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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you stay in the cellar or in a hotel room

165 replies

Cellarorhotel · 30/08/2025 18:06

Dh and I have distanced ourselves from his family for various reasons but we now have a newborn (5 months old in december) and it is his grandfather's birthday in December. He is 93 so likely to be his last. He has always loved his grandchildren and is very excited about any great grandchild. MIL (his daughter) has 4 kids and 3 kids plus partners will be there including us

There are 3 bedrooms plus a cellar where there is a sofa bed. Bedroom 1 is for DH's grandpa, MIL shares a room with single daughter. So last bedroom up for grabs. The last time we were there 2 years ago during fhe same time, it was occupied by sister no 2 and her fiancee. DH's married sister and her husband plus her MIL plus 1 year old stayed at a nearby hotel in 1 room (don't ask me why her MIL tagged along).

We usually book a hotel room but in my early married years we stayed in fhe cellar. I didn't mind it as we were young and skint and didn't have a baby. However that was only for 1 year as we always had enough money that we didn't think much of booking a local hotel for 2 weeks. We had a 6 figure household income and our mortgage was 2% and we went on loads of holidays.

However I have been on stat maternity pay and dh is worried about his job (so worried he is spending lots of time looking for one). Baby is very attached to me so i plan to find a new job where it is easier to fit around childcare and also want to be at home for 9 months. We have a mortgage (1282 for our london flat) and it's been expensive with a baby. We have around 37k in savings but a lot of that is earmarked for the future . Also dh sister is getting married next month so we are also spending money on hotels for that.

Logically we should just stay in the cellar but I remember it being cold (dh says its heated, I only remember it being cold cos the floors are made of stone and I don't wear socks in the house- the steps in that house are really steep so I am never sure why dh wears socks). Dh's family aren't the easiest either, as you can see, given we probably have to stay in the cellar with a baby. Dh asked his mum and she said well your sister is staying in fhe bedroom. At that time her partner was only the boyfriend and he refused to stay in the cellar hence why the other sister with the one year old baby had to stay in a hotel (which i think she could only afford cos the MIL and her went halves). I find being a new mum stressful, the idea of doing night feeds and all with them around is causing me anxiety so much so that I almost want to volunteer to stay in the cellar but yet I am worried about health impact on my baby. It is a converted cellar but mainly used for storage.

It's also over Christmas so an overall expensive time to book hotels..

OP posts:
lottiegarbanzo · 31/08/2025 08:42

Find an air b&b so you have your own space.

Fizzfamm · 31/08/2025 08:43

Just stay in the cellar. People go camping with babies all the time and it's fine!

Original poster
Cellarorhotel · 31/08/2025 08:44

chunkybear · 31/08/2025 07:06

11 days! This year I’d be staring over night only, unless the other siblings pitch in for some money towards the hotel considering they’re all rent free!

Perhaps it's unusual that we have done this for years and I remember this silly expressing shock we weren't coming one year (cos my sister was getting married at the same time). Gosh every time we go we basically pay.

OP posts:
Lex345 · 31/08/2025 08:44

Can you not just sleep in the living room or other reception room?

Original poster
Cellarorhotel · 31/08/2025 08:47

Lex345 · 31/08/2025 08:44

Can you not just sleep in the living room or other reception room?

A single person could do that but the living room has these large leather sofas plus lots of large furniture. There isn't space for 2 adults and a baby.

Dh always went in the cellar even when he was a little boy.

OP posts:
Lex345 · 31/08/2025 08:48

Cellarorhotel · 31/08/2025 08:47

A single person could do that but the living room has these large leather sofas plus lots of large furniture. There isn't space for 2 adults and a baby.

Dh always went in the cellar even when he was a little boy.

Show quote history

Where will you all sit if the living room is so small?

If its this tiny book a hotel

MyTommyGunDont · 31/08/2025 08:52

Cellarorhotel · 30/08/2025 19:03

We overpaid our mortgage by 30k (so mortgage payments would be lower during maternity leave and also our interest rate doubled) and i had several months of unemployment before so eroded a big chunk. Also spent 10k paying back dh student loan in full so no student loan deduction.We also only had 6 figures from 2022.

