To tell my husband to stop saying this?

[cittykat]

my 9 year old son is a massive cat lover. He has cat slippers, tshirts, pens etc etc. I got him some cat pyjamas. These ones. https://amzn.to/45XnCwa

my husband (son’s dad) keeps telling him that he has to stop wearing them as they are girls’ pyjamas.

my son has said to him “please can you stop calling them girls’ pyjamas” and my husband says that he will be bullied if his friends see him wearing them. I have pointed out that the only one bullying him is his own father.

my husband says that telling him that they’re girls’ and not appropriate is not bullying it’s “parenting”

my husband thinks the shorts on the pyjamas are too short. Like little hot pants. Sometimes when son is lounging on the sofa they ride up and some bum cheek is visible. This angers husband and starts him off on his “girls’ pyjamas” conversation again.

son likes the pyjamas. I said I would ask on here what people thought. Please vote.

YANBU - your husband should stop calling them “girls’ pyjamas” to your son and back off

YABU - your son shouldn’t wear the pyjamas and your husband is right to protect him from future bullying if son’s friends saw the pyjamas on a sleepover.

My son wouldn't wear girl pyjamas if he knew they were marketed for girls. Does your son know that?

I wouldn't specifically buy girl pyjamas for my son either. I like cakes, aeroplanes and chocolate but I wouldn't specifically buy pyjamas with those on it. If he likes cats then can you get him a cat?

My son loves cats so we got him a cat. End of.

YANBU. Your son is 9 . He’s a little boy , he likes cats so is wearing cat pyjamas . I feel really sad for your son and you that your husband is trying to force him to grow up when he’s little. My son loves cats , he’s 11 , if he wanted to get them I would get them for him.

Yes, as he gets older he probably wouldn’t want to wear them or if he does not around friends - but NOT because they’re ‘girls’ pyjamas , but because he will be older .. but he can make that decision himself. My son loves all his teddies , he has loads, he had a sleepover recently and put some of them away … his choice .

I would be concerned on the influence your partner is having on your young son too , pushing this idea that men have to act a certain way and like certain things …. It is so damaging to young boys. I sympathise , my sons dad is a “ girls cry, boys don’t “ - I see the point to an extent ( that boys would get teased where girls wouldn’t so we need to be prepared ) but it’s not young boys that need to change and mask - it’s society that needs to change . I’m always in a battle with my son’s dad about it so I sympathise but categorically no , YANBU.

I think they look fine. They say 'girls' on them but that's probably only because they assume girls will be into cute cats rather than boys.

You’re an adult though. Surely you know that children like to express their likes through their clothing? My daughter likes corgis, so she was excited when she saw some pyjamas with corgis on. My son likes dinosaurs, so he chose a rain coat with dinosaurs on. That’s hardly a novel concept.
I guess I could have just bought him a dinosaur instead…

Lol. True. I wish I could buy an aeroplane. And in hindsight this cat is expensive lol

No she probably bought them because her son likes cats!! And maybe a lot of boys PJs don’t have cat designs. I mean seriously does it matter? If he likes them and they make him happy, whats the big deal. OP YANBU

Your son sounds fab!

Just showed my teenager daughter. She said if he’s only 9 it should be ok. I can kinda see where your husband is coming from. Your son is only a little lad still though so if he’s enjoying wearing them then let him wear them!

THIS THREAD IS WHY THE WORLD IS SO SCREWED

I’ve clicked on the link and there’s loads of long legged cat pjs underneath to choose from now it’s nearly autumn

My son has these! These exact ones! Tell your husband to piss off

To stop the comments on size of PJ trousers just get a suitable colour longer pants to use with the top.

Which bit(s)? The joggers? Chucking the pants? Bullying or buying him crazy clothes?

I have two preteen girls and it drives me fucking bananas that their shorts are mainly tiny and their tops/hoodies all cropped. It’s weird.

Your husband is a bully.
It will move on to something else, thats the way bullys are...always have to be critical.

It is not normal to comment negatively like this.
It is what bullying parents do.
Your poor son.
He will feel this and it will do damage.
He has asked his father to stop, but his bullying father is intent on bullying.

Protect your son.

my husband thinks the shorts on the pyjamas are too short. Like little hot pants. Sometimes when son is lounging on the sofa they ride up and some bum cheek is visible. This angers husband and starts him off on his “girls’ pyjamas” conversation again.

OP can you tell us what your DH actually meant. People keep landing on this and as usual a minute detail is being picked apart and detracting from what you’ve actually asked. People are implying that he’s some sort of perv who wouldn’t mind seeing his DD’s bum in these kinds of shorts, which l’m sure isn’t the case. Can you please clarify as l think your wording may have given the wrong impression.

Who is going to see this? They are pyjamas. For wearing in the house. I don’t understand why any family member would be offended by a bit of arse cheek, whether it’s on a boy or a girl.

OP, your husband sounds as if he needs to trail his antiquated brain into the 21st century. FIL used to get all worked up because our eldest son liked to play with his cousin’s old dolls’ house when we visited. I still remember DS1 saying ‘But it’s just a house. We all live in one’😆 We bought him similar for playing with at home because he loved it so much.

Agreed. I often buy mine shorts marketed as ‘boys’ shorts so that they’re not too short. I didn’t realise I was ruining their lives by buying them clothes that say ‘boys’ on the description!

So short they're riding up his bum? Not appropriate.

@cittykat these are marketed as boys pjs but gasp have pink on them... try these! https://www.amazon.co.uk/Ksajwzf-Pyjamas-Colorful-Nightwear-Teenagers/dp/B0D8J4YGHQ?th=1&psc=1

They’re pyjamas so I really don’t see the harm. It’s not as though he will be wearing them out so the fact he feels the shorts are too short shouldn’t matter as the only people who are going to see are you guys in the home.

If my 9yo DD had bottom cheek showing I’d be replacing the pJ bottoms as not fit for purpose. I think that is more the thing than boys / girls. Certainly my girls inherited plenty of “boys pjs” from their brothers. There shouldn’t be a difference but boys PJs tend to be made of thicker cotton and have more coverage girls are often very flimsy.

Your DH is being a Dick about it
BUT while your son should be able to wear what he wants unfortunately if he wears those PJ's in front of friends it could attract some bullying.
Its not right and its not fair but its a fact

Except husband thinks that’s ok for girls?

I don’t feel this is acceptable, you’re basically accusing the man of being a incestuous paedo, there is absolutely nothing to suggest this man wants to see your girls arses or even worse his mythical own daughters. Too far. Far too far.