SIL still isolating due to covid risk

[dragontears]

AIBU to think this is no way to live now? She works from home and will only leave the house for essential errands with mask on. She is terrified of getting long covid. Feels like her life is very very limited for a 38 year old!

Anyone else have people they know in this position? How to support them?

No l agree.

l do go out, but just avoid crowds and my family test every other day.

l was just saying that l would be trying to avoid long covid too

To all those who have responded to say that they have long covid or are taking precautions due to conditions that may make them more vulnerable to getting covid/long covid - please don't think that I am minimizing your realities. I know that long covid can be very serious and debilitating, and I agree that it is wise for immunosuppressed people to take sensible precautions. In the case of my SIL, I just think that an otherwise healthy 38 year old woman should be out there living her life.

That’s no way to live.

Yes it’s true that she MAY contact Covid abx get long Covid, but it’s also true she may get run over going to the shops, or have a car accident, or get cancer

I think all you can do is support your brother. He's really the only one whose intervention here is likely to have any impact. I think you need to keep talking to him.

I think she probably knows she has a problem as she will know almost everyone else is living their life normally now. I think the only thing that will help is therapy or CBT from a professional, but she needs to want to address it. It does sound a sad way to live if she doesn’t have any medical problems. She will be missing out on holidays, birthday parties and other family occasions

Thank you. I will keep working on this!

Unfortunately some medical professionals scared the crap out of people who already had health anxiety. She definitely needs to speak to someone about it.

My mum's still petrified of catching it because her consultant told her she would die due to her immunosuppressive medication. Not could, would. He no longer works for the trust but the damage is done. She still won't sit inside at a restaurant, go to the supermarket or go to a retail park unless it's 7pm and dead. She's not even taking the drug any more!

Does she also have all the up to date Covid vaccines?
Stay away from crowded indoor spaces?
Wear a mask when in crowds?
Wash her hands when coming inside from a public adventures?
Suggest relatives with a cold take a Covid test before coming to visit?

If she is doing all those things and also keeping to herself in fear it is a bit sad.
Realistically she might enjoy life more if she takes some precautions and then relaxes.

Sounds like it morphed into an Agoraphobia situation, not much you can do if she doesn’t think it’s a problem.

Poor woman.

Also, are new cases of long covid a thing? I thought by now most of us have probably had it at least once, is it something you can develop after your second or third infection?

Certainly, because DH works in an environment where Covid spreads like wildfire, we have sadly both had it a few times. And there's no doubt that either becuase we've had it so many times or perhaps becuase we're a bit vulberable, when we get it, we tend to take a few weeksk to recover fully. But nonetheless, touch wood, even with all thse infections we've had and the frustration of the longer recover, we haven't got long covid and I just assumed it was becuase if you're likely to get long covid, you get it from the start?

So hard to watch them living in fear, isn't it.

No, it’s not something that only occurs after someone’s first covid infection.

That's a bit depressing considering how often DH and I have had it, and likely will again.

I am convinced that in 10-30 years time we are going to see increased heart and lung disease as a result of Covid. And I worry about those of us who have had it more often. But, I still can't stop living my life, and neitehr can DH.

She doesn't go out all, except for walks or essential health appointments. She wears a mask whenever she is out of the house, even for exercise.

Firstly, did she ever get COVID?

Secondly the most you can do is be straight and tell her it's a problem. That it's not normal behaviour and the impact it will have on her life and others. Obviously be tactful and come from a place of support and concern.
After that if she doesn't want to change, there's nothing you can do.

Really hard. I feel so awful for my dad. He loved going abroad but he'll never get her on a plane again. They're only 70.

I got it the second time after a mild infection. There was nothing wrong with me at all when l got it.

Its just insidious and creeps into all the vulnurable areas.

No, she has never had covid, so fear of the unknown is part of the issue too, I suspect!

"you can't help someone who doesn't think they need help."

sadly this.

It sounds as though she has a mental illness similar to agoraphobia, and she just happens to be focusing on long covid.

Are people still getting long covid from the most recent variants? The only people I know with LC got it early on (and are still struggling 4-5 years later).

She needs help for her anxiety. Will she talk about it with you or anyone?

She might never get long COVID but the way she is living, long Covid would probably be less restrictive

What about things like dementia or all the other things that come with this sort of lifestyle.

At this point I think psychiatric therapy is needed

What does she think is happening in the rest of the world.
I actually think it is quite arrogant. She won’t expose herself to any risks but she expects food to be in the supermarket and other people to do their jobs so that she can have this no risk lifestyle.
Even if she watches TV. Unless she only watches programmes from pre 2020. How do you think they got to her screen.
How does she think the rest of the company she works for operates.
Why does she feel she can act this way?

I am immunocompromised because of the drugs I take for a life long condition. I had to shield and still get the vaccination twice a year. There is a half way house that enables you to live life. I always carry antibacterial hand gel and use it regularly. I always carry a mask but only use it if someone close by is coughing badly. I fly but always wear a mask on the plane. If it’s long haul I change masks regularly. I live life normally but take these sensible and I think proportionate measures. I really have to avoid any respiratory infections not just Covid and doing this really helps.