Day out friends..they left to go to diff restaurant on their own

[TFICoffeetime]

Met up with close friends yesterday. We live opposite sides country. We picked scenic village, countryside & meal at a nice country inn.
We were 40 mins late (it's 2.5 hrs for us) 1 hour drive for us & got caught in traffic then stopped once to let DD go to the toilet & stretched dogs legs so she'd wee. All communicated with friends. We arrived, had lovely stroll, river swim and meal at nice country inn with great views. They had booked the meal...we thought lovely place. But when we got there they said they had to leave at 5.30 to go to another restaurant (just them and child). They are starters and went. They said they hadn't realised this place was a fave restaurant & was close to their home. (So why go today). So we were left. It felt v awkward & like punishment for being late maybe. It had been lovely day and ended on weird vibes.
We finished our meal on own then went to another beautiful inn for pudding. After this I feel perplexed. AIBU to think their actions rude & far ruder than been late. We weren't intentionally late & just how it goes with traffic & teenagers.
I don't understand why we couldn't enjoy the meal together as planned. They booked it on the day (it felt like because we were late). We avoided confrontation but left sour note. Our children were perplexed. Just odd & awkward. This friend doesn't like confrontation even if it's "we were a bit sad you changed to go elsewhere" so she wouldn't discuss if I did. But I'm left feeling am I wrong. I just can't see myself having issues if they had longer to drive and was late & I would not change plans on a meal that was meant to be spent together. Xxx

So nothing to do with your lateness either then.

Have you tried maybe phoning your friend? I hate talking on the phone and would rather text, but it sounds like you def need to get to the bottom of this!

totally weird. My first thought was they had a better offer come in while you were late and felt awkward saying that outright. Or they only had enough money for one big meal out that week, saw the menu and decided ‘meh’ rather eat elsewhere. But it’s rude and weird to do that when you’ve driven such a long way. Perhaps they thought you’d have to cancel when you child was car sick, and didn’t actually think you’d show up - but again that wouldn’t be the worst thing to explain. Or someone in the family checked menu online threw a strop, so they compromised by saying ok just a starter and we’ll take you to other place on way back?? real strange but i couldn’t accept that and not plan to meet them again.

Seems like the issue was between husband and wife not you and them. Some people on here I don't know how they have friends being so judgemental about little things such as being late. They must burn through a lot.

I'm sorry @TFICoffeetime it was totally weird that your friends left like that. I would be upset too. I don't get all these posters piling on you about a confusing timeline. It seems pretty clear to me what happened. Also, good friends will be understanding of being late on rare occasions especially if you have had such a long journey. 40 mins is really not a massive deal. Maybe your friend has other stuff going on in her life and is being less tolerant of others at the moment. I think if the friendship is important I would maybe tell her you were hurt by what happened.

Sorry I have just seen that you have spoken to them but not really got an explanation. I think I would just leave them be for a bit. Could be they were being petty about your lateness or they have something else going on in their lives that you are not aware of.

Gosh, I think this is a very unpleasant post.

As is becoming more and more frequent on MN, about 600 posts in this thread could've been saved if OP had just re-read the OP before posting to check it was clear, made sense and accurately described the situation without all the follow-up corrections and necessary information.

It does sound really odd OP that they just booked a second restaurant today then went. I wouldn't assume it's because you were a little late. I think there was something else going on - that made them want to go there at that time. No idea what though!

Having read through your posts and the responses I’m inclined to think this is nothing to do with the lateness etc I’d hazard a guess that at some point in the get together someone was offended (rightly or wrongly) and that was the reason they called it quits. Not necessarily yourself - maybe one of the kids. You can only ask (as you have done) and be willing to apologise if so

And involves more fiction than most novels @Arraminta

If you post, then you have to accept the replies. Nice or otherwise. If you don’t or can’t accept it then don’t post.

It seems a huge drama over nothing consequential tbh. If your DC were upset, it might have been because they were picking up on your attitude. Them being disappointed their pal had gone is one thing, but up to you to deal with, not encourage.

Also whilst I accept that being late is sometimes impossible to avoid your reluctance to accept any criticism around it suggests a potential lack of awareness on your part.

Blooming hec. This poster seems to know all about the OP. Are you her psychiatrist? Your post is comical. Seriously. What a load of old crap.

So when they walked out after the starter did they pay for theirs?

No woman has to accept anything like this in this increasingly nasty forum. Good for OP for standing up for herself.

Your interactions on this thread feel uncomfortable - maybe you felt that way to the other couple they gave each other a nod and thought - time for us to go.

Have you asked them?

But you do have to. You don’t need to agree, but as I said you have to accept replies. Or not post. If you post others respond. That’s the material reality.

If enough users leave comments of the sort OP has had to deal with on this thread there will eventually be no one daring/bothering to make a post on mn, so the nasty people on here will have to find a new hobby.

"usual suspects"?? I'm not sure I have ever come across you before, you clearly pay more attention to usernames than I do.

Well I’d be hurt by this and would assume that they didn’t want to be with us for some reason.

I’d like to ask the reason but I’d probably just wait for them to contact me. I wouldn’t be chasing them. If they carry on communicating as normal then I’d just put it down to something going on with them on that day. If they don’t bother getting in touch or communications are different, then I would just let the friendship drop, much as it might hurt.
Leave the ball in their court. If they really value you, you’ll soon find out.

I am not agreeing or disagreeing with the comments. My point is that people can and will reply. That’s what you have to accept if and when you post. It’s a discussion forum. Also it’s life. We can agree and disagree on many issues, we don’t need to take it all personally.

You don’t have to meekly swallow their nasty replies though. It’s BS.

Nope, you can post and call out bullshit where you see it, which is exactly what OP was doing. Good on her.

Of course you/she can respond. You’re missing the point. She can respond. Others can too. Whether we like it or not isn’t the issue. We don’t need to be offended every time people disagree with us, and of course we can robustly disagree.

But it’s a discussion forum and we can all say what we think, regardless of how others perceive it. Caveat that of course racism , and similar is unacceptable.

How odd, despite so many posters pointing out your inaccuracy, that you need to go on the attack of such a beautiful country, rather than just admit that you were wrong and that, in most (civilised and uncivilised) countries around the world, an entree is in fact a starter.

Bless you, no need to be embarrassed, just get some experience or, education 🤷🏼‍♀️

Disagreements aren’t the problem. That’s overly simplistic. It’s that this forum has swiftly become a very hateful place, full of bullying, nitpicking, mocking and near-on abuse. We read it every day. And it’s vile.