Mum is flying abroad before my due date

[Cupcake9753679]

I am due on the first of November, my mother promised she would book off 2 weeks when I give birth to help me following child birth. I already have a 3yr old who refuses to stay with anyone but me, my husband or my mum. He has never stayed the night away from my husband or I and has a great bond with my mother.
I have no other family around that can watch my son, I have some siblings but they are too young and my husbands family live hours away.
the issue is, my mother wants to see her grandmother abroad who is on her death bed and won’t return until the 24th of October. Cutting this very close, I told her that without childcare my husband would have to be with my little one during labour and I’d have to take my younger sister with me to the hospital and told her that I would need someone with experience.
ultimately she has said don’t worry and that I would be over due and she would be back in time. I told her to just book the tickets because it sounded as though she has already made up her mind. I am heartbroken that at my most vulnerable time she is going abroad,Am I being unreasonable?

edit: I understand the need for my mum to go see her grandmother in such a serious situation and support her mother but I feel as though her promises to me were broken yet again

You’re a grown woman and mother yourself so it’s time you started relying less on your own mum to look after you. Your Grandma needs her more than you do!

My view is that once the kids leave home, they need to fend for themselves unless it’s an absolute emergency and in this case, your DH can stay home if you haven’t sorted out an alternative. However, you’ve still got plenty of time to sort out a babysitter.

But it’s not about OP seeing her GREAT grandmother. It’s about OP’s mum wanting to see her own grandmother. Trying to distance the relationship by referring to GREAT doesn’t make your point any more valid and if anything only shows how self centred it is.

Op isn’t coming back it seems

Ironically the OP values her sons close bond with his grandmother but doesnt respect her own mothers right to see her grandmother on her death bed.

Yes it wasn’t lost me that’s the viewpoint PamBeesley was getting at too.

My first baby, the first child in the family. I was extremely high risk and everything was going wrong.
My entire family except my husband went abroad for two weeks, two days before my due date. Sibling, grandparents, aunties everyone.
My in-laws were leaving day after my due date.
I gave birth with just my husband and I can tell you it was so peaceful getting those first two weeks entirely to ourselves!
Dying grandma trumps giving birth.

What everyone else has said. And if the babe arrives early, don't you dare try to manipulate or guilt your mother into leaving her dying grandmother to support you instead!

Wow!!! What everyone else said. But I was already blown away by the fact that your mum works and she’s taking two weeks to come and help you?!? Wtf. That’s half her annual leave!!! I’m kinda horrified at how I imagine you treat your poor mum.

I do think you need to get your son used to being looked after by other family members so you can ride-out this sort of ad-hoc event. We've had two unexpected deaths in DH's family since DC was born, and both times we were able to drop off DC with my sibling, and just go to be where we were needed, without it being a big drama for DC because they're already used to it. Honestly DC thinks sleepovers with without Mummy & Daddy are the best thing ever, which might have something to do with being spoiled rotten while they're there!

If she is on her deathbed already, why isn't she booking for sooner?

I do think seeing a loved one before death is more important than having your first choice of birth partner, but I'd be annoyed that she is going then rather than earlier, and annoyed that she dismissed it with a 'you'll be overdue',, which she can't possibly know particularly for a second birth

I’m not sure why people are saying you’re self centred when you aren’t due until November so your mum literally has any other time before then to go and see her grandmother!

Unless there is a valid reason she can’t go before then, then YANBU. My mum booked a holiday that arrived back when I was 39 weeks and I will never forget that she did that, luckily my in laws took my child as I ended up having a c section before she was back.

although I would say, if she isn’t around, your son should just stay with another family member, he’ll be fine. Your husband should come with you, your 3 year old can deal with missing you for a night and you can choose someone now to start getting him used to them.

Agreed, being dictated to by a child is daft and asking for problems unless there are ND issues present and then obviously allowances need to be made.

When she promised to be around then did she know her grandmother was so unwell? It sounds like things have changed then.

Morning, everyone. It looks like the OP won't be returning to the thread to answer any of the comments. Given that, we're going to close it to new posts now. Thank you to everyone who took the time to offer advice.