Mum is flying abroad before my due date

[Cupcake9753679]

I am due on the first of November, my mother promised she would book off 2 weeks when I give birth to help me following child birth. I already have a 3yr old who refuses to stay with anyone but me, my husband or my mum. He has never stayed the night away from my husband or I and has a great bond with my mother.
I have no other family around that can watch my son, I have some siblings but they are too young and my husbands family live hours away.
the issue is, my mother wants to see her grandmother abroad who is on her death bed and won’t return until the 24th of October. Cutting this very close, I told her that without childcare my husband would have to be with my little one during labour and I’d have to take my younger sister with me to the hospital and told her that I would need someone with experience.
ultimately she has said don’t worry and that I would be over due and she would be back in time. I told her to just book the tickets because it sounded as though she has already made up her mind. I am heartbroken that at my most vulnerable time she is going abroad,Am I being unreasonable?

edit: I understand the need for my mum to go see her grandmother in such a serious situation and support her mother but I feel as though her promises to me were broken yet again

YABVU

life doesnt revolve around you

Edited! Typed too quickly-

Is there really any other family that can have your son when you’re giving birth? Anyone at all?

If her grandmother is on her deathbed, I’m afraid this takes precedence. What if your Mum never gets to see her again? Plus it seems as though you have asked her to help you out after the birth - so she won’t be able to go for a long time afterwards. Better that she goes before as she may not get the chance if she delays.

Ultimately it sounds like you’ve got a perfectly good plan B - you husband looking after your 3 yo and younger sister goes with you. You will have many people with experience with you - the midwife, drs and and nurses. You don’t need “experience” in your birth partner, you just need a friendly face and a bit of moral support - in truth you don’t absolutely have to have a birth partner.

Now I know we all want to have someone with us - and it’s surely good if you can (which you do!) - but it doesn’t take precedence over someone on their death bed. Especially as your Mum will very likely be back in time!

It isn’t as though she’s having a carefree holiday. This is to say farewell to a loved one.

Yabvu and selfish.

Her grandmother is dying, she can’t get that time back. I don’t think you do get it at all.

She’s going abroad to see her dying grandmother. Sorry but that has to take priority. You have your DH, your sister and midwives/doctors, and the chances are she’ll be back in time anyway.

Oh dear, of course you want your mum there. She needs to make that last visit to her gran, but why does it have to then? Can she not go sooner, and return sooner?
Also, if your sister is old enough to accompany you to the hospital, she must be at least in her teens. Get her used to looking after your DC now, so that she can help out if necessary when the time comes.

Your grandmother is dying. Your mum might not see her again.

Frankly, one way or another you can suck it up.

My mother did this before the birth of my first and it worked out just fine. It's likely it will for you too. From her pov, the baby will be there when she gets back but this is maybe the last chance to see her family member alive.

You have plenty of time to get your child comfortable with someone else. I'd focus on that. You don't need to change the plan if your mother is back on time either.

My DH was the one who stayed home and helped me after our babies were born. Can your DH take a couple of weeks off work to be home to help look after you post-birth?

Her promises to you were not broken.

Her grandmother is dying imminently and she needs ti support her mother through that as well as herself. It is incredibly unfortunate that the timing coincides with your due date but that is not something she can control.

You have your DH who can take care of your sibling and child if your mum is not back in time, it isn’t what you hoped for, I understand that and that you are disappointed but she can’t change the situation, she just has to make the best decision she can in this moment.

You have a few months to get your son used to staying with another family member or even a friend, a mini-sleepover.

Another option, only if you're comfortable with it, is to consider a home birth. You'd still need someone there to focus on your 3 year old, but my kids that age were always quite comfortable being there when their sibling arrived.

I can’t believe how selfish you’re being. 😳

Get a GRIP.

Your 3 year old will have to cope with his FATHER. You either go to the hospital alone or take your younger sister.

Your entitlement and selfishness is astounding, especially given the reason your Mum is travelling. Even without this reason, you chose to have another child, you deal with it!!!

I say this at 37+ weeks pregnant.

You’ve really lost sight of reality. Think about this post and how selfish you are.

She’s seeing her dying relative

why can’t sister Aka Aunty stay with your son and dh go with you ?

how young is she ? Old old enough to be supportive to you in hosp so I would swap them over

equally he’s 3. A child. He doesn’t decide who he stays with when an event like this is happening

he refuses ?

he’s a kid.

you have 2mths for him to get used to other people looking after him

Her mum is on her death bed and you think childcare is her priority? Wow!
You need to make emergency provision. A neighbour, a school friend, a colleague , anyone. Your poor mum!

You're being really selfish. Don't try and guilt trip your mum anymore. Tell her you will be fine and tell her you are sorry for what she is going through.

You don’t need your mum for the two weeks after the birth. That’s the time for you and your husband and your 3 year old to bond as your own little family. Once your husband’s gone back to work, you may want her help but she’ll be back by then (though bear in mind, she might be grieving, so don’t take her for granted).

It’s the birth itself that’s the problem, isn’t it? Of course, you want your husband with you for that.

How old is your younger sister? Could she babysit just for the hours of the birth until your husband gets home? There’s time to get your daughter used to her babysitting. That could be a contingency plan in case you go into labour early.

her mother is dying and you are upset she won't forgo seeing her mother one last time so your life doesn't get a bit more complicated? Wow.

Her mother is dying May woman have to do it alone. Men to off to war, can't get there in time. I'm sure mom would like to help but death is a pretty good reason for not being there

Get your son ready to be happy with others. Start talking to him about it now. Can your in-laws come to stay or one of your siblings could babysit. You have options.

How self centered

Are you 18 and your younger siblings in their early teens?

Your sister will just be there as support, she's not going to deliver the baby herself FFS!

Or she's babysits and DH comes with

Get your 3 year old used to being with other people. You have time

Dying grandmother takes priority here, sorry OP.