To wonder how on earth people are seeing friends every week

[Cathkidson36]

Even every 2-3 weeks, and to be honest, every month!
I couldn't imagine such a world, these are not all childfree women too. Post on here asking how often you see your friends and you'll get a range of people saying it's the above.

I'm lucky to see any of mine more than a couple of times a year and to get a text back in fewer than 3-4 business days sometimes. None of them live very far either, certainly no more than about an hour!

Am I just not close friendship material? I couldn't imagine any friend wanting to see me that much? I think most people just only see me as an acquaintance sadly.

I can't see mine. They all moved to the 4 corners of the globe, I have 2 SEN kids and work full time so I have no time to make new ones. It actually is quite depressing. But I talk daily on whatsapp to them all instead

You don't see your friends because you don't prioritise their friendship OP, which is ok but that's the crux of it.

We meet up as a group every 6 weeks, we get it in the diary before we say goodbye as it's too easy for the weeks to go by. I also meet up for coffee at least once a week with a friend/ neighbour.

I've always done this ,this isn't just because my ds is an adult now. I did it even more when he was little as he worked long hours.

I think it's really important to make rime to see friends especially if you have small kids, those kids will be off to high school before you know it and you'll need a social life.

Before I had DC, I was busy in a different way. I would visit family at least two or three times a month on the weekend. Outside of the visit I would catch up with my sister once or twice a week for coffee and/or movies. I had friends too and went out at least once a month on the weekend. Finally DH and I would have a weekend or two for ourselves within a month too.

Now, with a small DC and full-time work, I have little energy. I try to balance the odd social occasion but not on the same level I was doing pre-DC.

I am not OP but what if people don't want to see me? It's not as simple as not prioritising them.

Actually,that's true. I was coming from a place or presuming the OP didn't meet up due to lack of time, in which case that's a bit shit.

I'm with you! I only have a few friends and friendships seem to melt away or wither with alarming ease. I really, really try. I am a good friend, promise!
I was just brooding on this in my perimenopausal angst... I'm a mum of a primary age DC. I somehow have missed out on making friends when everyone I speak to in my tight knit, densely populated inner city area seems to have a great social life with their neighbours, other school mums, antenatal friends...
Trying to rationalise this: my first error was that I somehow joined an antenatal group with no one from my area in. The second was that I only had one DC so I only got exposed to one set of parents and the ones in my child's year are already palled-up or too busy. There are no post drop-off coffees like I read about here!! Not for me anyway, I go straight to work (at home, so no socialising there either). Virtually everyone else has two DC or more round here. I don't know who all these people having one child are, they certainly aren't here. The third mistake was sending DC to a childminder from age 1-3 thus missing out on early nursery friendships. The fourth, not living on a street with kids my DC's age.
My couple of good friends live out of the city, I don't see them as much as I'd like as one's ill and one's tied up with a new baby.
I'm going to leave the local book club I joined as it's full of women who are all friends and I'm on the periphery feeling like an audience, can't get a word in edgewise anyway.
I'm trying to concentrate on socialising with new (childfree, available, interested) people from meetup and bumble. Having modest success but it's bloody hard with everything else I've got going on!

My best friend moved away and I can't afford to visit her. Train is over £200, and I am on UC.
However, we do meet up in VR a couple of times a week. We play games and have a natter. Is great 😊

Oh bless you that seems hard.
Are you a good friend yourself? There’s a lot on here (not saying that’s you) with really high standards for others’ behaviour, that most people would struggle to meet.
Have you got something to offer? Are you funny/supportive/kind/very interesting? Don’t have to be all but you do have to have something going for you.
If you don’t make friends easily and naturally then persistence is the key. Just keep texting and sending memes and being supportive and suggesting dates to meet up. Persistence can overcome a lot. I’ve recently become friends with a women I’ve known for ten years, simply because she kept going and eventually I realised all the things to like about her. I’ve also made friends through persisting!!

