To wonder how on earth people are seeing friends every week

[Cathkidson36]

Even every 2-3 weeks, and to be honest, every month!
I couldn't imagine such a world, these are not all childfree women too. Post on here asking how often you see your friends and you'll get a range of people saying it's the above.

I'm lucky to see any of mine more than a couple of times a year and to get a text back in fewer than 3-4 business days sometimes. None of them live very far either, certainly no more than about an hour!

Am I just not close friendship material? I couldn't imagine any friend wanting to see me that much? I think most people just only see me as an acquaintance sadly.

I have got lots of close friends but I think that is because I have been single for long periods of time. I don’t keep all my friendships separate to my kids.
So for example I met my friend and went shopping a few days ago and my 16 year old came with us. He has known her for years. They had a nice chat. My 2 teens know most of my friends.

I have various groups where we used to meet up and bring the kids (no baby sitter- single parent). Now we go to each others houses for dinner etc as no babysitter required.

I have a close friend who has fibromyalgia so we don’t physically meet up but we talk most days on Facebook messenger. Again, because I don’t have a partner to talk about life with these friendships are very important to me.
It is expensive though meeting various people for lunch etc. I try and do cheap meet ups most of the time.

I posted on here a few weeks back and people were aghast that I said I wanted to see my friends every week/fortnight or so. But I do - I like very close friendships where everyone knows about the current goings on with each other’s kids, jobs, families and so on, and I dislike both the “annual catch up” type and the “constantly checking in on WhatsApp/FB” type. But that means that I seek out friends who also like that approach. It’s self-selecting.

I work 12 hour shifts day and night rotation. They bugger my life up but I have more days off in a month so more chance to meet friends. I usually meet once a fortnight with my best friend usually for a lunch, but txt and/or talk most days. Others I speak to once a week, but can txt anytime. My kids friends are mostly my work colleagues with kids the same age, we do play dates if shifts and weather allows, maybe 1 every 3-4 months average. My other close friend lives an hour away, works shifts we see each other 1-2 months but txt weekly x

My best friend lives a couple of streets over and we have kids the same age so I see her at least twice a week.
My other friends I see maybe once every other month

My oldest and closest friends live in another country so I see them, on average, once a year and we stay in touch through WhatsApp etc. My closest friends here, I see maybe once every 6-8 weeks.

I have young children and I work full time so family time is my priority on weekends.

I probably only do a lunch/ dinner/ drinks type thing once or twice a month but I see friends a few times a week as I have two weekly "run dates" . I also have a lot of "good acquaintances" that I see through a v outing hobby (windsurfing). I'm about to be an empty nester so aiming to reconnect with some other friends who it's been harder to see and who are now in the same boat.

I talk to one set of close friends almost every day on WhatsApp but only see them 3/4 times a year because we live in different corners of the country (London, East Mids, Lancs and Norfolk!). My ‘best’ friend I see probably once every 6wks or so; she’s a single parent in a long distance relationship so if she doesn’t have her DC she’s probably away. And I see DSis (who I’m very close to) probably monthly, despite the fact that we live 20 mins from each other.

We all have busy lives. Doesn’t mean we’re any less close or supportive; just that you change your socialising to suit your situation.

I definitely see friends this often but the truth of it is that 1) my kids are older (2 adults and one teen and the teen does a lot of football stuff with dh which frees up quite a lot of time for me) 2) I wfh a few days a week so have time to eg have mil round for lunch or go and see my mum at lunch meaning I feel better that I’ve at least seen them and don’t feel any guilt if I don’t have time to nip in at the weekends! 3) I see some of my friends in a social/exercise way, so one of my friends I see every week because she picks me up and we go to an exercise class together. Have a natter on the 15 minute drive there and back. Another friend I pick up for a swim a couple of times a week and we have quick catch ups on the way to and from and during!

Some friendship groups we only make arrangements every 3 months or so.
others I see monthly for a dinner catch up.

I’m finally at a stage in my life where I can do my own thing, after 2 decades of raising children and giving a lot of myself to them, starting at age 19!! I don’t feel bad about prioritising myself now. I do a lot with dh and my dc too but I do feel like my friendships are worth investing time in. They’ve all been there for me when the shit hit the fan in the past and I’m happy to share the good times with them too.

I have 2 children with SEND and work 4 days a week in a job that I love but can be emotionally draining. I could, technically, see a friend every week on my non-working day but to he honest I like my own company and really value time to myself. I also prioritise time with DH at weekends. So I tend to see friends once a month, although we message each other more regularly. I think the important thing is to have friends who have similar expectations in terms of contact. I would find it hard to sustain a friendship with someone who wanted to meet up every few days and talk on the phone all the time, and they would probably be just as frustrated by me!

Are you pro-active in reaching out? I think that's very important.

The other driver of seeing friends regularly is having a shared hobby. If you're in a weekly choir/book group/volunteer group/Pilates class you will see each other regularly.

When y kids were young Wednesday night was my night to meet friends. We would take it in turn to go to each other's houses.
I would go out for a big night out on an irregular basis in a Friday or Saturday with them and usually go to the city once a month. Dh went out for the last hour or so on Sunday nights oncevthe kids were settled and all Monday school prep was done, eg bags packed uniforms ironed, shoes polished.
Most of my friends have been around for 40 years and the news friend has been in my life for 18 years.

