Day out friends..they left to go to diff restaurant on their own

[TFICoffeetime]

Met up with close friends yesterday. We live opposite sides country. We picked scenic village, countryside & meal at a nice country inn.
We were 40 mins late (it's 2.5 hrs for us) 1 hour drive for us & got caught in traffic then stopped once to let DD go to the toilet & stretched dogs legs so she'd wee. All communicated with friends. We arrived, had lovely stroll, river swim and meal at nice country inn with great views. They had booked the meal...we thought lovely place. But when we got there they said they had to leave at 5.30 to go to another restaurant (just them and child). They are starters and went. They said they hadn't realised this place was a fave restaurant & was close to their home. (So why go today). So we were left. It felt v awkward & like punishment for being late maybe. It had been lovely day and ended on weird vibes.
We finished our meal on own then went to another beautiful inn for pudding. After this I feel perplexed. AIBU to think their actions rude & far ruder than been late. We weren't intentionally late & just how it goes with traffic & teenagers.
I don't understand why we couldn't enjoy the meal together as planned. They booked it on the day (it felt like because we were late). We avoided confrontation but left sour note. Our children were perplexed. Just odd & awkward. This friend doesn't like confrontation even if it's "we were a bit sad you changed to go elsewhere" so she wouldn't discuss if I did. But I'm left feeling am I wrong. I just can't see myself having issues if they had longer to drive and was late & I would not change plans on a meal that was meant to be spent together. Xxx

Do you think you are Sunday "fun" day? Or is that the joke? That you decide you don't like someone's post and then pick them up on it instead of scrolling on.

Do answer, because I imagine this is your idea of a Sunday funday.

To illustrate my point, why on Earth did you leave the restaurant after the main course and go and have pudding elsewhere? I find that both odd and very scatty.

It's really not unusual to go to another place for pudding...

Also, loving the whole "do you think before you write?" Coming from someone who suggested the other family left after the started because they were full. 😆🤣

Stop directing accusations at me. I have not questioned why your brought your dog along. I read the part where your friends asked you to!

I merely asked for clarification about how many children and whether it was a wee or travel sickness with the same child or different children. I do feel this is crucial as then that is all adding to the delay - wee stops, travel sickness with the other child then the dog needs walking. We can’t help you if we don’t know the correct story.

I have said that I don’t think they were cross with you for being late and that I think they had an argument - that’s why they left.

I apologise but I don’t even understand what you have just written either!

I also think this is relevant as if this is how you communicate to your friends then maybe there’s been a breakdown in communication and that is why they have got pissed off and left.

@TFICoffeetime As other posters have suggested I would text your friend and see if you can talk it out.

I merely asked for clarification about how many children and whether it was a wee or travel sickness with the same child or different children. I do feel this is crucial as then that is all adding to the delay - wee stops, travel sickness with the other child then the dog needs walking. We can’t help you if we don’t know the correct story.

None of this is relevant, the OP was 40
mins late, that's the relevant bit.

I also think this is relevant as if this is how you communicate to your friends then maybe there’s been a breakdown in communication and that is why they have got pissed off and left.

Even if this was true presumably because they are friends the friends would be used to the OPs communication style & imo friends talk to each other if they are upset about something.

An entree is the main course not the starter 🤣

I mean tbf, I have stopped at an entree before because I was full - I don’t have a big appetite and sometimes they are bigger than I expect (although my lovely late husband certainly never would have! 😂), however what I wouldn’t do would be say “right, that’s me full, can I have my cheque please, I’m off!”

Have you never been to a restaurant with children in a new part of the country on a lovely summer's evening and decide to have an ice cream or a coffee or something in a different place. Our friends had left. We left a generous tip. Why stay. We went elsewhere. Just some of these comments are goading. Anyone could write anything & you'd deviate from the question to pick holes. Situation bizarre but some replies are mad*
Thank you to the helpful ones x

Thank God they're close friends and they only live 2.5 hours away! Where do you distant friends live in? South pole?

We can disagree on this - I think the reasons for being 40 mins late and the way she communicated this to her friend are very relevant.

It is confusing that in her first post she says DD needed to stop for a wee.

Then in her second post the reason they stopped was because DS was car sick.