Edited
Show quote history

Don’t feel bad about this - I’m also in a six figure household with similar savings. We too prioritise mortgage overpayment and also pension contributions.

JamesWebbSpaceTelescope · 31/08/2025 08:54

Babies do fine in cooler environments, so long as the cellar isn’t damp (you haven’t mentioned it is!) then I would go with that. Then you have a whole floor to yourselves to escape to when you need to.

Lined crocs are great for keeping feet warm and not being slippy at all. Totally get why you are reluctant to just wear socks with marble stairs but it is a tad unreasonable to expect to go bare foot in winter and complain about being cold.

Crunchymum · 31/08/2025 08:54

This thread is wild.

So many obstructions to any sensible suggestions.

Go for less time, find cheaper accommodation, ask someone to swap rooms, suck up the cellar. All viable options seemingly poo-pooed by the OP.

Original poster
Cellarorhotel · 31/08/2025 08:55

Lex345 · 31/08/2025 08:48

Where will you all sit if the living room is so small?

If its this tiny book a hotel

Show quote history

One sil is nocturnal so not there most days. I do end up crosslegged on the floor a lot. It is actually quite large but it also has a dinner table and those large cabinets which cover a whole wall plus lots of stuff that old people tend to accumulate in boxes. TV. 2 big leather sofas.

OP posts:
Lex345 · 31/08/2025 08:57

Cellarorhotel · 31/08/2025 08:55

One sil is nocturnal so not there most days. I do end up crosslegged on the floor a lot. It is actually quite large but it also has a dinner table and those large cabinets which cover a whole wall plus lots of stuff that old people tend to accumulate in boxes. TV. 2 big leather sofas.

Show quote history

2 big leather sofas-one each for you and DH; there has to be room for a travel cot they aren't that big.

Or, stay in a hotel.

Original poster
Cellarorhotel · 31/08/2025 08:57

Crunchymum · 31/08/2025 08:54

This thread is wild.

So many obstructions to any sensible suggestions.

Go for less time, find cheaper accommodation, ask someone to swap rooms, suck up the cellar. All viable options seemingly poo-pooed by the OP.

WE havd asked to swap rooms. Changing dates over Christmas is about as expensive as several nights in a hotel room (as we also have points for hotel rooms that we accumulated over the years). I am asking if spending that money is necessary and I gather from this thread that it is.

OP posts:
Bonsaibaby · 31/08/2025 09:00

I’d go Airbnb rather than hotel and save money on food and value having a place to escape to! Don’t be afraid of saying we’re doing our own thing today

Original poster
Cellarorhotel · 31/08/2025 09:01

Crunchymum · 31/08/2025 08:54

This thread is wild.

So many obstructions to any sensible suggestions.

Go for less time, find cheaper accommodation, ask someone to swap rooms, suck up the cellar. All viable options seemingly poo-pooed by the OP.

The option i am considering now is staying in a town an hour away which can be 542 quid. As londoners we often commute with baby on the Tube anyway(even when he was 2 weeks) and often it can be an hour anyway.

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 31/08/2025 09:03

Cellarorhotel · 31/08/2025 08:57

WE havd asked to swap rooms. Changing dates over Christmas is about as expensive as several nights in a hotel room (as we also have points for hotel rooms that we accumulated over the years). I am asking if spending that money is necessary and I gather from this thread that it is.

Show quote history

You have also said you have significant savings and earnings so it's a tad disingenuous to ask "if it's worth spending the money" to have your stay in comfort.

I get if you're utterly skint but you aren't.

MsSmartShoes · 31/08/2025 09:05

i wouldn’t stay in the cellar.

Crunchymum · 31/08/2025 09:06

Cellarorhotel · 31/08/2025 09:01

The option i am considering now is staying in a town an hour away which can be 542 quid. As londoners we often commute with baby on the Tube anyway(even when he was 2 weeks) and often it can be an hour anyway.