I have been, just got ignored sadly.

Please do not think a small niche of MN posters represents the majority of the population OP. I have a small (6 to be exact) but incredibly close group of friends. We've all got young families, full time jobs and ageing relatives. None of us are rolling in free time. We meet up maybe once a month / every 6 weeks at best. That's subject to intensive planning before and committing diaries about 3 months in advance. Unfortunately I no longer have the free time I once did as a care free 25 year old. And thats ok, neither do my friends. That's part of the reasons why the friendships are so wonderful - we all get we've got busy lives so no-one is guilt tripping anyone about frequency of contact and adding it to the list of "must do better". Frankly that list is already long enough!!

I work FT and usually manage to see all my friends approx once per month. I’ve got a local friendship group, plus 4 individual close friends. I read lots of threads about how important it is, to develop deep friendships just in case you end up bereaved, divorced etc and whilst I agree, it can be hard to fit everything in

I see my best friend at least once a week, my group of closest friends once a month and my school friends every 6 weeks or so

I see my 2 closest friends every weekend, we have a long standing arrangement , we rarely go more than 2 weeks. It’s usually /always at someone’s house though and involves tea and hopefully scandal . Other friends every couple weeks/ months . These are low maintenance friendships tho in the sense we rarely spend money and have no airs and graces, I usually forget my bra and leave it there. 😂 we often wear pjs , it’s about the company not activities or appearances perhaps that’s why it’s easier for us to keep up .

I work with quite a few of my friends so obviously that makes things easier! But I try to meet up with a group every month or so. And I have people over for coffee/a glass of wine.

3-4 times a year does sound like “acquaintance” rather than “best friend”, unless you are doing a lot of texting in between times.

I see my friends a couple of times a week. I work for myself and can be flexible with hours. Most of my friends are either self employed or work part time. We all have older kids (late teens / young adults).

I used to see friends often but rarely do nowadays and I am happy with that. As I have gotten older I realise I just like being in my own house with my partner and see family once or twice a week. Friendships I had since my teens don't mean much to me now, this has been since my parent died and I felt my grief annoyed them. It pretty much killed the friendship

Many of my close friends are in the sports I enjoy, so I see eg boot camp mates on Monday, run club twice a week, swimming now and again, same for cycling. Some are just mates, but others have become close friends and we’ll socialise (less frequently) at other times too.
My youngest child is 16. I’m a lone parent so it was hard for a long time, but now it’s my time again. Huzzah!

It depends what you consider a friend. I could be out every week with school mums, but it's not really my thing, I see them largely as transient relationships with people I know through circumstance, the odd one or two I actually connect with. Lots of my closer long term friends are far flung so we don't see each other all of the time, maybe once a month or so and almost impossible to nail down a group outting without some serious planning and flights. I might go out once a week or so for a drink after work or a lunch at the weekend with work friends, but not every week. I've made some good friend through work because what we do is niche and also very emotionally and psychologically difficult, so you need those bonds to cope. I also usually do a regular exercise class and every other week or so a few of us will get coffee after (not going at the moment for health reasons). So if I classified all of the above as seeing friends it would seem like I saw people all the time, which isn't really the case.

I don’t want to see my friends very much. Maybe once every 2 months is fine with me.
It was different when I was younger but even then I used to sometimes prefer going out on my own.

God, how do you make friends who want to meet at least once a month? I can never find any..My closest friends are very far away.
I do a weekly class but those are more acquaintances.

I guess everyone has different set-ups and ways of being in friendships.

I have a few friends who I see regularly:

A close friend who lives very near to me and I see 3-4 times a week for a cuppa, walk, or quick catchup and we have a regular week night when we try to spend the evening at one of our houses.

A couple of lovely friends who I do a sport with and see on average twice a week for the sport and then usually a catch up afterwards. I'm friends with about 8 others who do the same sport and I see them on and off, at least once a fortnight and we have a cuppa and catch up afterwards if possible.

I have a ride or die friend who I see about once a week.

A few friends- we make up a group of 4 who I see maybe once a month, usually for drinks or coffee. We have a couple of weekends away a year and dinner maybe once every 6 weeks.

Then a handful of friends who I keep in regular contact with and see when I can- maybe once a month.

I'm in fairly constant contact with all these friends via WhatsApp both individually and in groups.

I can do this because I am self employed and have a degree of flexibility to my hours, I am divorced, have late teen kids, an easygoing dog, low housekeeping standards, and choose to prioritise my friendships over other pressing stuff that is on my todo list.

I appreciate my set up would not work for other people, but it works well for me and I am very very grateful for the friendships that I have.

When I split with my husband I was initially devastated but the freedom to spend time with friends who love me as I am has been an absolute joy and a wonderful silver lining. I wouldn't trade them for anything.

I don't really have friends any more, it's more quite a few acquaintances. Some I might meet for coffee or something but outside of family I have no one who would put down what they were doing and come to me if I was in bother. I think having kids with additional needs is a factor as it can be quite isolating and also being a lone parent. When my oldest was young I had a friend I saw often but her health and family situation ended up justifiably taking a lot of her time and now we don't really see each other much at all.