The reason it’s relevant is that if you know kids normally need to stop for a wee or feel sick then you factor in a bit of time in for this.

However, like I said, I don’t think this is why they left.

We are trying to help OP and get to the bottom of this but it’s hard when her posts are conflicting and confusing at times.

Not familiar with close having two meanings?

God OP I am sorry that mumsnet has turned into such a cesspit of irrational/bitter people wanting to tear each other down. And of course you were always going to get a brigade of people who take personal offence at anyone ever being late, despite that being quite irrelevant to your post!

It sounds like you booked a walk followed by late afternoon/early evening pub dinner with friends, and naturally there would be the expectation that that would take up the rest of the evening and if not, normally people would give you the heads up - “FYI we have evening plans so will need to leave at 4:30” especially if you were running late, the normal thing to do surely when you were on your walk would be to say, “hey we have to head off at 4:30 so perhaps we should get to the pub earlier so we have time to eat/would you rather a longer walk and quick bite?”

Super strange that they made the plan on the same day and excluded you! Maybe their daughter was sick or they had had a big fight and needed to be alone asap or something like that as it seems quite unusual for them to be punishing you for quite standard lateness given the distance you needed to travel and the fact that it was just meeting in a town for a walk (not like you were 40 mins late for a reservation or anything like that). Could you call and ask if anything wrong? Best to clear the air sort of thing.

🤣

@TFICoffeetime we did exactly that a few weeks ago. Had our dinner in an Italian & then went to the ice cream parlour.

Have you thought that, as there didn’t seem to be a problem in the earlier part of the day, something might have happened such as a bout of diarrhoea or migraine. Even just a domestic dispute between the other couple which they didn’t want to disclose to you? I would try to let it go for now and see what happens next time you all meet up

Your original and subsequent posts are not clear hence the many questions you have been asked.
I’m wondering if the messages to your friend explaining your lateness were not clear so she got confused hence her being abrupt and leaving early at the restaurant.

OP why not message your friend today and say “hi lovely, great to see you yesterday but I have to ask why you went after just a starter? I’m racking my brains to think if we offended you (despite our lateness of course).

They may not like confrontation but you are well within your rights to ask. You’ve nothing to lose as the friendship would be over if a friend did this to me and I couldn’t ask them why. Be brave and do it.

Not where I live it’s not. Have you only ever eaten locally to where you live?

We are trying to help OP and get to the bottom of this but it’s hard when her posts are conflicting and confusing at times.

Are posters repeatedly telling her how she should have factored in wee stops, roadworks, car sickness etc really trying to be helpful?

Christ on a bike OP.

You've spent 5 hours pissballing about on this thread, making assumptions and discussing speculation about why these people left early.

Ridiculous that you can be arsed to do that, but not simply ask your so called 'friends' why.

I do think OP may be missing subtle social clues from friends and the late afternoon meal ended up being the final straw for the friends.
She does seem to focus overly on her children’s needs rather than making sure the day was focussed on meeting and have a good time with the friends. The majority of the journey’s delays were about meeting the children’s needs - car sickness, having a wee, eating sandwiches on the way, taking dog for a walk - rather than reacting to the road diversion and hurrying more to ensure they met in good time.
Then the kids ordered main meals and no starters because they were hungry without any consideration that the friends wished to have a relaxed meal with starters first - kids could have ordered bread or something until the main course. I suspect at this point the friends had enough after playing second fiddle to the teenage kids all day.

FFS the amount of nitpicking!
I managed to get my head around the OP just fine. Not everyone has a fluent writing style but basic reading comprehension can help figure out the gist of the post.

OP being late is a bit crap, I would definitely leave 45mins or so contingency time in future, especially for a long journey. As you say, anything can happen so plan for it (within reason)

But- leaving a planned and booked meal after starters to go somewhere else is REALLY BLOODY WEIRD AND RUDE!!! I'd be massively upset and offended.

There must be something else going on because that is very weird behaviour.

I agree but I would recommend putting big girl pants on and just calling - much better way to clear the air and no possibility of anyone misunderstanding each other’s tone. I think you should do this right away as I have let a few things slide in my life/not addressed offence I may have caused head on and the friendships do tend to wither and die. A real friend will appreciate your forthrightness.