Day out friends..they left to go to diff restaurant on their own

[TFICoffeetime]

Met up with close friends yesterday. We live opposite sides country. We picked scenic village, countryside & meal at a nice country inn.
We were 40 mins late (it's 2.5 hrs for us) 1 hour drive for us & got caught in traffic then stopped once to let DD go to the toilet & stretched dogs legs so she'd wee. All communicated with friends. We arrived, had lovely stroll, river swim and meal at nice country inn with great views. They had booked the meal...we thought lovely place. But when we got there they said they had to leave at 5.30 to go to another restaurant (just them and child). They are starters and went. They said they hadn't realised this place was a fave restaurant & was close to their home. (So why go today). So we were left. It felt v awkward & like punishment for being late maybe. It had been lovely day and ended on weird vibes.
We finished our meal on own then went to another beautiful inn for pudding. After this I feel perplexed. AIBU to think their actions rude & far ruder than been late. We weren't intentionally late & just how it goes with traffic & teenagers.
I don't understand why we couldn't enjoy the meal together as planned. They booked it on the day (it felt like because we were late). We avoided confrontation but left sour note. Our children were perplexed. Just odd & awkward. This friend doesn't like confrontation even if it's "we were a bit sad you changed to go elsewhere" so she wouldn't discuss if I did. But I'm left feeling am I wrong. I just can't see myself having issues if they had longer to drive and was late & I would not change plans on a meal that was meant to be spent together. Xxx

An entree is a starter in most of the English speaking world except the USA and some parts of Canada where an entree is the main (or only course)

Entrée - Wikipedia

I think she knows finances weren’t the reason because the restaurant they moved into was also expensive.

Sounds like it was an excuse to leave. Could be they were annoyed or it could be one of them had the runs or something and wanted to go home.

How odd, I always thought Australia was quite civilised about food. Bless you no need to make an argument about such a simple correction of a common error.

I think the only way you will know for sure is if you ask them.

Were you on the M5 near Bristol by any chance?!
We were also travelling to meet friends yesterday (although staying for a few nights) and were 3 hours later than we said because it was so utterly gridlocked. Tried to divert down A roads but as everyone was doing that they were gridlocked too. If you were there, then you did well to only be 40 minutes late!

That's my little space where I unpack awkward social puzzles just like this one! I put together a simple guide on how to decode confusing friend behaviour without the drama. It's honestly helped me a ton in these situations. If you're still thinking about this thread, you might find a useful perspective there.
No heavy stuff, just smart strategies

I've read all your posts. I agree their actions are rather odd and rude, and not justified by your 40 minute lateness (though being late was a faux pas, it doesn't compare to walking out of a booked meal with friends who have travelled 2.5 hours to see you).

I suspect this may have had nothing to do with you. Is it possible as they were arguing, that the argument was becoming rather serious/ugly and your friend has decided to leave because of embarrassment. Either that, or something else you have done (in addition to the lateness) has caused offence and they've decided to leave rather than have a conflict. Or there's been some emergency with them or their children that would have been upsetting or embarrassing to explain (sudden attack of diarrhoea, a tween having their first period or something, one of their kids getting upset / having an issue with one of your kids, I don't know) - but I would expect your friend to reach out and explain this or apologies at some point fairly soon.

The local restaurant sounds like a hastily made up excuse.

But shes no way of knowing if that was true or not.... who knows if they acctually did book it or they didn't

OP you said your DC ordered mains immediately. Are your friends quite formal and were perhaps unhappy that the meal at this nice place was not following a formal starters - mains - dessert format when they wanted a more formal / adult meal? Did your DC order the most expensive thing on the menu and this annoyed them? Or did they announce their departure before your DC ordered? Just trying to work out what could have annoyed them…

That’s just massive conjecture though. In which case, we could make up absolutely anything, which is pointless.

But they’d already said they were leaving for the other restaurant while they were still browsing starter menu.

Only way to solve this is to ask your friend. Why are you hesitating?
hey can’t help but worrying about your hasty departure mid meal yesterday and wondering if everything is ok with you / between us?

if this person is your friend you can ask this. If you genuinely don’t think you can ask then I’m not convinced they want to be your friend.

it seems odd.

I understand that but its still possible that they were just saying that is it not?....

Without asking you won’t know why they left after starters and went to another restaurant. It may have been nothing to do with your lateness. Maybe they had an argument or something happened with their children and they just needed to go home. Are you sure they went to this other restaurant?

😂

I've asked.
I can confirm they did not leave due to money, not restaurant issues, dog or children.
I have had some chat but not fully
I've expressed how feel & they said there was no drama there was no issue. But no explanation why they went to a different restaurant & not replied to me explaining we were bit taken back and wanted to check all was ok.

I wonder now if you don’t make contact again / arrange to meet if you will ever hear from them again. All very strange.

Is this a recent response to your text?

Is this a recent response to your text?

Maybe they’re just rude then, OP! They simply fancied leaving so they did.

Sorry for double post - glitchy WiFi!

So basicly they dont want to share why... it was most likely a private issue. Or they wanted to drink with dinner which is just inexcusable and id cut them off or at least never meet again.

At least they have made clear it was not you

Yes, me too.

It's very odd and you'll never understand it unless you ask.

You have nothing to lose except a misunderstanding, or friends who aren't really friends.

She has literally asked. Read the thread.