SIL still isolating due to covid risk

[dragontears]

AIBU to think this is no way to live now? She works from home and will only leave the house for essential errands with mask on. She is terrified of getting long covid. Feels like her life is very very limited for a 38 year old!

Anyone else have people they know in this position? How to support them?

wow everanewbie 'sob stories and claims about long covid '? You sound like a nice person

@GapYearSnow

Here it is

https://www.coffi-collaborative.com/post/coffi-consumer-researcher-online-seminar-iv-where-lived-experience-and-science-meet

And I’ve read a scenario where eventually so many people get Long Covid that the world stops functioning properly.

We don’t seem to have much immunity going by repeated infection rates.

Well, would you invite the families of the air India crash to a session talking about a phobia of flying? Or maybe having someone who had a limb amputated after being bitten by a poisonous spider as the lead speaker at an arachnophobia conference?

The person in question is irrationally scared of a virus that is usually not much more than a cold, and vanishingly rarely worse than flu to the point of becoming a recluse and ruining her husbands life. This "its vascular!!!" and I'm the 0.001% who got unlucky, poor me, lets live in our cupboard under the stairs stuff just isn't rational. Sorry if that triggers you. Boohoo.

Crikey you’re a real charmer.

The truth is we just don't know.

The people being cautious may be totally over-reacting; those of us out and about may live to regret it (or not live to regret it ...)

But the wider point is, short of illegality, we are all entitled to respond to things in the way we wish. Yes, there are different considerations where one has children, or even, like this lady, partners it impacts. But it is up to each and every one of us to assess our circumstances and make our own decisions about how much different pursuits and different precautions matter to us.

There's been way too much judging - on this thread and in the wake of Covid generally.

This is insane. You need help. I pity your children.

But she doesn’t have any greater risk of it than anyone else. It’s become an anxiety issue

Do you assess risk by the worst case scenario, irrespective of the probability? It is cold, but its the calculation we do thousands of times a day without realising it. The subject of this thread's ability is all out of whack.

Very similar to family on my street, I'll PM you if that's okay?

I actually do agree with @Thepeopleversuswork re covid providing cover for not engaging with world
and I'm someone who has taken a massive step back from society!!
I can't even book a haircut! the only appt I've had to make and keep was for fucked up teeth- pain being the driver!
I think about meeting up with friends etc but I can't bring myself to do it- I've def become semi-agorophobic- I don't work and my world is small- partner, 2 older teens- that's it. I dread the thought of any social or duty interaction (eg mother's 80th this year) and have managed to avoid everything so far.
On the flip side I do definitely have a series of long-lasting infections which seem to have ramped up since both ovaries removed- as @WitchesofPainswick noted, there does seem to be a menopause link and the last year- since a horrible (as in physical and emotional symptoms) bout of covid I've been relentlessly ill with viral infections
Sorry, this is probably not pertinent to op's SIL issue as hers sounds exclusively psychological.
Not sure what I'm saying really- just that although I'm genuinely unwell from perhaps covid or just viral infections in general, I know I've also let things snowball psychologically which it sounds as though has happened with your SIL and I don't seem to be able to dig myself out- waiting for the magic moment that I feel ok.

Mainstream media has chosen to avoid the topic but there are articles highlighting the research/evidence on cognitive damage, risk of heart attack and strokes, immune system damage, long COVID etc if you look. And over 400,000 peer reviewed papers

Cognitive decline is also what happens when you live alone and don’t interact with others
Your lifestyle is not what is being described.

The DSis doesn’t actually leave the house to go anywhere other than for food shopping.

Also as you point out long term sick leave has risen since 2020

As there is no data we don’t know if this is all because of having Covid or long COVID.

I would think a lot of those long term sick are because all those people who needed to see a doctor, have tests, surgery etc during 2020-2022 didn’t have these tests in good time and weren’t treated immediately but left to the point that a simple operation with maybe 1 night in hospital and a short time off work won’t help them.
Instead they need more invasive operations and a much longer recovery time.

Its also because now people take days off to recover from a cough or cold where in the past they would go in to work.

I have only seen a handful of people wear masks on the street this year. (Apart from cyclists) and they are tourists. You can tell by their style of dress

Yeah I’m wondering what she’s not doing that everyone wants her to do. Maybe it’s showing her face at social events that she doesn’t really enjoy anyway.

