Day out friends..they left to go to diff restaurant on their own

[TFICoffeetime]

Met up with close friends yesterday. We live opposite sides country. We picked scenic village, countryside & meal at a nice country inn.
We were 40 mins late (it's 2.5 hrs for us) 1 hour drive for us & got caught in traffic then stopped once to let DD go to the toilet & stretched dogs legs so she'd wee. All communicated with friends. We arrived, had lovely stroll, river swim and meal at nice country inn with great views. They had booked the meal...we thought lovely place. But when we got there they said they had to leave at 5.30 to go to another restaurant (just them and child). They are starters and went. They said they hadn't realised this place was a fave restaurant & was close to their home. (So why go today). So we were left. It felt v awkward & like punishment for being late maybe. It had been lovely day and ended on weird vibes.
We finished our meal on own then went to another beautiful inn for pudding. After this I feel perplexed. AIBU to think their actions rude & far ruder than been late. We weren't intentionally late & just how it goes with traffic & teenagers.
I don't understand why we couldn't enjoy the meal together as planned. They booked it on the day (it felt like because we were late). We avoided confrontation but left sour note. Our children were perplexed. Just odd & awkward. This friend doesn't like confrontation even if it's "we were a bit sad you changed to go elsewhere" so she wouldn't discuss if I did. But I'm left feeling am I wrong. I just can't see myself having issues if they had longer to drive and was late & I would not change plans on a meal that was meant to be spent together. Xxx

She asked them about the dog though and offered to have him/her looked after and they said bring them. So if it was the dog then its completely unacceptable on their part.

I mean the whole thing is pretty ugly tbh and they do owe her an honest explanation, but she probably doesn't want to lose the friendship which let's be honest may happen if she does raise it.

That's one of the reasons I would contact her as a concerned friend. To try and help but also broach it as an odd behaviour

Thank the Lord for small mercies!

I’ve been here under a few names for 20ish years now, it can be incredibly supportive, like when I had crippling hyperemesis, horrible PND, when I was unexpectedly widowed just under two years ago in my early 40s with four boys to look after. Some people were truly wonderful. Unfortunately it’s always attracted cunts as well, who are always the most vocal (or seem to be). I feel really sorry for people who are struggling or less articulate, or in this case have a learning disorder - they always seem to be like piles of shit that these cunty little flies swarm around. It’s sad, but not surprising. Bullies almost always target the weak.

Anyhow, apologies for the me-rail. Entree entree entree! 😂

She asked them if they wanted her to bring the dog and they said yes.

As OP's communication difficulties are due to her dyslexia, you sound unkind and ableist.

perhaps she realised she was ovulating?

The only thing I wondered about the dog, that I mentioned upthread (and did say it may be a reach), was that if the dog had been swimming and had a bit of stinky wet dog pong going on, one or other of the couple may not have felt able to eat very much at all because of the smell. (If they’re not dog owners they may not have thought that through), and when they realised, came up with a stupid get out excuse so as not to offend re smelly pooch, while inadvertently offending/upsetting the OP by coming up with a far more offensive excuse than just saying “I’m sorry, but wet dog smell has turned me off my food”?

Unlikely I know, but just a thought. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I think we can safely say that yes, she’s always this vile. Although I suspect that in real life, she’s more of a coward.

I don’t suppose it’s any less likely than my wet dog theory 😂.

OP really just needs to ask though, or it will fester for her and possibly ruin a friendship with the godmother to one or both of her kids.

I don't think 40 minutes is that late on a 2.5 hour journey. Try going on the A303 and a 3 hour journey can easily become 4! But I think stopping twice was a bit odd when you stopped because of the travel sickness/wee break you could have walked the dog then.

I think the OP is overegging this. They spotted the other restaurant and thought they'd rather go there on the way home, and they'd already spent some time with the OP during the day. What was weird was that they didn't tell you during the day that they'd decided to go elsewhere for dinner - it's odd to do it when you are ordering.

No I definitely couldn’t work myself up over 40 minutes when it’s a whole day out and no time-sensitive activities. Who cares?

Well maybe it should have been worded differently.
I read it that some on here thought i should wear a nappy because i have a weak bladder and would need car stops.
Which is rude for someone with a possible health condition

@Didimum , no, because the loo/sick breaks need to be added. 15 mins isn't a lot for stopping at the services and having a wee. 2 stops cos dog and travel sickness.

