To be surprised by the names of the “posh kids” at DDs school

[marilee]

Hi all, my DD just started primary 1. The catchment area for her new school is super mixed with all the nicest houses in the town but also 2 council areas so a real mix. We live in a council flat, I can’t say I’ve rubbed shoulders with the more middle class half of the town and I grew up in a firmly working class area so this is the first time in my life I’m properly mixing with this group (I know that’s awful but it’s just how life has been for me so far).

I don’t know why but I was expecting all the posh kids to have more extravagant names but almost every single one of them is just a very basic name (James, Harry, Anna, Clara, Emily, Emma etc.). While the names I’d normally have associated as being more “posh” are actually the names of the kids from my area (Rafferty, Arabella, Florence, Theodore).

AIBU to be shocked by this? Is this normal or a little regional quirk?

Raftery is exceptionally unusual as a first name in Ireland too though, notwithstanding the bard’s fame.

Yes, I agree - and in fact one reason I remember the name is the response of a sub teacher who hadn't been provided with a roll call list and asked the class to give her their names, beginning with the front row of desks and going left to right. After she dished out a detention to poor Raftery for pulling her leg and taking the joke too far, she moved on. The kid beside him apparently had a surname like 'ffrench-Montague-Nesbitt', and the day devolved into mayhem...

Why does a 45 year old thinking they are tacky names mean that no teacher will have them in their classes?

I know more than one young Bodhi!

Statistics show about 3.5k girls were named Chardonnay in 2020 so tgey will all be at school or starting in a few days

Err, no. Six girls were named Chardonnay in 2020 in England and Wales, making it the 3447th most popular girls' name that year
https://names.darkgreener.com/#chardonnay

Middle class people give their children simple timeless classic names.
The Florences and Arabellas and Theodores will be at private school.

I’m in my forties but one of my school friends - who was called Joanna and lived in a council house - had younger sisters called Mandy, Amy and… Lucinda.

Arabella is a beautiful name with a history dating back centuries. I don’t know what people think is supposed to be wrong with that.

I’m in my 40s with four boys, in no particular order, one has a Biblical name (think Noah, Jacob but not haha), one has a (probably viewed as a bit beige) typical old man working on the docks name, one has a (family related), what would traditionally be a surname but turned out to be very popular first name name, and the other has a bit of a Nickname-y name. My kids all love their names, none of them have ever gotten teased for them. They’ve gone to a variety of schools based on their needs and stages - academically selective, state (public here in Australia), private. I (and my recently deceased husband) work full time in infrastructure and emergency services, own our home etc. I know it’s different in Australia (although not quite as different as you might think), but I wonder what category of class people would put us (me) into, based on my children’s names. FWIW, they range from wouldn't step a foot out of line, to AuDHD impulsive sometimes, to mostly very well behaved but can act up a bit when mercury is in retrograde 😂(that last bit is tongue in cheek, I’m not a mercury in retrograde kind of person in the slightest).

My friends mother is a Lucinda and definitely working class.

To be honest. l couldn't.care less about massively specialised, overpriced shops.Where silly, insecure, aspiring people buy stuff they could get for half the price at somewhere like Sainsbury.

It is just a pose really. Bragging rights to say they shop at these places.

In fairness, some of the stock might be equivalent but some of it won't be. There are lots of varieties of cheese that mainstream supermarkets don't stock.

Wrong. There are 3 Florences, and 3 Theodores at the local public primary school.

I also know a couple of working class Lucindas.

It's bonkers isn't it? And the wannabe poshos who buy their cheese from speshul middle/upper class cheesy places, just have to tell you that they bought their cheese at this very speshul 'only posh people shop there' place.

Vom-inducing. 😖

Thats
So not even worth worry about. Whats the hassle?

And I know four Florences and one Theodore at a (very posh, very expensive) independent prep.

Names can be (and ARE) used by lots of people and if people want to name their dc outside their supposed "class" I say go for it.

Clara was definitely working class back in the day....

... and the roughest bloke I know is a William.

It’s really bizarre to have a chip on your shoulder about independent shops.

Why do you think it is the working classes using aspirational names though? My great aunt Flo was living in a council flat in east London 40 years ago and was definitely working class. She, and all of her many siblings had similarly classic names - Elizabeth, George, etc. Why would you think those names 'belong' to the middle classes and are borrowed by the working classes? Why not the other way round?

That's bollocks. It's a question of quality. It's like the difference between Mother's Pride and a sourdough that takes days to make. Cheeses in supermarkets are mostly mass produced and they are not kept properly. It's absolute fine to buy those if that's what you want or can afford but don't knock people who are keeping craft industries going, producing a top-quality product, and making a much smaller margin than the supermarkets are.

I didn't say that.

But the truth is I don't know a Lady Kayleigh.

That said, as I noted upthread, I think a lot of people are casting a lot wider with names, and the example I gave was the current tranche of young royals.

I was at school with someone with no Spanish ancestry called "Fiesta". As an adult, I've often wondered if her parents were just early adopters of the trend to name your kid after where they were conceived.

My grandmother was a working class Florence born in the 1910s. As a young woman sometime around 1930 she went to work in a very seriously posh household (very Downton Abbey). The cook's response when she introduced herself was to ask: "Do you have any other names, as that one isn't suitable for a scullery maid". She was known by her middle name of Mary for the duration of her time there.