Who’s to say what the “correct” way to live is?

this is probably not pertinent to op's SIL issue as hers sounds exclusively psychological.… not sure what I'm saying really- just that although I'm genuinely unwell from perhaps covid or just viral infections in general, I know I've also let things snowball psychologically which it sounds as though has happened with your SIL and I don't seem to be able to dig myself out- waiting for the magic moment that I feel ok

Have you actually seen a doctor for your ‘genuine’ illness and/or viral infections? Have you seen a counsellor?

Seriously, this is no way to live. You must know that ‘waiting for the magic moment’ when you’ll feel ok is pointless - you need to address your issues and act!

Did you read the part about the husband having to wear a mask for 48 hours and sleep in the spare room if he goes to the pub? People can do what they want, but when they start controlling others....

Yes they are. My Mum caught one of the ‘mild’ strains last year, nearly died, was in hospital for ten weeks and now has long covid.

I got LC from Omicrom 2 years ago.

68 m worldwide have it.

Ok that's concerning. What would happen if he refused?

Except that what most Covid conscious (aka those who have developed LC from Covid) do…
It’s like, as they have actually felt themselves the huge impact Covid can have, they do their utmost to avoid it at all cost.

I don’t expect my dh to do that because I don’t have the energy for the fight. But having caught Covid twice because he didn’t make any effort to avoid Covid, I now have some air filters in place instead. But I know that, despite seeing me bedbound for years following a covid infection, he doesn’t care enough about my health to wear a mask, at the very least in very high risks situations like a plane journey. It’s hard to forget.

Thank you for this
Yes, I have seen the GP- had bloods and nothing obvious, which I'm grateful for, but they didn't take it further and I didn't push.
I don't know what to do about the illnesses and I've never been one for health anxiety.
Certainly I have a degree of people anxiety which is inevitably ramping up with my lifestyle and I totally admit to a psychological element to all this- whether it preceded physical illness or proceeded it, I'm not sure!!
Thank you, thank you for telling me to act- I need a kick up the bum!! I love spontaneous social interaction- with my neighbour, a shopkeeper, another middle aged woman walking solo in the woods! And I see how mental health feeds into our perception of illness perhaps.
I accept that the magic moment isn't just going to present itself!

My thoughts exactly. All this will do is raise anxious, paranoid children.

I find it interesting how everyone jumps on the COVID cautious and are quick to accuse them of having a mental illness. It's not anxiety. It's applying a knowledge of science and the precautionary principle. I live my life, just with a mask in places that carry risk, just like I wear a bike helmet on my bike or my seatbelt in the car. Is it so difficult to let people wear a mask because they want to?

@PaxAeterna The fact that you think hand sanitizer will keep us safe from COVID shows you don't understand how it transmits. It's primarily airborne.

I mitigate against car crashes by wearing a seatbelt. I mitigate against COVID with a mask. I'm not social distancing. My elder son goes to school. The only thing we don't do is dine indoors.

Why would you risk "mild" long COVID on your child if there are simple things to reduce risk? Also it's not just long COVID, children are also at heightened risk of diabetes following infection, vascular damage, cognitive decline, those exposed in womb are more likely to experience development delays. Why not take simple precautions? Instead of suggesting I get talking therapy, how about not judging people who want to keep their children healthy while still offering them a normal life? I know I can't avoid infection 100% but I'm going to try my hardest to make sure my family doesn't get it more than necessary because each infection carries risk.

@Tiredjusttired you mention asthma. You know what's just become the top chronic disease in American children: Asthma. Guess what triggers asthma? COVID infections.
Please don't peddle the myth that getting exposed to viruses builds immunity. Exposure to dirt, yes, but not viral pathogens. Or how do you choose which viruses are safe to expose yourself too, why don't you expose yourself to HIV to build your immunity to it? After all the initial symptoms are a fever and cold symptoms... same with polio...

There are longitudinal studies that shows that children who had more respiratory infections in early childhood had worse long term health outcomes. So infection is not beneficial.

It's easier for people to ignore the evidence, than accept that maybe it's not wise to let their children get infected by COVID repeatedly, with all the consequences of that. And this herd mentality allows continued infection and a gradual diminishment of our population's health.

Chill out, its a cold.

From what I gather you haven’t ended all social contact?

Well it wasn’t a cold for me.

But you keep doing you and chilling out.