Page 5 | Do people not like me cos of my weight?

Sozsoz · 2025-08-31T13:42:37+00:00

I am 10 stone overweight and although I have friends I’m never really included in the group stuff and I just feel like I’m no one’s favourite person, I’m liked but overlooked and left out I don’t know if it’s because of how I look or is it the person I am? I try my best to get on with people I try and be a good friend and there for them. this weekend iv had a downward spiral as I can see lots of people iv been friends with over the years all together and it’s just never me invited or included. I’m 44, is it too late to change the narrative

Delphiniumandlupins · 31/08/2025 21:38

forthistimeonly · 31/08/2025 19:02

@Comedycook
Just asking as I just don't know how anyone can become 10 stone overweight. I'm curious. I weigh 7.7 stone and have done since my teens. Went up to 8stone 3 and 8 stone 5 when pregnant. Back to normal after about 8 weeks with my daughter and 4 weeks with my son.
I'm just interested in how someone can put on so much weight as I've never know anyone to do so.
I've struggled with mental health - I have diagnosed PTST, severe anxiety, depression and ADHD, plus epilepsy.
I'm just curious how one doesn't go on a diet once they become overweight.
As I've said, I don't know anyone who is obese. I've got friends who have been overweight but they sorted it.

Why don't you just cheer up and sort your mental health out? You could decide to be happier as easily as the OP could decide to lose weight.

HappyNewTaxYear · 31/08/2025 21:45

Sozsoz · 31/08/2025 20:44

Hmm this is interesting I wonder if I do this without realising what kind of things did she do

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I’m trying to remember… one was a day trip with some other people, all arranged and then she cancelled. Lots of cancellations when she realised there might be a walk to the car park. She would promise to do things for other people and then not do them, I think a lot of that was that she was incredibly tired for much of the time and may well have had sleep apnoea.

She would talk about sport as if she did it in her spare time (she really couldn’t, she had a lot of difficulty getting about). Sometimes she’d criticise people for having second helpings if we were out eating together.

It’s hard to explain without sounding judgy, and I don’t want to, because I really believe that she had an eating disorder or food addiction or whatever you call it. It wasn’t a case of just enjoying your food a little bit too much over a long period of time until you’re too heavy. Her size significantly affected her life for the worse in every way.

wizzywig · 31/08/2025 21:45

forthistimeonly · 31/08/2025 21:07

@HesarealJacquelineHigh I just wonder how people put on so much weight and don't tackle it before they get to TEN STONE overweight? That's me and a half!

OK, so what are all the things that you have done to tackle your myriad of mh problems? Have they worked? You are slim, well travelled, hve kids and have 1k online friends. Why do you have anxiety and depression etc? Youre winning at life on paper. Please share your secret for success

HappyNewTaxYear · 31/08/2025 21:58

That poster was giving away mounjaro codes earlier this year so maybe that’s how she’s maintaining the 7 and a half stone 😉

Shinyandnew1 · 31/08/2025 22:00

I am perhaps a bit moany and I let people down a lot cos of my weight

Can you give some examples? Are you flaking and cancelling because you are out of breath? Sore joints? How are you letting them down because of your weight?

Original poster

Sozsoz · 31/08/2025 22:09

HappyNewTaxYear · 31/08/2025 21:45

I’m trying to remember… one was a day trip with some other people, all arranged and then she cancelled. Lots of cancellations when she realised there might be a walk to the car park. She would promise to do things for other people and then not do them, I think a lot of that was that she was incredibly tired for much of the time and may well have had sleep apnoea.

She would talk about sport as if she did it in her spare time (she really couldn’t, she had a lot of difficulty getting about). Sometimes she’d criticise people for having second helpings if we were out eating together.

It’s hard to explain without sounding judgy, and I don’t want to, because I really believe that she had an eating disorder or food addiction or whatever you call it. It wasn’t a case of just enjoying your food a little bit too much over a long period of time until you’re too heavy. Her size significantly affected her life for the worse in every way.

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Yeah I do cancel stuff mainly cos I feel and look like shit

OP posts:

hobbledyhoy · 31/08/2025 22:12

HesarealJacquelineHigh · 31/08/2025 21:25

If you’ve always been around 7 stone and don’t know anyone with weight problems, why would you have had any need to be giving out your mounjaro discount on a mounjaro thread? How were you even eligible to get your own discount code at your weight?

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Chefs kiss 😂

Original poster

Sozsoz · 31/08/2025 22:13

ThatNattyPlayer · 31/08/2025 21:24

I’m overweight and it’s made me very self conscious and nervous about going out, I have lost quite a few friends(thin friends and overweight friends) from cancelling plans, it’s not that they don’t like me, it’s that I’m an unreliable friend and they give up putting up with me and I kind of don’t blame them
i won’t go into the reasons why I’ve gained so much weight but it is easily done by many people, don’t beat yourself up too much.

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I think your right it’s so hard to be reliable as actually my life is dominated by food

I have taken my first jab tonight and will work at consistently taking my adhd meds too I hope that will help me

OP posts:

Letsgoroundagainnow · 31/08/2025 22:16

Sozsoz · 31/08/2025 22:13

I think your right it’s so hard to be reliable as actually my life is dominated by food

I have taken my first jab tonight and will work at consistently taking my adhd meds too I hope that will help me

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Well done!

Positive steps!

