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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU suggesting partner get rid of his new puppy

110 replies

Unsure333 · 30/08/2025 19:41

Hi all, a bit of backstory. My partner has been wanting to get a puppy for a while. I already have an elderly dog and an almost 2 year old puppy. I dont have a problem with him getting any animal he wants, as long as he looks after it. We talked for a few months and he agreed he would do the majority of work with new pup, just as i have mine.
I have recently gone back into education and have to be up for 5.30 to get myself ready before getting daughter ready for school and running for the train so i dont want to be up all hours house training a new pup. I also have a physical disability that has worsened over the years so i cant bend down to pick things up without being in pain.

Fast forward to last week, partner found his perfect dog. She is beautiful and so loving BUT since having his perfect dog, partner is yet to do anything with her. In the time she had been with us, he's fed her once. The rest of the times have been left to me, including the playing and walking etc...

Last night me and my daughter went to my sisters for a girly sleepover before school starts. I offered to take the dogs with me but partner insisted he could take care of them. I left around 7pm so they were all sorted for the night. Today i got home at around 1pm, the parrot had'nt been uncovered and let out and non of the dogs had been fed. The pup is on 3 meals a day. Meaning shes only had 2.

So my question is aibu to tell him to get rid?

To note* i do not agree with getting animals and selling them. I just dont know what to do, my schedule is already so busy without adding a puppy to the mix.

OP posts:
Rhubarbandgooseburycrumble · 30/08/2025 19:44

I’d be dumping the partner, hate anyone that’s cruel and neglectful to animals.

Shitmonger · 30/08/2025 19:45

I’d get rid of both him and the puppy as he sounds useless.

He couldn’t be bothered to feed an elderly dog and a young puppy? And leaving the poor parrot covered for most of the day is just mean.

Daleksatemyshed · 30/08/2025 19:45

He's being totally unfair to you and the puppy, he's an adult so it's his job to take care of the dog. The puppy would be much better off with someone who loved and cared for it

OfftoWorkIGo · 30/08/2025 19:45

What’s wrong with him? Why is he not feeding the pets? That is actually cruel.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 30/08/2025 19:45

Kick him into touch. He's lazy and neglectful.

Robin67 · 30/08/2025 19:45

What does he say when you bring this up with him.
YANBU but he is being a neglectful tosser.

themonkeysnuts · 30/08/2025 19:46

My thoughts exactly @Shitmonger

DisplayPurposesOnly · 30/08/2025 19:47

My parrot would be devastated to be left covered all that time.

I'm actually quite angry reading about your shitty partner.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 30/08/2025 19:47

Absolutely unreasonable.

You need to get rid of him.

Wedonttalkaboutboris · 30/08/2025 19:48

I’d get rid of him

thistimelastweek · 30/08/2025 19:48

Why did he want a puppy if he didn't want to look after it?

AbzMoz · 30/08/2025 19:49

Keep the puppy, ditch the bloke.

Robin67 · 30/08/2025 19:51

Also, I don't know if this is even on the cards, but please think very carefully before reproducing with such a person. He sounds like he will also make a naff father

Silverbirchleaf · 30/08/2025 19:54

If he’s not going to care for it, then definantly.?

istolethetalisker · 30/08/2025 19:54

Yeah I’d also break up with a man that neglected animals like that

Alltheyellowbirds · 30/08/2025 19:54

He sounds like a small child wanting a pet and then leaving it to mummy to look after. Gross in a grown man. Also concerning if he’s that useless with your daughter too.

Rightandwrong · 30/08/2025 20:09

Why do you want to continue in a relationship with someone who is cruel to animals.
If I'd come home and found he had neglected the pets in that way and caused them suffering then that would have been the end of things.
What a nasty cruel man.
And people who are cruel to animals are also more likely to be perpetrators of domestic violence.

TomatoSandwiches · 30/08/2025 20:10

He's a neglectful animal owner, you can't trust him to think about anything or anyone but himself.
Get rid of him and rehome the poor pup.

What a bastard.

ttcat37 · 30/08/2025 20:14

DisplayPurposesOnly · 30/08/2025 19:47

My parrot would be devastated to be left covered all that time.

I'm actually quite angry reading about your shitty partner.

Bet your parrot is more devastated about living in a cage rather than the wild

Stompythedinosaur · 30/08/2025 20:19

Jesus, how can someone who obviously lives animals be in a relationship with someone you is casually abusive to them? Why on earth didn't he feed the poor thing?

CatamaranViper · 30/08/2025 20:21

Do you live together? In which case you both need to be in agreement when buying a pet and commit to taking care of it. Wouldn't make sense for a pet to only belong to one person imo.

It sounds like he views the pet as belonging to you both and as you're already well versed in taking care of animals, he's left it up to you. He isn't respecting your time or views and he isn't respecting the helpless animals he's brought into things...

Doesn't sound like a good person to me

myplace · 30/08/2025 20:21

ttcat37 · 30/08/2025 20:14

Bet your parrot is more devastated about living in a cage rather than the wild

It will have no idea what ‘the wild’ is. Captive Parrots are all bred.

WellBing · 30/08/2025 20:22

I definitely don't think you're being unreasonable. I look after my son's guinea pigs most of the time but he is a teenager so not surprising. Your husband is a grown up. Maybe give him a chance to chip in a week or so and if nothing changes the dog has to go x

AngryBookworm · 30/08/2025 20:24

Definitely tell him to get rid of it and I'd be reconsidering a relationship with him tbh. Puppies can be difficult to look after but if he hasn't even managed to feed it (and uncover the parrot, poor thing) then he's not going to commit to the rest of the hard work. Better to rehome the puppy before it gets too attached to you. For the puppy's sake get the poor thing a responsible home before you kick him out so he doesn't take it with him.

AgentPidge · 30/08/2025 20:42

Keep the puppy and re-home your partner. He doesn't deserve to have animals, or dch. When is he going to grow up?

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