Day out friends..they left to go to diff restaurant on their own

[TFICoffeetime]

Met up with close friends yesterday. We live opposite sides country. We picked scenic village, countryside & meal at a nice country inn.
We were 40 mins late (it's 2.5 hrs for us) 1 hour drive for us & got caught in traffic then stopped once to let DD go to the toilet & stretched dogs legs so she'd wee. All communicated with friends. We arrived, had lovely stroll, river swim and meal at nice country inn with great views. They had booked the meal...we thought lovely place. But when we got there they said they had to leave at 5.30 to go to another restaurant (just them and child). They are starters and went. They said they hadn't realised this place was a fave restaurant & was close to their home. (So why go today). So we were left. It felt v awkward & like punishment for being late maybe. It had been lovely day and ended on weird vibes.
We finished our meal on own then went to another beautiful inn for pudding. After this I feel perplexed. AIBU to think their actions rude & far ruder than been late. We weren't intentionally late & just how it goes with traffic & teenagers.
I don't understand why we couldn't enjoy the meal together as planned. They booked it on the day (it felt like because we were late). We avoided confrontation but left sour note. Our children were perplexed. Just odd & awkward. This friend doesn't like confrontation even if it's "we were a bit sad you changed to go elsewhere" so she wouldn't discuss if I did. But I'm left feeling am I wrong. I just can't see myself having issues if they had longer to drive and was late & I would not change plans on a meal that was meant to be spent together. Xxx

And since you ask, @Catladyof7, I’m an emergency services worker and have developed what we refer to as “Ambo-bladder”. Some shifts I can be lucky to see a toilet once in a 14hr shift. But that doesn’t mean that I’m ignorant of people who need the bathroom once an hour. Horses for courses - a 3hr journey is sometimes a daily occurrence for me, and I would never need a bathroom break in that time (which is just as well because I wouldn’t get one), but if on the other hand I was having a bad IBS/diverticular disease day, I’d be eating Imodium like candies, praying to any god that would listen, or as a last resort having to go home sick. Swings and roundabouts.

I wish.
I have never been any different since i was young.
I must have a very small bladder it seems.

Was the restaurant expensive, maybe they saw the prices and bolted?

Many people on this thread haven’t had any problem at all in understanding, OP. And many people can quite clearly see the same old Mumsnet bullying taking place.

Make of that what you will.

As I explained upthread…

^”It’s being talked about because in my vernacular I automatically used the word entree when talking about the meal, then the usual suspects, @SomethingUniqueThisTime @TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne @Negroany took it upon themselves to come along and confidently tell me that I was WRONG, that an entree is a main, not a starter - despite me screenshotting a menu from my local pub bistro clearly showing the entrees (clearly starters) and explaining that I’m in AUS. Not everyone lives in the UK. And even though the original and true meaning of entree is a starter and is used as such in many places all over the world. The fucking word doesn’t even sound right in my head any more 🤦🏼‍♀️🤣
But some posters just need to be contrary. As is clearly demonstrated on this thread. Just a shame when they’re fucking wrong into the bargain.”^

So nobody cares 😂 except the people who came to tell me that I was wrong! For no reason 😂

Well in my opinion thats actually wrong if you cant take time to go to the loo and potentially can make you very ill.
I also have ulcerative colitis and on a one hour trip a few years back, there were no services or toilets and i had no choice but to hold it till i got to my destination
.
By the time i then got to the loo, i was sweating , throwing up and they had to get a medic as i had gone into a shock and not going was poisoning my system. Took about 4 hours to even feel normal , wrapped in a foil blanket with heat on me

I really don't understand why people have to be so nasty. Yes it was a little confusing but we got the main info, tiny detail don't matter. I hope you get an explanation of your 'friend '

I don’t think saving lives factors in loo breaks.

@Didimum , many posters have expressed that they found the OP's posts difficult to understand.

Because trying to teach perfectly functioning adults how to travel is ridiculous.

This is what I think aswell 100%. They arrived 45 mins before OP, they likely went in for a drink saw the prices and made alternative arrangements there and then.

They are known to OP as well off/high earners so they won't have wanted to say, "acctually its to expensive" so they instead said absolutely nothing and put on a floor show like this instead.

You can earn a whole lot of money and be terrible with it and end up in a financial hole, just as easy as someone with very little.

They could have had a row aswell that they didnt know about. Could be so many things tbh

It would if they collapsed when trying to do it . Then potentially two lives at risk and yes it could happen.

Lazy readers. It’s not difficult. All main info is there. Minor details are irrelevant.

It’s part and parcel of the job unfortunately, and it’s definitely not every shift. But sometimes depending on the situation, there’s literally nowhere to go. Other days, there’s plenty opportunity. But you become conditioned by those times that you can’t I suppose. It’s not the worst part of the job.

I suppose you know your friends better than us OP, have they ever had form for doing this kind of thing before? How close are you? How much do you know about their personal lives? Could it be that something happened and they had to leave abruptly but did not want to tell you the real reason?

That's not the reason.

So why the bickering over paying for a couple of entrees then, do you think @TFICoffeetime?

Something at the restaurant made them abruptly leave after kicking off over a few quid, whilst upsetting both your and their daughter.

Have you had a reply from her yet?

Maybe one of them shit themselves or came on their period and had to leave in a hurry?

Did you inadvertently say something that might have upset them?

Perhaps they got a message with a bit of bad news or something they had to rush back for that they didn't want to share.

Honestly op, just speak to your friend and ask her 'hi, we enjoyed spending time with you today, sorry you had to leave in such a hurry, is everything okay? I hope we didn't do anything to upset you.'

Surely in that profession, even the bosses should know its detrimental to your health .
It affects your kidneys and i was told off about holding when i was so ill .
Told me i had toxins starting to go into my kidneys .
A decent employee would let people , its basic human rights to be able to go to a toilet when you need to

I also don't see how it is related to the late arrival..

If they were fine all day.. and then between afternoon activities and restaurant, something's changed...

Did they drive to the restaurant @BobhopeNohope could there have been a conversation/something happen in their car, so that when they arrived at the venue you'd all booked, they had to make their excuses somehow.

Did they choose the venue or did you?

My money is on that one. Maybe any conversation with the friend should start with "Are you ok?". If the friend didn't at some point contact me to either apologise, embarrassed, or to explain why they were so fed up with me/DH/DC/the dog then the friendship would be history, godmother or not.

Right now though, they might be half way through the final shouting pre-divorce row.

How do you know??? How are you 100% sure?
This cannot be about your lateness, no one I've ever met would do to me what has been done to you....

The wife's behaviour suggests at the very least that she didn't like the prices...

There is more to this. I dont know what it is. Money problems, marital problems, drinking problems but no one would be that rude over lateness or wait until you were inside ordering to tell you they were not staying.

They had 45 mins before you arrived to go in there and see that it was eye wateringly expensive and their "favorite restaurant" was cheaper and they would also be able to drink presumably....

This isn't about your lateness OP. They ARE rude and they owe you an explanation but your looking for reasons in the wrong places.

It’s not about being “not allowed to”, it’s about opportunity pure and simple. If you’re tending to a scene in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere on a rural country road, you can be there, if there are multiple patients/bystanders/other services, assisting with extrications, waiting for helos etc etc for 6 or 7 hours, not counting getting there and then getting to a facility. There literally is no opportunity or facility available, and that’s not the fault of management or anyone else - it’s circumstance pure and simple.

Anyway, once again I apologise for me-railing the thread. It hasn’t been on purpose.

Maybe the booking was too early for them.

But they made the booking.