To tell my husband to stop saying this?

[cittykat]

my 9 year old son is a massive cat lover. He has cat slippers, tshirts, pens etc etc. I got him some cat pyjamas. These ones. https://amzn.to/45XnCwa

my husband (son’s dad) keeps telling him that he has to stop wearing them as they are girls’ pyjamas.

my son has said to him “please can you stop calling them girls’ pyjamas” and my husband says that he will be bullied if his friends see him wearing them. I have pointed out that the only one bullying him is his own father.

my husband says that telling him that they’re girls’ and not appropriate is not bullying it’s “parenting”

my husband thinks the shorts on the pyjamas are too short. Like little hot pants. Sometimes when son is lounging on the sofa they ride up and some bum cheek is visible. This angers husband and starts him off on his “girls’ pyjamas” conversation again.

son likes the pyjamas. I said I would ask on here what people thought. Please vote.

YANBU - your husband should stop calling them “girls’ pyjamas” to your son and back off

YABU - your son shouldn’t wear the pyjamas and your husband is right to protect him from future bullying if son’s friends saw the pyjamas on a sleepover.

Don’t be ridiculous
Just because your 9 year old doesn’t want them, doesn’t mean that they are ‘girls pj’s,’ it just means that your 9 year old doesn’t like them.
If the OPs son, or any other boy, likes them, then good for him.
The OPs husband isn’t ‘right’ he’s a bully. They are pjs for goodness sake.

my husband thinks the shorts on the pyjamas are too short. Like little hot pants. Sometimes when son is lounging on the sofa they ride up and some bum cheek is visible. This angers husband and starts him off on his “girls’ pyjamas” conversation again.

The shorts should either be unacceptably short for everyone, or they should be a none issue. The fact that your husband thinks ‘short shorts’ are ‘girl’s shorts’ and are acceptable for girls your son’s age is grim to be honest.

If I'd seen these pyjamas online without anyone saying anything to me first I'd have assumed they were marketed toward boys. That is, obviously, based on some sexist generalisations of my own: I assume (based on personal experience) that the sorts of girls who want cat pyjamas tend to be very feminine in their tastes, and that any cat pyjamas chosen for them would therefore be made in more feminine colours, with more kittenish cat pictures, and in a more feminine style. I am unsure what your husband means by 'full coverage'. The shorts aren't that short, and anyway, they're pyjamas, so your son isn't going to be wearing them in public. The idea that girls should wear shorter shorts is bizarre anyway. If it's genital peeking your husband is so neurotically anxious about then I'm sure your son will be happy to wear some pants underneath to minimise the chances of that happening (although quite possibly he does that already). Is this part of a wider concern your husband has about your son's preference for cats over more stereotypically 'guy animals' (snakes, spiders, dinosaurs, big scary dogs, whatever) or are these blameless nightwear items the only trigger for his fragile masculinity?

Says me. My opinion. I never said it was a "fact".
Any more than your opinion is "fact".

they are girls PJ's so no i wouldn't have bought them for my son.

I think your DH is right but maybe not delivering the message as subtly as he could given your version of what he says.

Is it just these pjs your husband doesn't like.
If your son had different pair would he be complaining about something else ( hair style, TV shows, hobbies) your son likes.
PJ issue will pass soon he will grow out of them or need a warmer long leg pair for winter.
But issue is doubt your husband attitude to him will improve after pjs

Unless he’s Mr Popular and invited to sleepovers constantly then he’s showing a lot less at home than girls do in swimsuits in public.

Bloody hell. He’s 9 tell
your husband to leave him alone. It’s just PJs ffs

Yes, I agree. Really odd.

I called off my wedding for less! Your DH is being an arsehole and is bullying your son. It needs to stop.

It’s a black and white shorts and t shirt set with an animal on. How are they feminine ?!

also worrying your DH thinks that hot pants that show bum cheeks are for young girls

Cats are for everyone. Your DH is sexist and needs to realise that boys and men also like cats. Look at the many cat dads on social media.

Women are reclaiming the historic trope of crazy cat lady, and that's a very good thing.
Here's a nice podcast episode for your husband to learn he's being sexist.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m002hksl

Can't believe people are falling for the tropes of advertising. Ignore any sexist Amazon labelling. They label all Lego as being for boys and/or for girls, even though Lego largely stopped using those stereotypes years ago.

I'm gobsmacked at how many people on this thread think it would be ok for a girl to wear short pjs but not a boy.

They don't actually look particularly short to me and, OP, your husband is an arse.

I thought pyjamas were a sacred outfit you could wear at home and look like a bag of shit, a man, a woman, a caveman or whatever and be comfortable as these are your indoor clothes just to be seen by you and your immediate family. If they are going to start being policed and judged by that family, it’s a sad day indeed 😩😂

I hate that girls and women's pj bottoms are so short. There is another thread where the DD wants clothes with cars, tractors etc on but also likes pink. Clearly clothing manufacturer's are still getting it wrong.

I would get him some plain boys pj bottoms and pair with the top. Have bought DS women's socks before because he liked them.

Theyre fine its not like hes wearing them outside so who cares, long as your son is happy who cares what other people think. Your husband is being a dick.

Just to clarify, he’s saying he’s happy to see a nine yr old girls bum in shorts that are revealing, but not a nine yr old boy…. Sounds like your husband is super triggered and perhaps needs to do some serious internal work about why he has these weird issues with clothes, good forbid a young boy should like anything that is perceived as feminine!!! No wonder men are the way they are. This is seriously pathetic. I’d probably double down and start buying any short cat shorts I could find!!!!

Actually, plenty of us would prefer that the very-short-shorts were not worn by girls either. Not so much PJs, but I ended up buying shorts for DD in the boys aisle because she wanted longer ones.

Could you find a pair of boys PJs whose bottoms would go well with the cat top?

The being-teased issue doesn't hold water. He is only going to be seen in his PJs on a sleepover or residential trip, and presumably these are not his only PJs, so he can just wear a different set then. I'm sure you can organise it so that these are in the wash, so it doesn't even have to be a discussion.

If anything that's an argument for more modest swimwear, not for skimpier pyjamas.

Is your DH scared his son will catch a case of the gays??

DH is being v unreasonable. If he is so bothered about the shorts swap them for a pair of plain boys shorts from another set!

Full wet suits are available so that’s up to parents to source. I’m not arguing the case for skimpier pyjamas. I’m arguing the case that in their own home, kids should be able to wear what they want without being judged and bullied by their parent. And it shouldn’t matter if they show a bit of cheek in front of them. It’s ok for boys to be topless and get their nipples out in public but god forbid his dad see half a centimetre of bum cheek on the sofa.

Awesome pjs!

Your husband sounds like arse and you sound absolutely utterly brilliant allowing your child to express themselves exactly as they want. Put your foot down on this.

Husband dislikes the pyjamas because the shorts are very short and to him the style should only be worn by girls. He would like a more full coverage short.

So it's not that it sometimes exposes a bit of bum? It's that it exposes a bit of a boy's bum, whereas for a girl that would be OK in his eyes? That's not creepy at all...

The pyjamas belong to your son. That makes them boys' pyjamas. If your husband's concerned about your son not being properly covered up, he could suggest trunks underneath the shorts. (To which your son could quite reasonably reply, No thanks, I'm fine as I am.)

And while he's at it, your husband might want to think about why he thinks it's okay for little girls' bodies to be more exposed than little boys' bodies.

So your dh thinks it would be ok if he were a 9yr old girl and had her arse hanging out her pj's.
He makes no sense, twat