To tell my husband to stop saying this?

[cittykat]

my 9 year old son is a massive cat lover. He has cat slippers, tshirts, pens etc etc. I got him some cat pyjamas. These ones. https://amzn.to/45XnCwa

my husband (son’s dad) keeps telling him that he has to stop wearing them as they are girls’ pyjamas.

my son has said to him “please can you stop calling them girls’ pyjamas” and my husband says that he will be bullied if his friends see him wearing them. I have pointed out that the only one bullying him is his own father.

my husband says that telling him that they’re girls’ and not appropriate is not bullying it’s “parenting”

my husband thinks the shorts on the pyjamas are too short. Like little hot pants. Sometimes when son is lounging on the sofa they ride up and some bum cheek is visible. This angers husband and starts him off on his “girls’ pyjamas” conversation again.

son likes the pyjamas. I said I would ask on here what people thought. Please vote.

YANBU - your husband should stop calling them “girls’ pyjamas” to your son and back off

YABU - your son shouldn’t wear the pyjamas and your husband is right to protect him from future bullying if son’s friends saw the pyjamas on a sleepover.

I wouldn't buy any child pjs that showed their bum cheeks, with a boy it's also likely to show gentiles.

This

The three smallest DC in my DD9's class are boys.

And actually, girls go through puberty earlier than boys (there are several in DD's class who have visibly started with growth spurts), so if anything, 9-year-old girls tend to be bigger.

I disagree with your DH. Your son is wearing the pjs at home so a little bum cheek doesn’t seem a major issue, perhaps at a sleepover but not at home. I did find these on Amazon https://amzn.eu/d/63uPgdB which might keep everyone happy.

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I'd keep the pj's and send the husband back

It’s the problem with girls clothes all over. Whilst boys can wear longer loose shorts, short marketed even at young girls are virtually hot pants. I hate it and always pass my sons shorts down to my daughter.

in regard to the pyjamas, what does it matter what you or DH husband think. Your son Should be free to choose what he wears and your husband is being v sexist!

He's 9
hes at home
its a bit of his bum cheek occasionally

don't be so ridiculous.

Sorry but your DH sounds awful. He is a bully.

Asked and answered by now but It’s making me cringe so much that the problem is the shorts are too short but he’d be fine with his duaghters shorts being that short? Because girls clothes are sexualised. If they are appropriate for a 9 year old girl they’re appropriate for a 9 year old boy. Either the shorts are too short and don’t cover enough or they are fine, it’s irrelevant if they are boys or girls. I think the problem is you DH knows they’re classed as ‘girl’ pyjamas and that’s what he has the problem with

Girls ass cheeks are not mysteriously smaller than boys what is it about "girl shorts" that means short shorts

Except that OP didn’t say anywhere in her post that that was what he said. He was likely making the distinction as to how the cut of something designed for a girl would wear differently on a boy, or commenting on how shorts for girls are cut higher. Nothing to suggest that’s what he’d like on a DD, jut that he doesn’t like it on his DS. Once again MN has picked up on a minute detail, badly worded by the OP and is running with it to the point where it derails the thread. If you’re always looking for a perv then you’re always going to find one. It’s batshit.

I mean he is partly right, they’re quite literally girls pyjamas.

You can often buy separates now, could you buy a pair of PJ trousers (or shirts if preferred) to replace the bottoms? I don't think it's right that he's wearing shorts that allow his bum to show (whether he's a boy or a girl). But I do think your DH needs to be quiet and mind his own business, except on the bum exposure in which case I definitely think he's right.

Definitely not girls pyjamas.
If your son likes them then that is all that matters.
I think your husband is being mean, people can wear what they like.
I hate seeing my nephews in just the pyjama shorts and bare chested , I don't feel comfortable hugging them as they are teenagers , but I would never tell them that as it's not my place and they aren't bothered so the issue is my problem.
Your husband has the problem not your son and he should keep his gob shut.

But its ok for girls genitals to be shown?

Yeah, I don't know if it's a cultural thing or a generational thing but this is not a big issue to me. Again, it's a pair of shorts. I am always open to hearing what other people think and do differently in case I am introduced to a better way. Your lack of explanation combined with the insult has reassured me that there is no reason. This is an emotional response from someone who has no point so resorts to insults. If you are this upset about a comment from a stranger on the internet, then I am beginning to understand the attachment to the shorts and the lifelong trauma that would be caused by their loss....in some people....not me or mine, obviously.

I hope this doesn't cause you nightmares, but I have not kept every single piece of art or party bag toy either. Sometimes I secretly throw them away......

You can buy boy pj shorts separately if its just the short part that's the issue but my personal feeling is he would take issue with the top part then

Somewhere in the middle would be best. Letting your son know he can wear whatever he wants and doesn't have to conform to gender stereotypes but also letting him know that there is a chance other kids will laugh at him if he was seen in clothes that girls usually wear.

You have my sincere condolences. You've married a most unpleasant man. I hope he sees sense and stops bullying his son.

I was thinking that perhaps your son is getting a little old for "character" stuff.

But then I'm in my 60s & have a Minnie Mouse tshirt.

I also have a cat!

No. And that’s not what people, or likely OP’s DH is saying. It’s a fact that girl’s shorts are often cut higher and the fact that DH is commenting on that is just making the distinction. He said that that’s how girls wear them. Not that it’s OK. That’s a different thing. The lack of critical and even logical thinking around this is appalling and threatening to derail the thread.

The shorts ride up, all loose fitting shorts ride up when you’re lounging around, he’s not wearing booty shorts

Yes, they are 'girly', designed for girls (whether they're not a good fit for girls or not isn't the point in this thread)

BUT WGAF if DS likes them?! He can choose to wear them around his friends if he wants to, as long as he has other options if he'd rather not!

I could understand his Dad rolling his eyes to you & asking you why you bought him such girly PJ's . Personally I wouldn't have.

BUT he's being horrible to your son & I wouldn't just be asking him to stop it, I'd.be telling him to stop it or there would be dire consequences. WANKER.

At my DGC school the girls are MUCH taller years 4-6

We live in a society now where children are encouraged to express themselves in ways that make them feel comfortable. If those pyjamas make him feel comfortable then he should wear them. I think his Dad though is trying to protect him from being bullied but is going the wrong way about it. The pyjamas are advertised as girls pyjamas which I think is dad's issue, if they were unisex pyjamas I don't think he would have an issue with them, however leave your son to make his own decisions about what he wears. My son loves bright coloured clothes that can stand out in a crowd and he loves them. I would never tell him to wear something that blended in and if he ever got bullied over it, I as his mom would do everything I could to stop it. Your doing great Mom, don't let your Husband make you feel guilty for letting your Son be his own person.