Would you stay in the cellar or in a hotel room

[Cellarorhotel]

Dh and I have distanced ourselves from his family for various reasons but we now have a newborn (5 months old in december) and it is his grandfather's birthday in December. He is 93 so likely to be his last. He has always loved his grandchildren and is very excited about any great grandchild. MIL (his daughter) has 4 kids and 3 kids plus partners will be there including us

There are 3 bedrooms plus a cellar where there is a sofa bed. Bedroom 1 is for DH's grandpa, MIL shares a room with single daughter. So last bedroom up for grabs. The last time we were there 2 years ago during fhe same time, it was occupied by sister no 2 and her fiancee. DH's married sister and her husband plus her MIL plus 1 year old stayed at a nearby hotel in 1 room (don't ask me why her MIL tagged along).

We usually book a hotel room but in my early married years we stayed in fhe cellar. I didn't mind it as we were young and skint and didn't have a baby. However that was only for 1 year as we always had enough money that we didn't think much of booking a local hotel for 2 weeks. We had a 6 figure household income and our mortgage was 2% and we went on loads of holidays.

However I have been on stat maternity pay and dh is worried about his job (so worried he is spending lots of time looking for one). Baby is very attached to me so i plan to find a new job where it is easier to fit around childcare and also want to be at home for 9 months. We have a mortgage (1282 for our london flat) and it's been expensive with a baby. We have around 37k in savings but a lot of that is earmarked for the future . Also dh sister is getting married next month so we are also spending money on hotels for that.

Logically we should just stay in the cellar but I remember it being cold (dh says its heated, I only remember it being cold cos the floors are made of stone and I don't wear socks in the house- the steps in that house are really steep so I am never sure why dh wears socks). Dh's family aren't the easiest either, as you can see, given we probably have to stay in the cellar with a baby. Dh asked his mum and she said well your sister is staying in fhe bedroom. At that time her partner was only the boyfriend and he refused to stay in the cellar hence why the other sister with the one year old baby had to stay in a hotel (which i think she could only afford cos the MIL and her went halves). I find being a new mum stressful, the idea of doing night feeds and all with them around is causing me anxiety so much so that I almost want to volunteer to stay in the cellar but yet I am worried about health impact on my baby. It is a converted cellar but mainly used for storage.

It's also over Christmas so an overall expensive time to book hotels..

I’d stay in the cellar (as long as it isn’t mouldy) but have a refundable hotel booking for the last week or so of the stay. That way, you can go and try it out. If it’s horrid, you can always move to the hotel for the rest of your stay and you will only have a few nights to endure. If it’s fine, however, you can cancel the hotel booking and save yourself some £££.

I’d also recommend you bring 3x hot water bottles: one for each of you and one to pre-warm the baby’s bed during the evening to remove any chill (but remove it at least 15 mins before the baby goes to bed so it doesn’t overheat them). That’s what I used to do when visiting family who lived in a farmhouse - it was ALWAYS cold!

I really don't think sleeping in the living room or a cold, damp cellar are viable options though.

I would just suck up the cost of somewhere else to stay for the visit, and if the family don't like it then tough. They aren't exactly making the OP and her family feel welcome.

@Cellarorhotel have you looked at Airbnb or other self catering options?

Does the cellar have a window that would be accessible as a fire exit? If not I would not sleep down there and definitely not with a child. Such a room would not be building reg compliant in the UK for use as a bedroom. If a fire broke out above you would be trapped.

Aside from that I don't think it's a good idea for a baby to sleep in a cold damp room. And the slippery steep stairs (especially while carrying a baby) sound like a hazard.

I would push again for the upstairs bedroom and if the answer is still no them say you'll consider a hotel but I'd it's not affordable you won't be able to accompany DH and neither will baby.

So why do you keep bleating on about the cost?

Is there a compromise so you stay 1-2 nights at the house at the start and end, or just for a part of it ? Means you cut down on accommodation costs, particularly if you can avoid very expensive hotel nights, reduce transport times and costs for the time spent with relatives and have a good excuse to do your own thing on the other days.

Take slippers and extra blankets. Unless the heated celler is excessively cold it will be absolutely fine.

I wouldn't go. Can your DH go on his own? None of them are making you and your baby welcome so I'm not sure why you are spending all this money to be really uncomfortable for 11 days, worrying whether your baby is warm enough and trying not to fall down a lot of steep stone or marble stairs. None of this sounds very Christmassy.

Get
Your
Husband
To
Text
His
Sister
And
Ask

Or get him to talk to her like a normal person.

