Day out friends..they left to go to diff restaurant on their own

[TFICoffeetime]

Met up with close friends yesterday. We live opposite sides country. We picked scenic village, countryside & meal at a nice country inn.
We were 40 mins late (it's 2.5 hrs for us) 1 hour drive for us & got caught in traffic then stopped once to let DD go to the toilet & stretched dogs legs so she'd wee. All communicated with friends. We arrived, had lovely stroll, river swim and meal at nice country inn with great views. They had booked the meal...we thought lovely place. But when we got there they said they had to leave at 5.30 to go to another restaurant (just them and child). They are starters and went. They said they hadn't realised this place was a fave restaurant & was close to their home. (So why go today). So we were left. It felt v awkward & like punishment for being late maybe. It had been lovely day and ended on weird vibes.
We finished our meal on own then went to another beautiful inn for pudding. After this I feel perplexed. AIBU to think their actions rude & far ruder than been late. We weren't intentionally late & just how it goes with traffic & teenagers.
I don't understand why we couldn't enjoy the meal together as planned. They booked it on the day (it felt like because we were late). We avoided confrontation but left sour note. Our children were perplexed. Just odd & awkward. This friend doesn't like confrontation even if it's "we were a bit sad you changed to go elsewhere" so she wouldn't discuss if I did. But I'm left feeling am I wrong. I just can't see myself having issues if they had longer to drive and was late & I would not change plans on a meal that was meant to be spent together. Xxx

@TFICoffeetime have you heard from them since OP?

Are you long time friends?

If they were upset you were late, they would have cut things short then and there.

For them to walk into a restaurant and suddenly announce that they were leaving to go to a different restaurant after the starter strongly implies that something happened after sitting down to eat. They were offended by something or had simply had enough of something and could not continue the meal.

I do not think that they made another reservation. This was an excuse, and not a good one.

Also, many posters here, including myself, would be far less frustrated and confused if you would write in complete sentences. You're too old to communicate like this, sorry.

Pretty sure an unexpected road diversion is a good reason to be late!

As is yours for backhanded calling me smug.

Backhanded? 😆

You could weigh in on my other post for why I think the meal was cut short if you like? Go the full hog of giving me your view.

Presumably just another pointless contribution.

@Angrymum22 exactly, if I am annoyed at a friend I would say so.

And why wait till after starters, why not leave before any food.

Given how confused we all are about ops posts maybe its just poor communication.

Did you agree to have 3 course dinner at 5pm, or did you agree you'd pop to x restaurant for a bite to eat? I recently met up with some friends at that sort of time. One didn't eat and just had a couple of drinks as they were having dinner with oh later, one had a starter as felt it was too early for a full meal, one had a main course and pudding, one just a pudding. It was quite funny but no one was upset at all as we'd all interpreted message about meeting up at the local hotel differently. The main confusion was the timing - most people wouldnt expect to be eating a full meal so early on. But it was the time that suited people best.

OP's friend were much ruder than OP. OP and her familywere late due to diversion from the motorway onto A roads and needing to stop to let one of her children have a wee. They weren't meeting for lunch, so their lateness didn't affect the other family having their lunch. OP kept them updated and apologised for the delay. The other family only had an hour's drive to where they had planned to meet whereas OP and her family had a 2.5 hour drive to whethere they were meeting.

Having chosen the restaurant and booked a table for dinner, the other family just ate their starters and left, having booked a table at another restaurant, leaving OP and her family on their own. That was incredibly rude and very odd.

OP's question in her original post is quite clear. She wanted to know whether her friend's actions in booking another restaurant without telling OP and just leaving OP and her family after eating their starters was ruder behaviour than OP's lateness.

Lots of people, including you, have been very rude to OP on this thread.

It's really very simple.

Your friends were pissed at you for being 40 mins late. They were even more pissed at your feeble excuses for being late e.g. teen was travel sick (why hadn't they taken Stugeron?) and letting the dog 'stretch its legs' (was this really necessary when you were already running late?).

You say you apologised for being late, but I bet you didn't seem remotely apologetic to them. You certainly don't sound even slightly apologetic on here.

Consequently they were seething and there was a frosty atmosphere, but I bet you were oblivious to OP because you seem very thick skinned and ignorant of 'what makes people tick.'

I expect this isn't the first time something like this has happened, is it? But this time your friends had just had enough. They left abruptly because it was either that OR tear a strip off you for your highly irritating, scatty behaviour. I'm confident your friends hadn't booked another restaurant at all, they just couldn't stand another 2 hours in your company).

To illustrate my point, why on Earth did you leave the restaurant after the main course and go and have pudding elsewhere? I find that both odd and very scatty. Also your stream of consciousness in your posts is pretty confusing to read. You make statements apropos of nothing else and you've come out with random non sequitur too. I think being in your company can be quite draining for many people.

I would absolutely love to hear your friend's side of the story.

Might be this, makes sense.

