To tell my husband to stop saying this?

[cittykat]

my 9 year old son is a massive cat lover. He has cat slippers, tshirts, pens etc etc. I got him some cat pyjamas. These ones. https://amzn.to/45XnCwa

my husband (son’s dad) keeps telling him that he has to stop wearing them as they are girls’ pyjamas.

my son has said to him “please can you stop calling them girls’ pyjamas” and my husband says that he will be bullied if his friends see him wearing them. I have pointed out that the only one bullying him is his own father.

my husband says that telling him that they’re girls’ and not appropriate is not bullying it’s “parenting”

my husband thinks the shorts on the pyjamas are too short. Like little hot pants. Sometimes when son is lounging on the sofa they ride up and some bum cheek is visible. This angers husband and starts him off on his “girls’ pyjamas” conversation again.

son likes the pyjamas. I said I would ask on here what people thought. Please vote.

YANBU - your husband should stop calling them “girls’ pyjamas” to your son and back off

YABU - your son shouldn’t wear the pyjamas and your husband is right to protect him from future bullying if son’s friends saw the pyjamas on a sleepover.

I think a "why are you bullying our child again?" every time he does it would be appropriate and show your DS that you have his back. If he was actually just worried then a reasonable step would be to say something to your DS when he is packing for a sleepover or having kids over. Saying it apropos of nothing is just bullying.

Your husband sound insecure and a bit of bully. Who cares what your son wears in the comfort of his own home. Does it really matter? No, it doesn’t. Is your husband homophobic or just a knuckle dragging fool? Yes, at sleep overs maybe suggest an alternative.
Your son is putting in boundaries and your husband is trampling these. Your son will eventually hate your husband if he continues. Protect your boy and tell your husband to fuck right off.

I think your husband is being ridiculous. My son is short for his age and has short pjs made for his age boys that only come to about mid-thigh if that. He likes short shorts when he sleeps. They're much longer than boxer briefs but not knee length. Sounds like that's what these are on your ds.

I do not understand why girls shorts are thigh length but boys have to be to the knee. Sometimes boys might want shorter shorts and girls longer shorts.

YANBU

Here's some for winter

https://direct.asda.com/george/kids/nw2/nw2-superkitties-brave-kids-navy-printed-pyjamas/G008000972,default,pd.html?redirectFromInt=1&cmpid=ppc--geor-------_-dskwid-_dm&utm_campaign=pla:Fashion-Kids_BAU-_Performance_Max&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=19513767745&gbraid=0AAAAADt8Wcnl-M1GSioyvIL4Vpu88nC0K&gclid=Cj0KCQjwn8XFBhCxARIsAMyH8BudBwpkxDJJnRnJCJXf12-f3djz36akwFVW27FBhWaKQgHsAdEd-OAaAoAeEALw_wcB

Your husband should back off, but on the other hand, I wouldn't buy short shorts for a boy, and I would find longer bottoms for him to wear (especially around any friends, because yes, if they're obviously a girls' style cut, some kids his own age might very well tease him about that).

https://www.marksandspencer.com/pure-cotton-surf-cat-pyjamas-1-16-yrs-/p/clp60736421

Those are great!

There are other cat sets marketed as unisex that look exactly the same styles. Maybe order some of those to shut him up. The happiness of wearing cat pyjamas should not be changed in any way, but maybe the bullying can stop. Wearing cat pyjamas is such a small thing to make a boy happy, why would anyone want to spoil that?

Tell him to get over himself, we’ve got all boys one wears only boxers to bed and comes down for breakfast in them, another wears full on proper grandad pjs (full length sleeves and trousers) another wears pjs with various animals one, some of which possibly may be more ‘girlie’ but he loves them.
If your son can’t chill out in a pair of pjs in his own home without someone commenting all the time then it’s pretty sad.
My DH is in his 40’s and occasionally has said something looks abit girlie or similar… he usually gets short shrift by my eldest who tells him that he’s a dinosaur and there’s no such thing as girls/boys attire anymore.
2 of mine have ears pierced, one with just one ear but the other has both ears done…. That raised a few comments within the older members of our family and I’m sure his dad was thinking it but our son has the confidence in himself to be who he is and like what he likes.
Your husband will damage his relationship with his son if he doesn’t stop, and seeing a bit of a bottom cheek when your own kid is wearing cats pyjamas shouldn’t even raise an eyebrow.

They are cat pj's so pretty gender neutral IMO.
The only issue I would see is that the shorts are too short (My daughter prefers boy shorts for this reason as well, i have no idea why clothing manufacturers have different more revealing cut for girls). So that aspect of it I may take into account and keep top but change the bottoms.

The comment was aimed at the fact that they were designed for a girl, not that he would like to see a girl wearing them
I'm not suggesting he'd 'like' to see a girl wearing them. But it's clear that he feels they're acceptable for a girl, but not for a boy.

I love the M&S ones.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Anantty-Pyjamas-Kitten-Nightwear-Teenagers/dp/B0CCCWQ4NS

slightly pricey but the shorts look longer, but as per my previous post I think as long as your son likes them and is comfortable, that’s all that matters

You can 'sell' something any way you like. The question remains: why is the size/style/cut considered OK for one sex but not the other?
And they don't sound inappropriate. They just ride up a bit sometimes depending on how the son is sitting.

Definitely!!

You can buy cat theme t shirt and shorts and use it as pj's is the big deal is the length of the short.
My DD likes Minecraft stuff and in the absence of pj's I like with the theme on it, that was a solution.
Cats are love by boys and girls indistintily I cant see why they are girly stuff, not all the cats are hello kitty.
BTW your husband shouldn't been saying what he is saying.

But have you actually looked at the PJ!s??

They're not short short at all.

Personally think the PJ's are unisex.

Also if your son likes them, he likes them. Your husband is being a bit of a bully. What if your son turns out to be gay, well he's never going to come out to his dad is he? If he's being chastised by him over what he wears which is such a small issue. What he wears is no one else's business period, unless he is outside not wearing anything lol.

HRTWT
They're advertised by Amazon as girls' pyjamas .....at 9, do boys want to wear girls' pyjamas?

I mean, seriously, ‘girly pjs’? I don’t think I have misunderstood. At all.

Look pretty boyish to me - I thought they must have pink kittens on them. Your DH is a sexist twerp. Tell him so and to stop making stupid remarks about gender conformity - we don't have to gender conform if we don't want to.

Jesus, your son is 9 and your husband is an idiot. He needs to feel safe in his home to be himself. As you say he is literally the only one bullying your son.

If my son wanted to wear pink spangly PJs I'm all for it. If he got bullied then we'd deal with that. Just like when DD1 wore shorts for school and had her hair in a bob and kept being called a boy.

Boys -and girls, for that matter- can wear whatever they damn well please.

Your husband's being a bully. Even if the lad wore a pink sparkly tutu, heels and a tiara, it's not going to make his willy drop off FFS.

There is no right or wrong way to be a boy. Only to be yourself, proudly! I think your son is a little hero (although I may be a bit biased as I too love all things cat-related).