Show quote history

So you're going to stay somewhere cheaper and commute using the equivalent of the Tube?

Or are you just telling us about the Tube anecdotally?

I am a Londoner too. I also got on the Tube with a newborn (and with a toddler and a pre schooler in tow) it's not a massively unusual thing to do.

JamesWebbSpaceTelescope · 31/08/2025 09:07

Just stay in the cellar and buy some jumpers and some base layers. The baby will be fine - get a higher tog sleeping bag.

You said the cellar felt cold, that implies a bit chilly, not below 15 degrees. Dress appropriately, wear something on your feet (if your feet get cold you will feel the chill) and get on with it.

Original poster
Cellarorhotel · 31/08/2025 09:07

R0ckandHardPlace · 31/08/2025 06:55

Are you just salty because SIL gets the other bedroom and you think you’re entitled to it because you’ve got a baby? Or do you expect MIL to pay for half your hotel too?

No it's just new territory for me cos I always could pay for the hotel without blinking but I guess now my circumstances have changed. Without the baby i wouldn't have thought twice and probably would have felt less guilty about asking dh to stay for less time if it wasn't for the great grandson factor.

Dh always says he doesn't have many years left and it could be the last time cos this grandpa has champagne for breakfast, a bottle of wine for lunch and many beers after dinner. He has done this for the entire time I have known him which is 12 years. We always thought poor grandpa wants to drink himself to death so dh's instinct is to spend more time with him.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cellarorhotel · 31/08/2025 09:09

Crunchymum · 31/08/2025 09:06

So you're going to stay somewhere cheaper and commute using the equivalent of the Tube?

Or are you just telling us about the Tube anecdotally?

I am a Londoner too. I also got on the Tube with a newborn (and with a toddler and a pre schooler in tow) it's not a massively unusual thing to do.

Edited
Show quote history

I am just saying that cos in my experience, a lot of people think an hour on public transport is too long for a baby. Even other londoners where we live in zone 3. But we are already used to it.

OP posts:
TammyJones · 31/08/2025 09:09

There is no way I’d spend 11 days in a cellar over Christmas ( baby or not)
Air b and b or wouldn’t go.

Original poster
Cellarorhotel · 31/08/2025 09:10

Crunchymum · 31/08/2025 09:03

You have also said you have significant savings and earnings so it's a tad disingenuous to ask "if it's worth spending the money" to have your stay in comfort.

I get if you're utterly skint but you aren't.

Edited
Show quote history

I am on mat pay and dh is worried about his job and we have a baby now so it's a bit different. I do get we are more fortunate than others

OP posts:
Lex345 · 31/08/2025 09:11

Cellarorhotel · 31/08/2025 09:07

No it's just new territory for me cos I always could pay for the hotel without blinking but I guess now my circumstances have changed. Without the baby i wouldn't have thought twice and probably would have felt less guilty about asking dh to stay for less time if it wasn't for the great grandson factor.

Dh always says he doesn't have many years left and it could be the last time cos this grandpa has champagne for breakfast, a bottle of wine for lunch and many beers after dinner. He has done this for the entire time I have known him which is 12 years. We always thought poor grandpa wants to drink himself to death so dh's instinct is to spend more time with him.

Show quote history

He drinks champagne, wine and beer all through the day, navigating a spiral marble staircase, and your question is whether to sleep in the cellar?!

STAY IN A HOTEL.

Crunchymum · 31/08/2025 09:11

Cellarorhotel · 31/08/2025 09:09

I am just saying that cos in my experience, a lot of people think an hour on public transport is too long for a baby. Even other londoners where we live in zone 3. But we are already used to it.

Show quote history

None of this is relevant though?

The Tube, what you pay on your mortgage, your DH's grandfather's drinking habits?

Twiglets1 · 31/08/2025 09:12

No way would I stay in a cellar for 11 nights especially with a tiny baby. I would be booking a self catering apartment nearby.