To wonder how on earth people are seeing friends every week

[Cathkidson36]

Even every 2-3 weeks, and to be honest, every month!
I couldn't imagine such a world, these are not all childfree women too. Post on here asking how often you see your friends and you'll get a range of people saying it's the above.

I'm lucky to see any of mine more than a couple of times a year and to get a text back in fewer than 3-4 business days sometimes. None of them live very far either, certainly no more than about an hour!

Am I just not close friendship material? I couldn't imagine any friend wanting to see me that much? I think most people just only see me as an acquaintance sadly.

Me and my friends have a standing arrangement where we meet every Sunday afternoon. We will occasionally miss but it’s usually because we’ve done something Saturday night or if a few of us are away.
There are 8 of us (including 2 of our husbands and kids) but we all just know we meet on a Sunday.

Its genuinely what keeps me sane all week 😂

It varies. I've got one friend that I go out for dinner with roughly every 3-4 weeks. Other friends where we all have kids a meet up as families is more like every few months. A couple of parent fringe from school, we see each other a couple of times a week and we try to do a park date every couple of weeks after school, plus a meal out just the grown ups every couple of months.

My DH has one group of friends he meets up with weekly for a hobby plus once a month for a different hobby (but mostly same guys) plus a roughly monthly meal out. Then a different couple of friends who meet up every couple of months for an evening.

We only have one DD so one or other of us going out in the evening once or twice a week isn't a big deal. We tend to meet up with adult friends in evenings, then weekend is family time and sometimes that includes spending time with family friends too.

I'm very lucky to have several different groups of friends and how I see them depends on who they are:

Best friend from Uni - lives the other side of the country - once or twice a year we meet in London for a day out. May also try to visit for a 'reason' (this year we both had big birthday parties).

Local friends - big group so can dip in and out - share exercise classes with some, walks at the weekend, once a year a weekend away, drinks or dinner at each others houses (not often), 'events' that get booked - so a show, or school PTA event for example.

Ex-colleagues - meet for lunch occasionally in the city where we worked (where I still work). Every so often an ex colleague will organise a bigger event - drinks or dinner with lots of ex-colleagues.

School friends - all over the country. See each other very rarely, but catch up on WhatsApp regularly.

WhatsApp is used A LOT for all groups, which helps keep connections going - the less I 'see' someone (inc WhatsApp), the less I remember what's going on in their lives, so it's harder to keep the connection.

I work FT in a pretty demanding job, but need time to exercise/socialise to keep grounded/sane.

Thats so true. I walk with a friend most weeks

To give an example I have one friend who I last saw 22nd May and I haven't heard from her since.
I just reached out to her and she said 'Might be free 22nd September.'
No enthusiasm whatsoever.

I swear I'm not a really boring or bad person!

I used to be like that, but I have made some new friends associated with a hobby of mine and I now see one of them almost daily (we go for a walk and a chat whilst doing our hobby). The others I see at least once a week, but at hobby meet ups.

That's in less than three weeks. That's quite good going presuming she works Mon-Fri. People do tend to book weekends in advance.

My next available Saturday is 6th December.

If this friend lives in another city I'd get that. If they live locally then I'd write this one off, you're not a priority.

I have different categories of friends. 'Old' friends form school/uni are very spread out so we might catch up annually at most. That takes real planning. The rest are mostly friends I know through sport and exercise, either my own or kids activities, so we see each other several times a week doing that, with occasional social activities thrown in. I mean, working out together or standing on the side of a football/rugby pitch together still counts, right?

It's an hour away, it's not even that it's in 3 weeks but just that I saw her over 3 months ago and haven't heard a word since.

Have you messaged her in that time and she hasn’t replied? Or have you been waiting to see if she will reach out to you?

I see my BF a few times a week. We do a joint hobby twice a week and go for lunchtime walks with the dogs once or twice a week (when working from home).
I have a night out with a larger group of friends around once a month then random meet ups for BBQ’s/ Xmas parties about 4 times a year. I also holiday with one friend and their family once a year.
I could see friends more often if I wanted though as my dc is older and less reliant.

Our kids are older (15, 18 & 21) so we're able to see friends a fair bit - different groups of friends, but I'd say we socialise together (as a couple) with friends at least once a week, and on our own the same amount. I'm quite sociable, and my friends are hugely important to me, and dh is the same. I cherish time on our own together just as much, but I need to see people outside of our immediate family as well.