Can't seem to edit my PP...Gosh I am envious of other posters. I'd LOVE to go out for a child free drink or meal with my friends once every three months even. I'd be significantly more relaxed if so. I see one or two people individually sans kids every couple of months but it's harder with a group. A few months ago we tried but couldn't get a date and it fell through. My friends hardly keep in touch via WhatsApp either.
DC starting school meant I went from seeing friends with kids 2 or 3 times a week to 2 or 3 times a year!

I have 3 close friends I speak to on messenger daily. Two live in my town and we are all involved in the same hobby so at the very least I will see them there regularly. We try to meet for lunch or drinks when we can as well though. The other friend lives a good few hours away so we don’t meet up often. I saw her once last year and she’s planning a trip to my town in a couple of weeks which I’m looking forward to.

I think people who don't make regular time for friends will regret it at a certain point unless you're one of the people who genuinely doesn't need social contact

No, it's because they aren't interested despite repeated efforts I've made.

My OP was basically saying I'd love to have people I could meet regularly, but they don't seem to want to!

They don't want to meet YOU, or go out at all?
If the former and you know they are socialising with other people then they aren't your friends. If the latter then maybe you need to find other friends who are able to meet up and wait until the 'no meet' friends are able to.

That’s fair, I think.

Beer Saturday?
7.30?
See you then

Whatever the Mumsnet misanthropes say I don't think it's unreasonable to want to friends that you actually get to meet up with. I think the most important factor is proximity, the friends I see regularly all live within a mile or so.

I think a lot of people are very unsocial. You also get the sort that claim that they are "just so busy" even though you never seem to see any impressive results of their endeavours so I think that's often just an excuse.

I'm trying these apps called Storiboard and Timeleft, you pay a small fee and they basically arrange an event for you and 4 others at a restaurant, bowling etc. And you can select based on mutual interests, personality and so on.
Not sure if it'd work or lead to anything but worth a try, feels sad I have to 'resort' to this but hey ho.
I have tried meetup groups but unless it's women's only you get men there looking to date, which is fine but not looking.

I have had more success with Meetup and FB groups in London than anything else. What I am struggling with is making individual friends in that group. Most people seem to have enough friends.

SATC really gave me the wrong idea about adult friendships! IRL I can never pin people down to regular meets, except for some of my oldest uni friends who have moved away. London is so transient.

That's really shit and I'm sorry they don't value you.

I've met some really lovely people through an evening class/ hobby. Is that something you'd consider?

It depends on your group of friends, most of us have several. People who became friends from work, from kids, from hobbies, friends from uni

The time some posters spend on MN, others prefer face-to-face interraction.

There are friends you see through your hobbie, so a couple of times a week, then once or twice a month for a drink or a meal, but you are in each other's life quite a lot.

Friends you just.. see, there's always at least one evening free a week, even if it's just for a cup of tea for a couple of hours Sunday nights.

I think if you really want a circle of close friends, you need to create it if you are not having one already. Hobbies and volunteering is the way forward: you meet people through a common interest, no awkward conversation, and the ones you really click with, you become friend. It's just organic, and you see each other regularly

I live a very provincial life, both my husband and I grew up within 3 miles of our current home, as did many of our friends - most of whom we have know for at least 20 years. If our kids go to Cubs together, we sometimes go for a drink in that hour. If we are going out for a run, we can finish at each others' homes for a cuppa. Despite this, we still only see each other for an actual conversation twice a month or so, and for a proper lunch out or similar even less. Life is very busy!

I live a very provincial life, both my husband and I grew up within 3 miles of our current home, as did many of our friends - most of whom we have know for at least 20 years. If our kids go to Cubs together, we sometimes go for a drink in that hour. If we are going out for a run, we can finish at each others' homes for a cuppa. Despite this, we still only see each other for an actual conversation twice a month or so, and for a proper lunch out or similar even less. Life is very busy!

make other friends!

People have money problems, childcare problems, priorities, and very low levels of energy: after a day at work, or at the weekend, they just want to slob on the sofa. Some posters are proud to spend all their Sundays in pjs. That's great, but that doesn't scream of a busy social life.

there's an insane amount of posters on MN who need to go to bed at 9pm apparently too.

You need to meet people, ideally through hobby (something you genuinely like) who have a life!