SIL still isolating due to covid risk

[dragontears]

AIBU to think this is no way to live now? She works from home and will only leave the house for essential errands with mask on. She is terrified of getting long covid. Feels like her life is very very limited for a 38 year old!

Anyone else have people they know in this position? How to support them?

Very sadly our family is a similar position. Similarly aged family member, lives alone, no underlying health conditions, doesn't leave home unless essential (everything possible done from home), no visitors, no friends (including family permitted to visit). Absolutely refuses to acknowledge anything is wrong...it's like they are sitting at home waiting to die in a few decades time.

Well so long as it was for you that's all that matters I guess?

I'm sorry to hear that, but it's also a quite different scenario to the one OPs DB is in.

It matters what SILs response would be if he decided that actually, he wants to choose whether to wear a mask or not in his own home. The same goes for anyone living with someone who sets rules for them about what precautions they have to take, actually. Whether they're free to disagree and make their own decisions about their body and home, what would happen if they were to do so.

You're the unfortunate one. I'm sorry it happened to you. But you are that person that died of an ingrowing toe nail, that person who has been struck by lightening, that choked on a nut in a piece of cake. Don't think that your rare occurrence is typical, and that people should base their lives on your unfortunate, yet unlikely experience.

The Face Mask Store, online. Huge range.

Governments have a lot to answer for in terms of the psychological damage they have caused people. It's almost like they were trying to create this kind of long term disability.

Op, your SIL needs to see a psychiatrist obviously, she is suffering from a mental health disorder, as are others including some on this thread.

I imagine it will only come to a head if your DB puts down his foot, but maybe not even then.

No I haven't. But apparently I need therapy because I wear a mask.

But there’s 68 million worldwide.

So not that rare

She has the right to live her life how she sees fit. If she isn't unhappy with doing this then leave her be.

Using hand sanitiser and avoiding soft play is fine

I mean, hand sanitiser isn't really ok, before covid people were being told that using it commonly was just a way to create nastier germs, and should be avoided except in very specific situations.

Hand washing with normal soap is more effective anyway.

I sometimes wonder if people realise that lack of exposure to germs is also associated with certain illnesses, like childhood cancers. Or that there are plenty of other common viruses which sometimes have long term effects, like mono, which we have always lived with.

You wearing a mask because you believe you are at risk is up to you, obviously.

The op's sil sounds like she has agoraphobia and is using covid as an excuse to avoid any social contact.

They are 2 very different situations and the op's sil needs to see a hcp to get to the bottom of it.

68,000,000 / 8,142,000,000 x100 = 0.84%

If your figure is correct, and it is a big if, after all "Long Covid" is a diagnosis of exclusion, with no test other than a collection of symptoms, and largely self-reporting it represents less than 1% of the worlds population. Yes, possibly more prevalent than my examples, but I'd say there are worse things to be worried about, like, becoming a social recluse curtailing a full existence.

Yes, but I'm not sure she has the right to force her husband to wear a mask for 48 hours and stay in the spare room every time he leaves the house.

The difference really is between the rules a grown adult has for themselves and what they expect others to observe. The latter is more of an issue.

Well yes, but as free as SIL to behave like this, OP (and discussion participants) is still allowed to have an opinion on it. Its a bit like free speech. Yes you can say it, but it doesn't mean I have to agree.

Surely if your kid goes to school then they get covid every time it goes around, regardless of whether you also go to restaurants and wear a mask in other places or not.

Did you mean to quote me? Because it appears we're in agreement about rights over one's own body versus expectations of others.

There’s no need to be so aggressively unpleasant. But if you will persist at least check your facts.

Taking your example of a person with long Covid being a “rare occurrence’ like a person being struck by lightning:

On average there are 30 people annually struck by lightning in the UK. With a population of 69 million people, that does indeed make it a rare occurrence with it only affecting 0.0004% of the population.

Reported long Covid cases (lasting more than 1 year) in the UK shows that it affects 2.9% of the population so approx 2 million people.

2 million people with long Covid vs 30 people struck by lightning. Does that make long Covid a rare occurrence? No.

Out of interest, it’s estimated that 3% of the UK adult population has ADHD (with 7% of the UK population being neurodivergent). So the occurrence of ADHD in the UK is on a par with the occurrence of long Covid. So if long Covid is a “rare occurrence”, that will mean ADHD is too. Someone better tell the Daily Mail. 😜

It was reported last year (2024) in the New York Times (article is behind a paywall) that according to researchers 400 million people globally have had long Covid.

400 million!😲

And yet people keep pretending it doesn’t matter.

Post viral illness is very common true.

If you get glandular fever you might feel unwell for ages even years but no-one calls it long glandular fever it's just the after effects of illness can affect some more than others.

That poster is in denial and not worth arguing with. I've given up.

I don’t think that many people have got glandular fever syndrome.

Why are you trying to deny it?

This this this.

People get illnesses like this following viruses all the time. It is not strange. It is not new. I had ongoing effects from mono for over a year in my early 20s, as have many other people.

And the numbers for long covid are not nearly exact, it's basically people self-reporting symptoms, there is no test, and it doesn't have to be all that long, or all that debilitating - not to the degree people seem to think.

I think about 5 out of every 1000 get glandular fever. About 90% of people contract the virus in the first place.