Day out friends..they left to go to diff restaurant on their own

[TFICoffeetime]

Met up with close friends yesterday. We live opposite sides country. We picked scenic village, countryside & meal at a nice country inn.
We were 40 mins late (it's 2.5 hrs for us) 1 hour drive for us & got caught in traffic then stopped once to let DD go to the toilet & stretched dogs legs so she'd wee. All communicated with friends. We arrived, had lovely stroll, river swim and meal at nice country inn with great views. They had booked the meal...we thought lovely place. But when we got there they said they had to leave at 5.30 to go to another restaurant (just them and child). They are starters and went. They said they hadn't realised this place was a fave restaurant & was close to their home. (So why go today). So we were left. It felt v awkward & like punishment for being late maybe. It had been lovely day and ended on weird vibes.
We finished our meal on own then went to another beautiful inn for pudding. After this I feel perplexed. AIBU to think their actions rude & far ruder than been late. We weren't intentionally late & just how it goes with traffic & teenagers.
I don't understand why we couldn't enjoy the meal together as planned. They booked it on the day (it felt like because we were late). We avoided confrontation but left sour note. Our children were perplexed. Just odd & awkward. This friend doesn't like confrontation even if it's "we were a bit sad you changed to go elsewhere" so she wouldn't discuss if I did. But I'm left feeling am I wrong. I just can't see myself having issues if they had longer to drive and was late & I would not change plans on a meal that was meant to be spent together. Xxx

Fucking hell.

The communication to the friends is important, as are the reasons for the delays.

I wouldnt mind if a friend was 40 mins late if the issues were unpredictable and they'd left a bit of spare time that all got used up.

I would mind if op didn't bother leaving any extra time and was texting telling me they were stopping for a pee then because a child felt ill, walking the dog etc.

Did you discuss politics with them or any other contentious issue during the day?

Are you sure they actually went to another restaurant and didn’t drive straight home?

All very perplexing indeed! 🤔

That is a shame, for both your daughter and hers.

Blimey, fancy complaining to the op her daughter being a teenager shouldnt have to stop for a pee ?
2 and a half hours in a car and i am an adult and would have to stop . How is that unreasonable, plus some of us have weak bladders .
I have done one hour journeys and had to stop twice sometimes.
No empathy on these forums.
Same for the poor dog .

But OP what I really need to know is the breed of your dog? How much water did it drink before you set out and did you factor this into your journey time and need for wee breaks???? If you would only explain important details like this at the start like a normal person then we could help you.

Depends on the journey. Op had to travel 2.5 hours. Yes it’s still late but things happen like blocked motorway in her case and her child’s travel sickness.

op gave them heads up, apologised several times. She does not need a punishment.

As opposed to letting people offer up a view to OP and having another poster pounce for disagreeing with a smarmy comment. Then, after engaging in some petty back and forth, together with tagging in the OP to try (and fail) at starting a pile on, they decide to report the person they first made a smarmy comment to in the first place. Yes, very sad.

Of course it’s not unreasonable! I have said that already. I stop if I drive for an hour. So I just factor that in if I’m meeting someone as it tends to take 15/20 mins to stop on the motorway. But then I also hate being late as it stresses me out…

I don’t think anybody has said the OP should not have stopped to let her daughter wee (and her son feel better). I don’t know why people are saying this. Nobody has had a go at the OP about that.

@SomethingUniqueThisTime

An entrée (/ˈɒ̃treɪ/, US also /ɒnˈtreɪ/; French: [ɑ̃tʁe]), in modern French table service and that of much of the English-speaking world, is a dish served before the main course of a meal.

Therefore, it’s a starter!!

Sometimes Mumsnet is mental!

Anyways, my best guess is that it is nothing to do with you OP, but something going on between them. For whatever reason, possibly a big blow up, they had to get away and made up the other restaurant excuse. It is very strange behaviour regardless of whether you were late or not. The fact that you have said this friend has become more rigid etc. might also indicate something going on with them.

And fwiw I wouldn't bat an eyelid at a friend who was travelling 2.5 hours to see me being 40 mins late. Life happens.

Is it possible they’d had an argument (between them, not with you) and perhaps were fuming with each other and left because of that? (Not an excuse for rudeness. But potentially an explanation, and nothing to do with how they feel about you.)

I think this thread has run so long because the timings are so confusing. It's like a riddle.

Two families arranged to meet in a countryside location several hours before their early evening meal, having all already eaten lunch? So that means they must have arranged to meet at, what, 2pm? But the OP arrived more like 2.40pm. With a meal booked at 5pm? But then if the friends left at 5.30 having already eaten starters, even that seems tight timing-wise.

It's a very odd time of day to meet someone 2.5 hours away, when it means you need to eat sandwiches in the car. Surely would make more sense to meet for lunch.

I think they had a better offer come up. From what I understand from the thread the friends seemed to be messaging (making another reservation) in the afternoon. I don't think it's down to your lateness. They rudely just decided to meet someone else. That might be why their child looked sad (as maybe they knew they were going to meet someone else their parents are friends with with no children or something).

What on earth. People are strange. Why is kindness lost when it's online. Used to be a lovely community x

@SaladAndChipsForTea Did you not realise you were dismissed?

@TFICoffeetime I am finding your posts really difficult to understand. Your writing style is so disjointed.

I’m wondering if your confusing communications are part of the reason you experienced these difficulties.

Thanks, @Flakey99 💐

I can’t work out whether I found it more irksome or amusing, just the sheer confidence of the pp’s inaccuracy! (I shouldn’t add a 🤣 here).

they decide to report the person they first made a smarmy comment to in the first place.

What does this even mean? I haven't reported anything 😆

I understand the post… sort of…

I thought I initially understood it but then the OP clarified and it was actually more confusing and contained a lot of unnecessary information but not at any stage did she say what time they planned to meet and what time they actually showed up.

Given the OP’s waffle post I think everyone is awful.

Also, if the OP’s son can’t handle a short trip then she should have medicated him before the trip as he is a teenager - not a child.

If doing walk and pub meal I always meet friends/family at 2pm. Time for a walk for a few hours then head to pub late afternoon - would expect to finish up around 7pm (or into the night if it got rowdy and no children). If I was 40 minutes late the eating/drinking part of the plan wouldn’t change - perhaps a shorter walk to make up for lateness and get to pub at time we expected.

If someone needed to head off at a certain time then a discussion would be had, eg do we all want a walk more or do we want to prioritise the full meal/time for relaxed drink?

Never would I expect a friend to say nothing, have a starter and then be like, “right we’re off now we want to eat dinner closer to home.”

If you arrived late they had probably not factored in an additional 40 minutes. If you'd arrived on time they would most likely have had time for for starter and main.

Please don't become an internet detective...it's funny how wrong you've deduced things & I will not be filling in the gaps. Time to hang up your hat x

At the very least, read the OP’s posts, the lateness didn’t infringe on the dinner at all!

Exactly this, Im not sure why people are wafflng on about dogs, traffic delays, whether the teen can or should hold her bladder, whether you have to add on another 2 hours to a 2.5hr drive 'just in case'

When the puzzling bit is, OP and the friends get to the restaurant as planned. They all sit at their table, as planned
They all go through the drinks menu and order drinks initially one presumes, as planned
They all go through the food menu and order starters and mains, as planned
They dont say anything else about not eating their mains, until after their starters when they pull out their chairs and say 'bye then'.?

Where did the mains go, who paid for them?