Day out friends..they left to go to diff restaurant on their own

[TFICoffeetime]

Met up with close friends yesterday. We live opposite sides country. We picked scenic village, countryside & meal at a nice country inn.
We were 40 mins late (it's 2.5 hrs for us) 1 hour drive for us & got caught in traffic then stopped once to let DD go to the toilet & stretched dogs legs so she'd wee. All communicated with friends. We arrived, had lovely stroll, river swim and meal at nice country inn with great views. They had booked the meal...we thought lovely place. But when we got there they said they had to leave at 5.30 to go to another restaurant (just them and child). They are starters and went. They said they hadn't realised this place was a fave restaurant & was close to their home. (So why go today). So we were left. It felt v awkward & like punishment for being late maybe. It had been lovely day and ended on weird vibes.
We finished our meal on own then went to another beautiful inn for pudding. After this I feel perplexed. AIBU to think their actions rude & far ruder than been late. We weren't intentionally late & just how it goes with traffic & teenagers.
I don't understand why we couldn't enjoy the meal together as planned. They booked it on the day (it felt like because we were late). We avoided confrontation but left sour note. Our children were perplexed. Just odd & awkward. This friend doesn't like confrontation even if it's "we were a bit sad you changed to go elsewhere" so she wouldn't discuss if I did. But I'm left feeling am I wrong. I just can't see myself having issues if they had longer to drive and was late & I would not change plans on a meal that was meant to be spent together. Xxx

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing Teenagers shouldn’t need to stop mid journey for a wee if they’ve gone before they left, on a 2.5 hour drive.

I guess you don't have teenage girls.

Can’t believe how nasty people are being on this post! Seems like the lateness was out of your control with the diversion etc and you let them know what was happening - just plain rude to leave after they booked the restaurant and let you order starters and mains knowing that they weren’t ordering mains and planned to leave - bizarre behaviour- sorry your day was spoilt

Absolutely and that would have been the right thing to do.... but maybe they just didnt think of it.

They've lead the OP to believe they have means and live a lavish life style, so why was the wife so strange about the bill.

Something is wrong maybe they couldn't even afford the one near home.

I think OP thinks friend would have told her if this was the case, but thats not always possible when it comes to financial worries especially if husband doesn't want it known.

Could also be family breakdown or addiction issues who knows but the money issue screams more true due to the wife's behaviour

I don’t know why they left. Maybe they thought you had agreed to a light meal. Maybe they made a mistake. Maybe you an accidentally offended her and she didn’t want to engage into an argument and left to avoid getting into it.

I’ve skimmed your posts which I find quite confusing but one thing comes across from your interactions with other posters is that you come across quite argumentative and believe that there are legitimate reasons for anything going wrong on your part. Everyone is entitled to an opinion and if you didn’t want to be offended then don’t ask mumsnet.

the only way you will know what happened is by asking and being willing to listen to criticism, without arguing back and being rude.

Honestly.. I think 40/45 min late on a 2.5 hr journey is not bad. Especially if you were communicating that the journey was taking longer than expected. I totes think stopping in a 2.5 or 3 hr journey for a wee and a doggy pit stop is reasonable too.

I think something else was up with your mate. I guess ur feeling anxious about it. Just text her.. say .. hope ur dinner was okay... and ask how she is.

I also get a bit muddled/fuddled with my typing.. and texting.. being dyslexic so also again understand that sometimes we type things out that are clear in our heads and make perfect sense.. but just not to anyone else. 😅

I also think some peeps are a being a bit mean and judgy on here.

Hope it all sorts out!

Not really i booked a table last week for 13 people and didnt look at the prices.....

You just think pub meal.... reasonable prices. Unfortunately they may have done the same and thought wrong....

For the record if I ever thought wrong, id get my credit card out not embarrass my guests

You have messaged your friend @TFICoffeetime? what did she say as to their reasoning. Hopefully her explanation makes the situation make things clear as to why they did that.

I guess that happens when you’ve got 300 people being pedantic twats to you.

How weird of them especially as you told them you were stuck in traffic. Why would you go for lunch and dinner out on the same day?
But also who goes for dinner in one place and pudding in another?

You have done well to ask @TFICoffeetime , now I guess wait and see what your friend says. It does play on your mind if you feel someone is being off with you. It’s also easy to make 2+2=5 and hopefully there’s a reasonable explanation and you can all move on. X

Friends suggested that while we were out once and it was actually great. We went to a proper old fashioned ice cream parlour for sundaes. It was fun.

So many people being absolute wankers here.

This reads to me that either English is not OP's first language or that language skills are not her strong point. Rather than being wankers, this could all have been resolved with a few 'please could you clarify' questions - but obviously that's less fun for wankers.

As I read it:

OP and Friends agreed to meet at a certain time/place for walks around lovely market town, and then for a meal, for which there was a reservation.
OP was late due to circs beyond her control so the amount of walks around lovely market town time was slightly curtailed.
They all arrive at the restaurant at exactly the correct time for the reservation.
Friends announce at the point of ordering they are only staying for starters.

Not everyone is being like that. She is very closed off regarding other possibilities and is only open to blaming their lateness...

I really don't know why because its so unplausible that this would be the reaction to a 45 delay. I'm 100% it cannot be that. Anyone using a motorway is at risk of delays, no one would be that petty and outright rude as to get to the place booked for dinner and announce that. If shes right and im wrong, she should cut them from her life.

My local pub is £38ish per person on a Sunday for starter, main, pudding. Plus drinks. Are you saying you would not check the prices before booking a table for 13 people, total cost of around £500 plus drinks?

I don’t mean to sound unbelieving or disrespectful but that’s daft.

Crazy .Some pubs these days think they’re fine dining!

They didn’t go out for lunch and dinner on the same day.

No i didn't check. We didnt have starters or puddings but if we had, I'd have paid the bill....

We're not rich we know what we can afford, but I swear to you, I did not and do not check the price of pub lunches. They are all standard fairly affordable but apparently not this one.

I didn’t say everyone was. But by page 18 you’ve got almost 500 post and the majority of them were horrible.

She has only replied to say no where she knows the suggestion is wrong – eg the dog or finances.

Agree! They were weird and rude, OP, and its a mystery why so many here seem to think you were in the wrong

Two of my 'friends' did this on my hen weekend! I deduced they don't actually like me, so I never saw them again. Well, I saw them at the wedding but didn't communicate and that was that.

She’s already clarified that they moved on for dessert because they were at a big table by themselves and they were upset at having been left there. It’s not strange to move on in that position.

She's stated in her replies "its definitely the lateness"

How can she know about their finances though? If I was broke would I be announcing it to all my friends?

The dog she can be sure of because she checked. But even if they have plenty of money maybe they just didnt want to pay those prices and would rather dine at home where its cheaper and close so they can drink....

The last reason I'd cut them off for that aswell, as its cringily rude and down right nasty.

What bothers me is shes convinced her behaviour had an effect, thereby blaming herself when I think its highly unlikely.

I understand about the nasty comments and the only mistake was 1 word in the timings. I think shes been treated terribly about that.

Do you know why the husband wanted to leave earlier? Did you hear him mention something? When was it? Could it have been an excuse - like he felt unwell etc? It’s really weird behaviour otherwise if it wasn’t a money issue and they had chosen the pub

I agree. Me and my friends around the country often arrive at different times when meeting up there are always jams or wee stops etc and no one minds!

What’s that link you’ve embedded in your comment then? What profile?