Original poster

Sozsoz · 31/08/2025 22:24

Blondeshavemorefun · 31/08/2025 21:35

some of these replies astound me

how did you put on the weight
how can you weigh so much
how do you be 10s overweight

how rude !!

if op was anything like me , weight creeps on over years

can be various reasons

Contentment with a new partner and meals out - break up and comfort eat - IVF or other drugs - holiday and gain 7lbs - Etx etc

its easy to gain. Harder to lose

@Sozsoz I agree with some replies that maybe as you cancel, you get cancelled. Equally as some may be dealing with their own shit, they can’t deal /dont have time for someone else’s emotional shit

maybe try some hobbies and meet new people 💐

I have looked into dog classes I’m trying to see what else there could be I don’t have a great deal of confidence

OP posts:

forthistimeonly · 31/08/2025 22:35

@HesarealJacquelineHigh that was on behalf of a friend of a friend who actually wasn't obese, just a bit overweight. One month and she's normal weight now.

ChaToilLeam · 31/08/2025 22:38

OP, I'm heavy too, not 10 stone overweight it is true, but I've always been overweight. I have friends of all different shapes and sizes, if your friends love you they will not care about your size.

If you are flaky though, that's offputting. If you keep cancelling, people will think you don't want to spend time with them and cease to invite you.

I hope you can build your confidence, and enjoy life more.

ThatNattyPlayer · 31/08/2025 22:38

Sozsoz · 31/08/2025 22:13

I think your right it’s so hard to be reliable as actually my life is dominated by food

I have taken my first jab tonight and will work at consistently taking my adhd meds too I hope that will help me

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Well done on your first steps, hope it works out for you

Letsgoroundagainnow · 31/08/2025 22:39

forthistimeonly · 31/08/2025 22:35

@HesarealJacquelineHigh that was on behalf of a friend of a friend who actually wasn't obese, just a bit overweight. One month and she's normal weight now.

Well then why was she on WLI, were her “friends”putting her under immense pressure due to her weight? So much so she had to lie to get the jabs?

She needs better friends.

BTW, I don’t for one second believe you!

GoldPoster · 31/08/2025 22:45

This probably won’t go down well here. But you don’t seem to be happy with it and it is limiting you, so have you considered doing something about your weight? You could see your GP and maybe weight loss injections are an option.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 31/08/2025 22:45

Gosh, this thread has been harsh.
OP, I'm sorry that you are being left out.
I hate to harp on about anonymous groups, but I will today.
Can you access an overeating anonymous group online, not to magically be thin, because you'll meet like minded people who have been through this, and support you with an understanding that is hard to find. 💖
Good luck.

lifeisgoodrightnow · 31/08/2025 22:49

There’s things to help sort your weight now. Wouldn’t you be happier if weight wasn’t holding you back ? Isn’t it worth considering?

glittercunt · 31/08/2025 22:56

I'm nearly as overweight as you, I'm about 8 over the recommended top weight band for my height etc.

I've got and have had friends who are as big or bigger than me, my partner is 23/24st. And it brings smells with it.

It's the only thing that has made me not want to spend time with (or be intimate with) them - unless they've turned out to be a c*nt.

It's specifically the front and back bottom areas - even when you've showered properly with a proper soap bar, and put on fresh clean clothes, we quickly become moist down there, peri-anal sweat is gross.

It's what gives larger people that 'fat person smell' (worse in the folks who avoid proper showers and who rewear clothes).

Some might think it sounds harsh laying out like this but I've told my friends, I'd want to know if I needed a freshen up - because finding out people were uncomfortable socialising with me because of my hygiene would be more upsetting.

Those of us with adhd self medicate with food and have no off switch. I am hoping to access the pens because I'm very physically disabled ((my weight went on after my accident).

renovatedlady · 31/08/2025 22:57

forthistimeonly · 31/08/2025 22:35

@HesarealJacquelineHigh that was on behalf of a friend of a friend who actually wasn't obese, just a bit overweight. One month and she's normal weight now.

Lies. You can’t get the medication unless you are obese.

renovatedlady · 31/08/2025 23:04

i worked with a large lady at work (I believe about 15st oberweight). A lot of negative feeling towards her was because she was seen as being lazy. She didn’t do her share of coffee runs. Avoided taking post to the post room. People felt that she needed and was happy for others to take care of her in all manor of ways. Just mentioning in case this is a possibility.

But like others I think the cancelling will be the bigger issue. It drives me insane especially when I have arranged things - and also makes me feel paranoid. I now refuse to organise anything outside of one to ones. And with one to ones I’ve had a friend this week cancel something that was arranged ages ago. In her case she has a habit of bailing when she gets a better offer. It makes me feel crap and that’s it - she’s off my list of friends now.

Blondeshavemorefun · 31/08/2025 23:09

Sozsoz · 31/08/2025 22:24

I have looked into dog classes I’m trying to see what else there could be I don’t have a great deal of confidence

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Bless you

dog classes or dog walking could be a way to meet friends

and seen your reply about jabs and had first one

well done for taking steps 💐

HappyNewTaxYear · 31/08/2025 23:14

Sozsoz · 31/08/2025 22:09

Yeah I do cancel stuff mainly cos I feel and look like shit

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Poor you OP. You sound so unhappy 😢

I think there are many threads about weight loss and jabs etc on this site, find them and you will get support. There’s a saying in a lot of the 12-step groups (alcoholics anonymous etc) which is ‘Take what you like and leave the rest’. That’s the best advice with some of the posters on here!

FurForksSake · 31/08/2025 23:27

I’ve known and worked with some morbidly obese people and have had a bmi up to 32/33. I have never known them smell or for fat people to have a smell. I’ve also worked as an allied health professional and met hundreds or thousands of patients and again no peri anal sweat smells.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 31/08/2025 23:37

You come across as a lovely person, I hope you feel better soon. 💕

JLou08 · 31/08/2025 23:39

I really doubt that it is anything to do with your weight. I'm slim, I have friends of different sizes and none of them are choosing who to spend time with based on weight. Thinking about it, it is one of the overweight ones who has the most friends and busiest social life.