It's mil making the decisions so that wouldn't help.. as to why she is making the decisions for a 30 year old married woman, that is another thread.

Also it wouldn't help. This isn't the first fime a couple with a baby had to stay in a hotel. Dh sister and her fiancee occupied a room just because her fiancee at that time (now husband) didn't want fo sleep in the cellar.

You're making an assumption what have you got to lose by DH asking his sister directly? It's nothing to do with MIL if they agree between them to swap

So you've found 2 hotels: 1 for £650 (which for 11 nights is ridiculously cheap) that I presume is close by, and one for about £100 less that would involve a 2 hour round trip, plus the cost of transport?

Going for the cheaper hotel is definitely a false economy.

A steep narrow "very slippery" marble staircase into a cold cellar that's really a workshop, not a guest room...
Husband won't wear grip shoes and could be carrying a new born baby down that?
Sorry but that does not sounds suitable accommodation. That's why holiday homes have to state if a place has steep staircases etc.

For heavens sake. Say no. Book a hotel and shorten the holiday.
Keep your baby safe.

If you are determined to go, it won't make that much of a dent in your already substantial savings. You already have so many misgivings about the cellar. Why put yourselves through that to save a bit of money. Getting used to a newborn is hard enough. It's your time to enjoy and get used to your baby.

The cellar is impractical for a newborn. I think you could end up regretting it if you stay there.
Also, its not like his selfish family give a crap about your comfort and being bottled up with them for a ridiculously long 11 days is nuts, you may be longing to escape for a bit, and therefore you might be a lot better off in a comfy hotel, getting what sleep and rest you can and breastfeeding in private.

sorry I've just seen that you are looking at hotels. Good idea. I also think factoring in the cost of going back and forth might outweigh a slightly more expensive but nearby hotel.

As your DH really wants his 11 days with GF... I think this is one occasion where you have to bite the bullet and ensure that wherever you eventually stay is safe, suitable and makes your lives easier. Even if you do have to pay.

It's Christmas. Book an Airbnb, an apartment and enjoy. That way you can stay there when DH visits his family if you want to. You have more income, savings and less expenditure than many on this thread - you've booked the flights so now make it enjoyable.

Go, buy socks with the little grip pads on the bottom. If the cellar seems too cold, then your DH has to ask his siter to swap rooms 'for the baby'.

If she won't swap, then decamp to the cheapest hotel option.

At least this shows you gave the cellar a go.

I’m not sure why this is a post. You’re asking people if it’s suitable to sleep in a cellar that we have never seen yet you have stayed there before. Therefore you should know whether it’s acceptable for your baby or not.
My parents have a cellar which I would not sleep in let alone a baby. But it seems actually to be ok other than the cold floor? And presumably the baby isn’t going to sleep on the floor so non issue. The stairs, your DH is just being ridiculous. If it’s slippy then why would you refuse to wear shoes?! Sounds like you have already made your mind up that you don’t want to sleep in the cellar and just want validation.
But it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. If you don’t want to stay there then don’t stay there. If you can’t afford a hotel then make your apologies and don’t go. It’s that simple really. Better to lose £120 than pay for something you can’t afford. Or you can afford it but rather wouldn’t pay, hence debating staying in a cellar that you clearly don’t want to do? Madness. Just make a decision with your husband!

Premier Inn? air Band B. Not the cellar with cold floors, dodgy steps and a baby.

Get an Airbnb. I could not stay in anyone’s house for that long.

I'm still stuck on how much the grandfather drinks. Why would you want to stay there, let alone with a baby? Get the hotel or don’t go.

I wouldn't stay in a cellar for eleven minutes, let alone eleven nights. I don't do Underground.

So let me get this straight, your MIL is happy for her 5-month old grandchild to sleep in a cold cellar for 11 nights, whilst her daughter’s husband gets to opt out of sleeping in the cellar because he doesn't fancy it? I don’t blame you for distancing yourselves from them! It sounds like a very unhealthy family dynamic and for that reason I’m not going to say “why doesn’t your husband ask his sister to swap?” - that might seem like the obvious solution to an outsider but I know what it’s like when you can’t speak your mind to your own family for fear of upsetting someone and then having to deal with the consequences! If you can’t insist on having a proper bedroom because of the baby, then your only options are to fork out for a hotel or to pack lots of blankets and some non-slip socks, and make sure this is your last visit!

A cool sleeping environment is good for ia all, get wrapped up and put in a small heater?

She says it’s a converted cellar not the Hollywood version with no windows and water running down mouldy walls.