Would you stay in the cellar or in a hotel room

[Cellarorhotel]

Dh and I have distanced ourselves from his family for various reasons but we now have a newborn (5 months old in december) and it is his grandfather's birthday in December. He is 93 so likely to be his last. He has always loved his grandchildren and is very excited about any great grandchild. MIL (his daughter) has 4 kids and 3 kids plus partners will be there including us

There are 3 bedrooms plus a cellar where there is a sofa bed. Bedroom 1 is for DH's grandpa, MIL shares a room with single daughter. So last bedroom up for grabs. The last time we were there 2 years ago during fhe same time, it was occupied by sister no 2 and her fiancee. DH's married sister and her husband plus her MIL plus 1 year old stayed at a nearby hotel in 1 room (don't ask me why her MIL tagged along).

We usually book a hotel room but in my early married years we stayed in fhe cellar. I didn't mind it as we were young and skint and didn't have a baby. However that was only for 1 year as we always had enough money that we didn't think much of booking a local hotel for 2 weeks. We had a 6 figure household income and our mortgage was 2% and we went on loads of holidays.

However I have been on stat maternity pay and dh is worried about his job (so worried he is spending lots of time looking for one). Baby is very attached to me so i plan to find a new job where it is easier to fit around childcare and also want to be at home for 9 months. We have a mortgage (1282 for our london flat) and it's been expensive with a baby. We have around 37k in savings but a lot of that is earmarked for the future . Also dh sister is getting married next month so we are also spending money on hotels for that.

Logically we should just stay in the cellar but I remember it being cold (dh says its heated, I only remember it being cold cos the floors are made of stone and I don't wear socks in the house- the steps in that house are really steep so I am never sure why dh wears socks). Dh's family aren't the easiest either, as you can see, given we probably have to stay in the cellar with a baby. Dh asked his mum and she said well your sister is staying in fhe bedroom. At that time her partner was only the boyfriend and he refused to stay in the cellar hence why the other sister with the one year old baby had to stay in a hotel (which i think she could only afford cos the MIL and her went halves). I find being a new mum stressful, the idea of doing night feeds and all with them around is causing me anxiety so much so that I almost want to volunteer to stay in the cellar but yet I am worried about health impact on my baby. It is a converted cellar but mainly used for storage.

It's also over Christmas so an overall expensive time to book hotels..

You've got thirty seven grand sitting in the bank after paying a massive wodge off your mortgage and an entire student loan, pay less for mortgage than most people on forty grand pay for rent and got a great bargain on flights, making them cheaper than a train ticket from London to Penzance.

Just book a hotel.

Remind us again how much you earn, what your mortgage is and how much you have in savings? This time a bit louder for the people at the back.

Jesus wept. Imagine earning six figures but being unable to decide whether you can afford a hotel or not. And having to ask strangers online what to do.

What a bizarre first take on the situation; OP may have used savings for the deposit on their home. It takes a long time to build up £37k.

Surely just cos others go for a long visit doesn’t mean you have to. Cut it back to 4/5 days.

And, no, I would not stay in a cellar with a baby or small child.

11 days in a cellar in winter.. with stone floors.

I'd be worried about the baby's breathing in the cold stale air and if there is any sign of damp or mould.

What are they thinking making you stay in the cellar with a newborn.

The baby isn't a toy for Great Granddad... if they want you there they can provide decent accomodation.

I'd also worry about DH wearing socks on the stone stairs and carrying the baby.. I forgot about similar on a ski holiday.. took off my boots, started walking down cold stone stairs in me socks.. massive massive bruising and I was lucky not to break something.

Hotel or home.

airbnb? You won’t have much of a Christmas if your baby gets ill in a damp cold cellar.. and having a kitchen and extra room with a baby is so helpful..

11 days in a cellar with a baby and in a house with people you're distant from? I'd book the hotel and deal with the credit card later. No contest, none.

The baby isn't a toy for Great Granddad... if they want you there they can provide decent accomodation.

YES. Why haven't they?

@Cellarorhotel Cellar or hotel? I’d split it - both so you’re not with the difficult people too long and for finances. Spend the actual Christmas or birthday 5 days in the cellar and then decamp to a hotel for the quieter after Christmas days or vice versa.

I would probably not go and make it clear that I didn't want to sleep in a cellar with a newborn and steep stone steps for 11 days. Just have Christmas at home and go another time. It will not be that relaxing anyway looking after your baby with lots of people you're not that close too around you.

Take a little fan heater with you and sleep in the cellar, or if you feel more comfortable away from the difficult family, find an Air B&B.

This.

Dh asked about it and MIL said oh this daughter would want the room. This is my son's grandmother BTW.

I wouldn’t go into that.

The staircase to the bedrooms is also steep. It's one of those narrow spiral staircases (not a uk house). Also made of marble so v slippery. 93 year old grandpa is fine with it though so everyone else shouldn't find it an issue but they are still v steep and slippery..

The point is our income has gone down now with me on stat maternity pay and dh job being insecure. But in the past it wasn't an issue

So DH can text his sister and ask for the room, given that you have a baby.

I mean, this is the sensible and reasonable thing to do. And the sensible and reasonable reply from his sister should be “omg of course! The baby can’t sleep down there!”.

Yet we aren’t told why the 93-year old patriarch will NOT see his 94th birthday. Hmmmm….🕵🏻‍♀️

Average life expectancy for a man who has reached the age of 93 by 2025 is a further 3.27 years! I was surprised by that tbf. Although that's the UK and the patriarch in question is abroad. Still, bloody good innings.

Why? We have been 6 figures for last 5 years and have zero savings. Cost of living and mortgage interest eats every penny.

Not sorry that I can't get over anyone ever writing 'only' in front of £37k in savings, especially when it's known that the OP has been on maternity leave for nearly a year.

But the whole thread is odd.

Why is it 'likely to be Grandad's last Christmas' solely due to his age?

Why hasn't it occurred to the OP that wearing socks (and slippers) will do a lot to keep her feet warm.

Why is it just accepted that 'SIL won't stay in the cellar'?

The OP has done her share of staying in the cellar so this time, especially as they have the baby, I'd be saying that OP and DH can have the remaining bedroom and SIL can sleep in the cellar, otherwise they will suck up the loss of the £120 on flights, not go and have a quiet Christmas at home without all the drama.

Why do you need to stay for so long? I’d just book a hotel for less time.

I’d stay in the cellar for a few days if sister won’t agree to swap. I’m sure an oil filled radiator can be dug up from somewhere and you can wear slippers. (That ‘problem’ was the easiest one to sort.)
People camp with babies. Is it somewhere like Sweden or somewhere like Greece?
Hotel for the remainder. Or change flights so it’s only 4-5 days. Is it because you need to cover birthday plus Christmas?

No, I wouldn’t stay in the cellar…. But I also wouldn’t stay in a small house for that length of time with family I’m distanced from, it’d be challenging enough with family I’m close with!
I also wouldn’t spend savings (that are intended for other purposes) on a hotel for 11 days - holiday of a lifetime? Yes. Hometown seeing relatives that won’t even offer up a bedroom? No.

If there was a way to alter flights, I’d go for two to three nights. I could perhaps tolerate the cellar or manage the additional hotel cost for that length of time. I’d also genuinely consider not going and plan your own trip to see the grandfather when a bedroom is available and the house is not inundated with relatives you’re distanced from.

Hotel. Better for baby.