Oh dear OP you’re certainly being put through the mill here, I completely understand what you’re saying as you’ve been forced to repeat the same dialogue over and over, when it was obvious what you meant after the first few posts… it everyone in an argumentative mood today?
Forty minutes late isn’t too bad and so you say you kept in touch and apologised, it’s hardly the crime of the century.
Yes, they were extremely rude to leave and I’d step back a bit from the friendship and leave it to them to contact now. I can’t imagine any friends of mine doing anything like that, and I think it’s them that are inexcusable not you.

I must admit I’m with this poster on this one. When I read the OP I was definitely ‘Team OP’ therefore was very surprised to read subsequent posts calling OP rude etc .. and questioning the series if event in the OP. It’s clear enough to me

very odd/rude behaviour from other family

Very odd behaviour. I think something happened between the other couple, maybe they had an argument or something and made an excuse to leave. I don't think it's because of you. Maybe you can write to your friend saying you hope she's okay, was a shame that she left early and you hope everything is all right, and if they had to shoot off because of the delayed start to the day then once again, you're sorry. Can't do any more than that. If they left because you're late that's madness considering your 5 hour round trip.

They'd grabbed little walk & milkshake so not sure why it was big deal.

What?

There was no meal to miss. They booked it on day while we were there but away from us & announced when we were sat at our joint dinner reservation.

If there was no meal to miss, how did they walk out of it?

I cannot understand anything the OP writes. Just nothing.

Yes. And she's also confused 'being' with 'been' which changes the entire meaning of the sentence.

Actually, @TFICoffeetime another pp has made a very good point (sorry, didn’t think to quote it), and you might not like this, but there is the possibility that if your pupper had been swimming in the river before you went for your meal that he/she had that drying out, wet dog stink (which you, as a dog owner may not have noticed),and either friend or DH couldn’t eat around it, managed to scoff down their entrees, but couldn’t face their mains, and came up with a bizarrely cackhanded excuse to leave, rather than offend you by calling your dog stinky. Ironically, their stupid excuse, if this was the case, ended up confusing and offending you anyway.

I know to some this may sound extreme or strange, but I happen to be extremely sensitive to smells when eating, and certain smells (if strong enough) mean that I will literally not be able to stomach my food. May be way off track, but a possibility I suppose.

I hate being late, so this would have pissed me off (but that's a me problem).

I really can't understand why they did that though, it's so bizarre! I do wonder if it wasn't about you at all, but rather something going on between them.
Perhaps contact your friend to ask, as it makes no sense (to me!).

Yes they were rude. 40 mins late is annoying but on a fairly long distance trip these things happen even if you plan these days - the roads are far busier than 20 years ago. Also of course there are constant building and roadworks wherever you go!
I guess they are fairweather types. I wouldn't make an effort for people like this in future if I were you.

I think it's a bit odd what they did yeah.

40 mins late isn't great but if it wasn't something that you did often I would forgive it pretty easily, especially since you communicated and you are coming a long distance where lots of things can happen with traffic etc.

They spent a decent amount of time with you but also leaving after starters is cutting an activity short which is rude.

Also just seen that you mention it was a reservation, so yeah they should have stayed for the whole thing because you'd planned it in advance. If it was spontaneous decision, it wouldn't have mattered as much, if they'd let you know they had to leave early before you sat down.

Yes but you said this is how we are all feeling which isn't the case. I've already explained I might have had typos but what matter is number of children, if they are male or female.
It's clear I was asking about 2 things. Being late & the Comms I sent & the other family leaving the meal.
It's not that hard on the gist of it - your able to say. I've supplied more info but the amount of questions is a lot. I don't know why. I don't know if they didn't like the menu. I can only base my feelings off what I know.
The fact that some think it's unreasonable to stop off, or take a dog when our friends love our dog and we asked if they wanted us to leave or stay. I don't think I can keep answering minute detail. If it's not for you leave the post.
And stop saying a lot of us feel. You don't know these people and just as many feel all this is unnecessary.

It does sound like they were a bit pissed off that you were late despite the bloke asking of your DS……..he was only being polite I guess.

FWIW, I don’t think these friends are that much into you tbh…….seems like they turned up under pressure, you being late was a nail in the coffin and they legged it!

Perhaps don’t bother with them…….unless they make the first move at which point you could suggest somewhere much closer to you so they’ll have to endure the longer journey……better for DS with the travel sickness too.

@SaladAndChipsForTea

if you weren't so up yourself

Do you think before you write? Don't answer that. 😆😆
I'm not the one who felt the need to give the OP helpful tips like stay over the night before to avoid being 40 mins late. But perhaps @TFICoffeetime does find it useful...

Try reading the full thread then - the situation has been clarified several times now. “Friend” and family had a milkshake and a walk while waiting for OP to arrive to start their day.

They didn’t miss a lunch because lunch wasn’t in the plans. They didn’t miss dinner because it was booked for much later in the day, after OP and the other family had spent 3hrs swimming and wandering.

The meal that was “abandoned” was the planned and booked dinner, that the “friend” and family scoffed down an entree then announced that they were off to a different restaurant, sans OP & family, to have the rest of their dinner there.

Edited to change ice cream to milkshake.**

you are the riddler, you speak in riddles. I'm reasonably confident they left because you were riddling about all over the shop with your double speak.

Presumably this sounded a lot funnier in your head?