Some have quite a number of people they consider their friends (e.g. school/uni mates, work mates, mum friends, neighbours, family friends they grew up with etc) so will naturally see friends all the time.

Others (like me) have only a small handful of those they'd call true friends, who they're especially close with. My friends and I are all busy people with our own jobs, lives, and responsibilities, so sometimes it can be a few months before we will meet up in person. I wouldn't say we're any less close because of it - we message fairly regularly still, keep up with what's happening in each other's lives, and I know they'd be there for me if I needed them and vice versa.

Think it also depends on what you're like as people and the friendship dynamics - my friends and I are all very much laid back, type B people, so no one is particularly on top of organising anything 😅

My closest friends live in my village so see them most weeks, either for a cuppa after school on my day off or as whole families at the weekend for dinner or a walk out somewhere. Our wider group we probably see every couple of months where everyone is there.

I also see friends at the gym or work friends catch up at lunchtime.

Depends on the friend! My oldest friend I only see a few times a year but it makes no difference!

I don't have children but see friends about 3 times a week - not the same friends each time of course - various local friend groups. The ones with kids tend to bring their kids along about half the time.
I have friends that live further away, who I might see every few months due to the cost of travelling.

My other problem is that DH is the loneist loner ever on God's earth. So no couple friends.

I see my ‘best’ friend who lives locally about every 2-3 weeks but it could be more or less often depending on what’s going on. It’s rare a month goes by without seeing her. She never had kids and I’ve got 2 adult DC now but we always made time etc. usually WhatsApp at least 1-2 x a week.

Another ‘best’ friend I saw every week when we were SAHMs and DC were little. Now prob once a month but she works f/t (I work p/t so sometimes see friends for lunch if I work in the morning). I think we’d both like it to be more often tbh but we keep in good touch.

Other friends maybe every 2-3 months or even twice a year but really depends on what is going on. Some are just better at keeping in touch for whatever reason. Having DC or not isn’t really a factor tbh.

Most of them we keep in touch via WhatsApp but I have one good friend who is mutual w one of my best friends and is terrible at keeping in touch with both of us. I haven’t seen her for 5 months. No DCs. We used to be a threesome as well so a bit sad. When we see each other it’s great though.

Even though I have health issues which can affect meeting up I make it work and my friends are v accommodating.

It prob evens out to seeing a friend once a week. Obv I have DH so we do stuff together too, plus seeing adult DC too.

Where I used to live I’d see them every week. We have a standing coffee morning leftover from school. There are 8 of us in total, and in a drudge four to five can make it most weeks. Three don’t work but the rest do but can set their hours. I’ve moved 70 miles away but go back down every other month and meet up with them then.
Now I meet one friend about once a month and another who lives a few blocks away about every other week. We go to each others houses for a post work pre dinner drink. Other friends it is more like a couple times a year, but that’s mostly as we don’t live near each other.

How old are you? And are you in a relationship? I felt a bit like you in my 30s, now in my 40s I feel comfortable in the small group of close friends I have (that I dont see THAT often)however i have recently become single and I am starting to see more friends now and make more of an effort. Don't stress about it though, you don't want to force friendships on yourself to find they are completely boring and you're lumbered! Enjoy your own company, be happy with yourself and eventually the right people will get drawn in to you in bet xx

I bet!

Most of my close friends I’ve known since I was a teenager, some even younger from earlier school days. The rest I’ve met through work (mainly my last job which I left in covid times).
I lost touch w uni friends as we were all scattered around the country although a few of us connect on FB.
Also made friends when DC were little from school runs mainly. My social life was great when they were in primary/early secondary, but lost touch w most of them now.
I have a v small family as does dh so friends are v important to me.

Have you tried suggesting a night out with those acquaintances?

It was like this for me in my 20s and 30s. Then I met a new group of friends in my early 40s and we see each other a couple of times a week. Maybe you need different friends?

I think it helps when your acquaintances from things like groups and classes are nearby, you can say stuff like do you fancy a coffee at the local cafe one weekend or a drink at the local pub one evening. It's awkward when they're further afield and there isn't a nearby place you can casually meet up at.