother as long as one of us has put him in a position that keeps his neck supported. She will hold him from time to time if we are in another room.

However to my horror the other day I saw her taking him out of his Moses basket and putting him back.

Am I being unreasonable in that I feel that’s a step too far?

This thread is being derailed by people discussing the step-family issue, which is actually irrelevant.

It's a pity you didn't show both the older DC how to handle the baby @Pinkpetal9999

You will but you haven't. It should have been done long ago.

@ParmaVioletTea also selective blindness. I have an 11 year old son

@Thedoorisalwaysopen sorry let me hop in my Time Machine and change history

No but your language about your SD does.

why haven't you taught her how to pick him up properly & are treating her like a very small child placing the baby so she can 'hold him'

she's 12. I was regularly babysitting a newborn at that age. From a week old. While the mum was having to go to medical appointments. Expressed milk feeds, nappies & obviously carrying her about & putting her in her Moses basket. Luckily she had the baby at the start of the holidays. So she had my help for a good 6 weeks, before I could only help out of school hours.

Where has OP treated her like an outsider?
They've not shown the son either. Is he being treated like an outsider too?

Where? Apologies if I missed it

@SummerFrog25 thats wildly irresponsible to leave a 12 year old in charge of a newborn and going out of the house. I’m sorry but that is not okay whether you used to do it or not.

well it's too late for that. How about getting off the internet and doing it now!

@Thedoorisalwaysopen the fact you’ve just managed to respond to that is laughable. Enjoy your day

I’ve also just rechecked and @ArtTheClownIsNotAMime has not offered alternative wording.

YABVU if the poor girl needs to ask permission for physical contact with her sibling then you need to ask her permission from her for physical contact with her dad!

I personally wouldn't want anybody picking up my very new baby without asking first. 🤷🏼‍♂️ I wouldn't pick up someone else's very new baby without asking first either. That would apply to both my daughters, aged 11 and 8, and anybody else who wasn't the baby's father.

Also, I'm not sure what word the OP should have used to avoid this pile-on. Unless the child lives there full-time or the vast majority of the time, then of course she is visiting. It doesn't mean her SM doesn't like her, doesn't want her there or doesn't see her as part of the family. There has been absolutely no derogatory language or comment aimed at the SD by her SM that I can see, so this assumption by some posters is a massive, and quite malicious, stretch.

@KarmenPQZ weird comment

🙄🙄🙄

You didn't check very carefully. 10:21.

So now, we shouldn't say that our stepchildren are visiting or staying with us.
According to you, we shouldn't even point out that they're not there all the time?

🤣 🤣 🤣

I completely agree, none of our older children were allowed to pick up their newborn siblings without one of us being there to supervise and it was always myself or their dad who lifted the baby out of the cot/moses basket to let them hold the baby while they were seated. The pile on the OP is awful for simply asking a question. Everyone parents differently and has different rules.

@ArtTheClownIsNotAMime also I see you have written on another post about a woman who shouted at her toddler and said “I hate you” that it’s fine and not to worry about it. But me saying I don’t want either of the kids handling the baby until he’s a bit more robust a problem… interesting

Let's have your other usernames so we can see what else you've posted. I bet it would be very revealing.

I am quite surprised you havent shown her the right way to hold baby, literally the day I came home both brothers held their baby sister on the couch being shown how to hold and explained about the neck and needing to ask to move and hold baby ages 5 and 7. I get youre anxious but try and explain and ask for her to hold baby for pictures in a safe supported position so she can enjoy her sibling.

@Petitchat if I had referred to her as just my daughter I would have been ripped to shreds for trying to replace her mother. This site is the bloody Wild West 😂😂

if I hadn’t mentioned she was “visiting” (god strike me down again) I would have been accused of not letting her bond with her sibling in her full time home. You cannot win with this ridiculousness

@MushroomQueen again selective blindness. She has been shown how to support his head when holding. My post is regarding picking him up and putting him down - completely different

sigh

Familiar pattern.

OP: AIBU?
Mumnset: yes.
OP: NO I'M NOT.

OK. Don't ask then.

And here you have it guys.
The alternative wording to "my stepdaughter visited"

Well, thats that sorted then.
Maybe we can now get on with the subject at hand, which is the lifting baby in and out ...