To be surprised by the names of the “posh kids” at DDs school

[marilee]

Hi all, my DD just started primary 1. The catchment area for her new school is super mixed with all the nicest houses in the town but also 2 council areas so a real mix. We live in a council flat, I can’t say I’ve rubbed shoulders with the more middle class half of the town and I grew up in a firmly working class area so this is the first time in my life I’m properly mixing with this group (I know that’s awful but it’s just how life has been for me so far).

I don’t know why but I was expecting all the posh kids to have more extravagant names but almost every single one of them is just a very basic name (James, Harry, Anna, Clara, Emily, Emma etc.). While the names I’d normally have associated as being more “posh” are actually the names of the kids from my area (Rafferty, Arabella, Florence, Theodore).

AIBU to be shocked by this? Is this normal or a little regional quirk?

So everyone should just name their children one of a short list of classic names? Like biblical names or something? How boring! I love variety in names. Especially as in my friendship group and children's school lots of those names also reflect different heritages and cultures. Same with my children, their names are from mine & husband's culture And guess what - ALL children are special!

WTF?! 😂 now, clam down with this nonsense. We can all pretend you’re middle class if you want wishing, no need to lash out

You are misunderstanding

Noone is saying what you can/cannot call your child

The point is, what some people hope a name signifies isn't the same as what it actually signifies.

So choose a name because you like it and it means something to you, not for it's aspirational qualities.

Hector is a popular name in a variety of countries - the entire Spanish speaking world, Scotland.

I see this a lot with names - people are making assumptions the name is because of X or Y fanciful reason, but it’s actually just culturally normal to the person using it.

I used to teach in a school in a very wealthy area. Those names were all popular as was Arabella. Very much a luvvie type area.

Ah yeah, I know two Hectors and both have parents who are very focussed on trying to present as "posh" . Neither have Spanish or Scottish roots

Gary is a funny name for a house!

Look at the names of the Royals - Elizabeth, Charles, Anne, Andrew, Edward, William, Henry/Harry, William, Charlotte, George, Sophie - all old ‘passed through the generations’ names. Zara is a break with tradition, as are Archie and Lilibet, but mostly they have ‘trad’ names that are classless and ageless. They won’t go out of style, they’re easy to spell, dignified, relatively common and non-remarkable, and that means the names are unburdened by perceptions of class/wealth/behaviour so it doesn’t become part of their personality or how they’re treated. As someone with a more unusual ‘niche’ name I made sure my kids had ‘boring’ names that could take them anywhere. They will always find their names on gift shop pens!

As someone with a more unusual ‘niche’ name I made sure my kids had ‘boring’ names that could take them anywhere. They will always find their names on gift shop pens!

My name has been the bane of my life since I could talk, so I sympathise!

Truly posh British people are unconscious of the fact they are posh, and wouldn't dream of using pretentious names, with the rare occasional exception of an unusual name which has been used in the family for centuries.

YABU. We live in a very well to do area; DC’s primary school is mixed, as they all are, but the upper middle classes are definitely over represented. Every child in the class has what I’d call a “normal” name.

Don’t believe everything you read on the internet.

I know a wonderful Rafferty. He really suits his name.

He is an Irish Terrier!

I think whether a name is ‘posh’ or ‘common’ largely depends on the person it’s attached to, generally speaking names like Savannah and Archie are used by working class people but no one could accuse the royals of being working class, whereas Sebastian was generally considered posh but there are several at DDs school who are anything but.

Friends of mine who are solidly middle class, teacher and doctor, gave their kids really unusual names usually associated with lower working class families, when they were born every time I saw mutual friends they would sort of whisper ‘can you believe the names they’ve picked, they’re awful’ and I really worry about when these kids are older are people going to see their names on a CV and dismiss them out of hand or make assumptions about them that aren’t true?

I don’t know where you are but you will not be free of class. Australia, Holland, the US, France, Italy, Germany - the list goes on, all class ridden and elitism in their own manner

hoity-toity accents

Do your zip up please, your inverse snobbery is showing.

No, you're just an inverse snob

Or just being goady.

Is your old man a dustman, by any chance, @marilee?

i work in a school.. what you say isn’t shocking to me. The kids with the daftest names are usually what you call working class/on benefits.

but the kids with traditional names are often middle class. It was actually two of the teachers who gave there views to me on it. They said middle class people know a name is one of the best gifts you can give you child so they choose it wisely.

The teachers also said they can predict how kids with behave etc just by looking at the names on there register before they’ve even met the kids.

Eleanor, Alexandra and James = behave well
Blake, Chardonnay & bhodi =don’t behave

Very self-consciously posh names do feel a bit tryhard to me. Old and unusual names have been in style, so a lot of people have named their kids long obscure-sounding names in a way that they wouldn't before. There was a general trend a few years ago for long flowery girls names that start and end with A, as well as typical old fashioned names like Agnes, Agatha etc.

Arabella, Florence, Theodore Are out dated and posh people now wouldn’t touch them names.

rafferty is a Irish surname

In my experience, old money tend to use very ordinary names. Names many would consider posh are usually used by new money or people who aspire to be posh.

Mumsnet is so fascinated by the perception of “old money”. I wonder how long it will be held on to. 2030, 2040? Old old money

There is more than one type/level of posh.

It does work the other way. Chavvy family’s can be snobby looking down on the family’s who are not
like them.

Why are we still talking about class in 2025? No one works in the mills or down the pit any more.