Assuming an average speed of 60 mph, 150 miles would be 2.5 hrs.
Assuming an average speed of 60 mins on a busy summer Saturday.is being wildly optimistic.
Drop the average time to a more realistic 45 mph, and you're adding on 50 mins. Round it up to 1 hr.

Not weird at all. Far better to have that buffer.

So whilst everyone is disputing wee breaks, time travel etc etc.
The actual question was .
Do you think thats what caused the problem with the others leaving?
Not everyone disputing on travel lengths depending on where you live !

So why did they leave is what needs answering and the only ones that know, are the ones that left .
So a polite message asking why would be the best option, if not reasonable, dont bother with them again.
You did all the travelling, not them .

So why did they leave is what needs answering and the only ones that know, are the ones that left .
So a polite message asking why would be the best option, if not reasonable, dont bother with them again.
You did all the travelling, not them .

This.

I can often get to 7 or 8pm and realise ive not been to the loo since I woke up. Other days can go for a wee, and need to go again 10 minutes later.

Lots of bizarre responses to the OP on here!

Likely scenario; the friend + family were miffed at waiting around for the OP and decided to return the favour by leaving her and her family hanging during the meal. Being late wasn’t great but all the lectures are OTT; it wasn’t done on purpose and the friend could’ve addressed it instead of skipping out on dinner.

All a bit silly but I’d just apologise again for being late, ask if everything was OK and let them know you were upset as you’d planned the whole day together. Depending on the response and how things go if you arrange to see each other again, you may need to rethink the friendship.

I wonder if something happened that wasn't related to you, but they didn't want to disclose the reason - maybe one of them had a worrying text or something, or wasn't feeling well - so they made up a reason (the booking in the other restaurant). It's just so bizarre to leave so abruptly after the starter that it feels like there must be something else going on.

And with respect, maybe you should consider the context of a post - sarcasm can be tricky to spot - but it was plainly obvious the poster didn’t mean you should need to wear a diaper/nappy rather than stop at the service station.

Your angry and threatening outbursts (along with with fist punching emojis), have all been deleted now such was their vitriol, hell you got so out of your tree that you attacked me and I said absolutely nothing wrong.

It never hurts to take a step back and consider the context or nuance of a post before replying, and replying repeatedly in such an aggressive manner does, unfortunately reflect badly on you. Worse in fact than if the poster who first mentioned the nappy had even been serious - they would have just looked like an unkind Pratt - you on the other hand, well you got yourself a bunch of deletions, that Mumsnet keep an eye on btw.

Given the family who left had already decided they weren't staying for the full meal and then had a squabble about the bill, my guess is that they didn't want to spend a lot of money or they didn't want to stay late. How do you know they actually went to the second restaurant closer to home or there could have been something on that they needed to get home to. You clearly believe they are well off but maybe they aren't right now.

Besides this everyone could guess a huge amount of different reasons - husband and wife had a row, they always end up paying for some of your meal and wanted to avoid that, they don't want your daughter influencing theirs or they weren't happy with the evening wear or topic of conversation but since none of us were there and don't know your friends it is impossible to tell. Maybe your post will trigger a memory or a turning point in the day and the reason will become clear to you. I'd love to know what your friend replied but I doubt it would be the truth either ways.

Yeah, mate. Not common to do that. She added a buffer, they were later than expected. It happens. Since OP says that she hasn’t been late before, we can assume she’s good with travel. End of.

Do we care what its called ?
Not even relevant to the question 🤣🤣

OP, I'm smart. Really quite smart. And I'm totally lost trying to keep up with this thread. It has nothing to do with your grammar, and it's nothing to do with dyslexia. It's the drip feeding, the unclear timelines, the defensiveness when people explain what the issue probably was (which was the whole point of your post), the asides where you reveal information as if we were supposed to deduce it from thin air...

I can't help but feel that if this is your communication style, your interactions/apologies with your friends today probably didn't come across very well either.

Them leaving part way through dinner is deranged, as is this thread.

HRTWT but have read OPs.
I don't think it was anything to do with OP. I think they had a row on the way to the restaurant but couldn't bail without showing their faces, which turned into forcing down a starter before lying about eating somewhere else and buggering off to finish the row on the way home.

@Didimum , why do you harp on about it then? It's tedious.
I'm not your mate and I find your writing style patronising.