To be surprised by the names of the “posh kids” at DDs school

[marilee]

Hi all, my DD just started primary 1. The catchment area for her new school is super mixed with all the nicest houses in the town but also 2 council areas so a real mix. We live in a council flat, I can’t say I’ve rubbed shoulders with the more middle class half of the town and I grew up in a firmly working class area so this is the first time in my life I’m properly mixing with this group (I know that’s awful but it’s just how life has been for me so far).

I don’t know why but I was expecting all the posh kids to have more extravagant names but almost every single one of them is just a very basic name (James, Harry, Anna, Clara, Emily, Emma etc.). While the names I’d normally have associated as being more “posh” are actually the names of the kids from my area (Rafferty, Arabella, Florence, Theodore).

AIBU to be shocked by this? Is this normal or a little regional quirk?

Rafferty is an Irish surname. I don't think traditional "posh" English people would be particularly into it given their history of anti-Irish sentiment.

Genuinely “posh” or upper/upper middle people tend to avoid names which are fussy, flash or fashionable. The names you have listed are much more likely to be chosen by aspirational working class people.

Upper/upper middle people tend to hate anything that makes it look like you’re trying.

I think you probably know this already though?

It is only good if the posh families aren’t snobby, in a lot of cases they most definitely are, which causes bullying problems.

We've had Hector in the family.

I'm glad I have my children names that probably can't be linked to class. One is only popular in a different country so I rarely hear it and the other is quite classic but we only use a nickname and I've never associated it with any class

It's almost as though lazy stereotypes are just that. The children in the council estate down the road aren't all called Milleigh-Maie and Konna either...

Genuinely well off families don't have to overthink the stuff like names or clothes or cars .....
No reason to.
I would like to say I have never thought about class I relation to children's names, but it is a thing definitely. However a name is just a name, it doesn't define someone.

We all know exactly what you mean and people pretending they don’t are being disingenuous. In my area working class kids are still called Ruby, Amelia, Alfie, Callum etc. Posher kids are Raffie, Felix, Martha, Sebastian.

Their intrinsic worth as human beings is not affected.

My kids are James and Anna and this thread just made me laugh out loud!! 😆 thanks OP.

I agree that posh kids can be snobby, but at the very worst they will just ignore, or perhaps some name calling without causing physical pain. They do bully different to working class kids, but the threat of physical harm is more real in the working class. Both forms of bullying is horrible, but let's not pretend the rough working class are capable of a lot worst with often the parents joining in.

This has to be a parody comment

I live in quite a posh area and the names are a wholly unremarkable spread tbh.

I can’t think of any that I think are overtly ‘posh’, mainly a mix from the top 50 or so of names - and lots I would consider ‘trendy’ that will probably be out of fashion in ten years!

Names are funny - when I was at school being called Leo, Theo, Oscar or Isabella, Sophia or Florence would just be regarded as so posh and probably ‘try hard’ where I grew up, and now every other child is called them! Funny how our brains cling onto these strange preconceptions about names.

Arabella is the opposite of posh.

How do you know which kids live in which area? They have only just started school.

I work with a real social class mix of people from living pay day to pay day in council homes right through to very well off living in very expensive homes ect. I find that the nicest most down to earth are the people at each end of the social spectrum and the people in the middle are the ones who feel they have something to prove. Of course I am generalising and mean no offence to anyone 😱
Just speaking from my own experience

That’s a load of crap, but you obviously have some baggage. Sorry things have been tough for you.

I remember being shocked when Princess Anne’s grandchildren were named Mia and Savannah, as both were very popular names in my northern working class town at the time.

Normal. Frilly names are ‘try hard’ (or VERY posh). The comfortable middle classes don’t need to try to impress anyone.

An extravagant name is the quickest indicator of new money.

And I pity any child whose parents wanted to name them ‘something a bit different’.

Why do you want that? Why do you want them to stand out? It speaks volumes as to the parental expectation and also to how ‘special’ they think their child is.

Agreed. And the worst people are those who grew up middle class but want to claim working class hardship eg “I went to a bog standard comp” but they also did ballet and played the harp and had tutors and parents who went to Oxbridge, skiing holidays, and lived in big detached houses with large gardens etc etc.

And for some reason I don’t think you’re working class or live in a council flat.

Funny you should say that - I read the OP and thought the same thing too.

Lovely names!

I know what you mean and ignore the catty comments, the true 'old money' type names do seem to be more 'simple' names like James. Look at Louis, Charlotte, George.

Anything extravagant or "different" tends to be an indicator that the parents are working class or new money. The middle classes will name their children something classic and unassuming; there is no need for them to try and stand out through a name. I'm assuming these are also state school kids so surely they are unlikely to be too "posh" in the traditional sense?

Agreed.

Why not?