To wonder how on earth people are seeing friends every week

[Cathkidson36]

Even every 2-3 weeks, and to be honest, every month!
I couldn't imagine such a world, these are not all childfree women too. Post on here asking how often you see your friends and you'll get a range of people saying it's the above.

I'm lucky to see any of mine more than a couple of times a year and to get a text back in fewer than 3-4 business days sometimes. None of them live very far either, certainly no more than about an hour!

Am I just not close friendship material? I couldn't imagine any friend wanting to see me that much? I think most people just only see me as an acquaintance sadly.

I have a close group of 5 friends from school days. We connect almost daily on WhatsApp and meet every month on average. I have a few other friends scattered around but nothing major. I maybe see them once or twice a year.

I distanced myself from a lot of mum friends as the kids became teenagers because I became really busy with work. I kind of regret that now. I don't think they would have been 'inner circle' friends but it'd be nice to go out for a drink from time to time. I suppose though, I prioritised the deeper friendships I had. Kind of quality over quantity.

I do worry about getting older and having no friends left but then my MIL started a new life in a new part of the country and has managed to make a whole new group of friends through going to book groups, volunteering and exercise classes. So it's definitely not impossible.

I've got to say, I honestly miss those mad, deep friendships from my teenage years and 20s.

I think this is down to different people having different definition of friends.

To me, a friend is someone you see because you want to, not because you have to.
They are someone you can message to ask for a lift to something you are both going to.
They are someone you'd be happy to give up a few hours to help them into a new house / flat.
They are someone you enjoy spending time with.
It doesn't go any deeper than that.

I have loads of friends, and I think there is a bit of 'chicken and egg' about it..... because I have lots of people I see regularly and enjoy spending time with, I don't rely on one person (or one 'friendship group'), and I'm fine if they can't see me for a while because of other stuff going on in their lives. I don't fall out with people / get jealous of people / have a load of drama in our lives / and I've never 'blocked' anyone in my life. I've got friends I meet up with that I started secondary school with at 11, who are scattered round the country. I've got friends I've known since I started going to my Church 55 years ago. But I've also got friends I've got to know in the last 4 or 5 years. I don't mind what age friends are, or what background they have or what they do for work. I am able to be friends with people who are quite different from me in many ways. I don't see / meet up with all my friends in the same way. Some of these people might see me as a reliable friend they know they could call on if they needed a hand with something. Others might see me as someone who loves a dance or a party. A couple of them know we could go away together and still all get on. Some might phone me when they want someone to listen to a problem they are dealing with. Another might know they can have a good old belly laugh with me. I don't understand people saying '2 friends is enough for me' or - even worse - 'my dh' or 'my mother' or 'my dd' is the only friend I need.

It's not a boast, it's trying to explain that I consider all sorts of people to be my friend, that perhaps someone else might not quantify as a friend.

I often think on all the myriad of threads on MN about friendship, that people seem to have different ideas of how they would define 'friend'.

I see a few friends once every week or so, then I have another 15-20 friends I see for longer much less frequently (like once every few months).

I usually see a friend at least once a week. I'd go mad otherwise.

I've had to work hard and put a LOT in to making and keeping those friendships.

Are you a good listener? Are you thoughtful? Are you good company? Do you make an effort? Do you "click" with these friends? Worth trying to look objectively at what kind of friend you are.

I went out last night with two friends and am now regretting it mightily at work because I wasn't in bed by 9:30 and now I'm knackered.
😂

Noisy neighbour. How do you cope?