To tell my husband to stop saying this?

[cittykat]

my 9 year old son is a massive cat lover. He has cat slippers, tshirts, pens etc etc. I got him some cat pyjamas. These ones. https://amzn.to/45XnCwa

my husband (son’s dad) keeps telling him that he has to stop wearing them as they are girls’ pyjamas.

my son has said to him “please can you stop calling them girls’ pyjamas” and my husband says that he will be bullied if his friends see him wearing them. I have pointed out that the only one bullying him is his own father.

my husband says that telling him that they’re girls’ and not appropriate is not bullying it’s “parenting”

my husband thinks the shorts on the pyjamas are too short. Like little hot pants. Sometimes when son is lounging on the sofa they ride up and some bum cheek is visible. This angers husband and starts him off on his “girls’ pyjamas” conversation again.

son likes the pyjamas. I said I would ask on here what people thought. Please vote.

YANBU - your husband should stop calling them “girls’ pyjamas” to your son and back off

YABU - your son shouldn’t wear the pyjamas and your husband is right to protect him from future bullying if son’s friends saw the pyjamas on a sleepover.

Right there with you

Even if they are (which I don't necessarily agree with) their waist to crotch measurement isn't going to be different. Trust me, I'm a seamstress. The shorts fit him, they are just short, which they would also be on a girl. So they are either ok for children of either sex, or they are not. They can only be considered "just for girls" if you are sexist and think girls should have more skin showing than boys.

Pre-puberty, girls and boys rarely have differently shaped bodies. The OP's son is 9, ffs. It doesn't matter what the label on the pyjamas says.

The shorts don't even look 'skimpy' it's just what happens in summer Pj's when people are lounging around.

maybe wear ‘shorts’ over leggings a la batman style 😊
Im astounded a father would be so openly critical about a child…his child? Hasn’t Dad got anything better to do?

It’s actually quite depressing to see so many posters trying to twist what OP has said so they can accuse her DH of being some sort of perv. The trend towards picking up on ridiculous minutiae totally irrelevant to the point of the thread and running with it to the point of derailment will be the death of MN. AIBU has always been brutal, but it’s now getting to the point where the opportunity for reasonable debate is lost in a slew of anonymous keyboard warriors saying things they would never dare to utter to anyone face to face.

The commenter didn't say anything about the father being a pervert. They're pointing out a double standard. If shorts are too short for a boy, why are they not too short for a girl?

He obviously sees buying pyjamas, washing them, and monitoring their whereabout as "woman's work".

Looking at the photo of the pjs online, I don't see how these can be so short that his bum cheeks could be seen! They look quite long actually. Bearing in mind they are labelled as 'girl' pjs, you might need to size up significantly.

Where has OP said anything like that ? She said her DH thinks that style should only be worn by girls - statement to the fact that they were designed for, and marketed to girls. At no point has OP said her DH would like to see girls wearing it, just that he doesn’t think it appropriate for his son. The fact that you and many others on here are jumping to that conclusion actually says more about you.

Ofgs, his arse is hanging out- get him some pyjama trousers or something

everyone knows clothes for girls are being far too sexualised, they’d be wrong for a 11-12 yo girl too if they ride up that far.

The question is should son be allowed to continue wearing them, and should DH stop bullying son over it now son has asked husband to stop mentioning it.

You obviously already know the answer to this.
So what are you going to do about your DH?

Yeah that's why I deleted my comment.

Actually that's not why I deleted it, I deleted it because I knew someone would comment what you have and it's more nuanced than that.

I believe that this kind of behaviour is fuelling gender confusion in children. Someone tells a child that what they are wearing or doing is for children of the opposite sex, and then they start wondering about their gender. It needs to stop.

I’d get my husband to explain why he thinks a girl wearing tiny bum-showing shorts would be ok, if it’s not ok for his son?

Yes, this, exactly. It's a bit disturbing.
And YANBU, obviously; he needs to give his head a wobble and have a think about sexism. Your son can wear what he wants. Good for him for standing up for himself and not buying his father's gendered nonsense.

Agreed on this. No need for the paedo accusations at all. I think a lot of men would feel a bit awkward about seeing their son wearing what are clearly girl pjs. There's no suggestion he would find a girl doing this ok either. OP could have managed this better by keeping the top and finding alternative, more appropriate shorts.

He didn’t say it was ok for girls to wear it though. I read the comment more that there was a clear distinction in the design and marketing, that they were meant for girls, and it wasn’t appropriate for DS to be wearing them. Whether or not he’d be OK with his DD wearing them hasn’t been clarified, only implied.

Your husband is so very wrong to behave like this towards your son.

However, you mentioned response to the pjs on a sleepover - it’s not appropriate to send a child of either sex to a sleepover wearing ‘little hot pants’ that don’t cover their bum fully. Surely you know that.

Sorry, 'clearly girl pjs' how? (and it's not because they're described as such on Amazon). It's a pair of shorts and a T-shirt. Is it because they have cats on them? If so, why is that for girls and boys? It's because the shorts are not long, why is that okay for girls but not for boys?

Why not buy the long pant version and hem them at a more suitable boxer length. Easy solution.

Alternatively, swap the shorts out for a longer boxer style short.

Ask your husband why he hates women and girls and try to make his son to hate us as well! Because that is what he is teaching. He says that girls are bad and to be avoided at all cost because what they like is inferior. He is red pilling right now. And being a bully.

it’s not appropriate to send a child of either sex to a sleepover wearing ‘little hot pants’
The shorts, from the picture, are clearly not 'little hot pants'; that's what the OP says her husband called them. Hot pants are cut so short that they will never cover bum cheek; these ones sometimes ride up when her son is lounging in a particular way and show a bit of bum cheek. That's different.

People are getting hysterical about a guy not liking his son wearing girl pjs that resemble 'little hot pants' then resorting to insults such as 'paedo' while arguing he needs to be more open minded. Seriously.

Not of being some sort of perv, of thinking that what he thinks of as too-short shorts are OK for girls but not boys. How on earth is that 'irrelevant' when his whole argument is that some things are okay for girls but not boys?