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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Guests and disturbing them

137 replies

shellyleppard · 29/08/2025 06:44

Just a curious one. If you have guests using the sofa bed what time do you get up yourself??
I need to go downstairs and sort out the cat box 🤢 and get on with my day but worried about disturbing them 😞😍

OP posts:
SoScarletItWas · 29/08/2025 06:47

I get on with my day as I need to. My cats do their litter tray hokey-cokey from about 5am so that’s when I go and deal!

stonebrambleboy · 29/08/2025 06:49

7 am

Whaleandsnail6 · 29/08/2025 06:51

Do you have to go through the room they are sleeping in? If so then I would go down at about 8am as I feel thats kind of reasonable for a weekday

If its a case of they are in another room that you dont have to walk through then I would go down whenever and not do anything that makes excessive noise (so I wouldn't use the blender or put the washing machine on if they are sleeping on the room by the kitchen) but I wouldn't be as worried about waking them

toastofthetown · 29/08/2025 06:54

Not that it’s helpful now, but I’d have mentioned if you need to be in their room last night. Otherwise I’d give until about 8:30 normally.

Thefuture2025 · 29/08/2025 06:56

Can you check their WhatsApp last seen to see if they're awake?

FanofLeaves · 29/08/2025 07:02

If I had to disturb guests that early to sort pets out I’d have probably taken the sofa bed and let them have a bedroom. But obviously too late now, I hope you warned them about the early wake up!

Whenthetimeisright · 29/08/2025 07:04

Thefuture2025 · 29/08/2025 06:56

Can you check their WhatsApp last seen to see if they're awake?

Gosh that's really creepy to think other people have the ability to actually check your sleeping habits.
I don't use WhatsApp and I had no idea it gave others such access to your personal life.

SoScarletItWas · 29/08/2025 07:07

Whenthetimeisright · 29/08/2025 07:04

Gosh that's really creepy to think other people have the ability to actually check your sleeping habits.
I don't use WhatsApp and I had no idea it gave others such access to your personal life.

Edited

It doesn’t really. It has a feature where you can see someone’s ’Last seen’ time ie when they were last active on WA. You can turn that feature off easily (mine is off). Not much different to a ‘read receipt’ on an email really. You can’t tell someone’s sleeping habits, PP was suggesting it as a way of seeing if guests were active online and therefore awake.

BaronessBomburst · 29/08/2025 07:08

8 am for a weekday.
Unless it's my mother, who will have been awake since 5 am anyway.
She actually prefers the sofabed, because as she wakes up so early she can make a cup of tea and watch the birds.

Whaleandsnail6 · 29/08/2025 07:10

Whenthetimeisright · 29/08/2025 07:04

Gosh that's really creepy to think other people have the ability to actually check your sleeping habits.
I don't use WhatsApp and I had no idea it gave others such access to your personal life.

Edited

It just shows what time you were last on whats app (and you can turn it off) so it doesn't actually show your sleeping habits.

For example, if you woke up at 3am and read a whats app that had been sent, or sent a whats app, it would say you were last seen at 3am.

Moonnstars · 29/08/2025 07:13

Depends on what you have said to them before agreeing to them staying. If they know you have to get up for work and get on with your day then I would say 7am is fine.
Also depends on why you are hosting - are you doing them a favour in saving hotel costs so therefore they need to slot in with you.

Whenthetimeisright · 29/08/2025 07:14

SoScarletItWas · 29/08/2025 07:07

It doesn’t really. It has a feature where you can see someone’s ’Last seen’ time ie when they were last active on WA. You can turn that feature off easily (mine is off). Not much different to a ‘read receipt’ on an email really. You can’t tell someone’s sleeping habits, PP was suggesting it as a way of seeing if guests were active online and therefore awake.

I understand the reasoning but I still don't like the thought of others having the ability to check up on me like that.
I'm a very private person and it gives off vibes of real intrusiveness.
If I was a guest in their home I don't know what's wrong with a subtle knock on the door if it was necessary to check if I was awake. Not checking my activity on social media.

autienotnaughty · 29/08/2025 07:15

id say about 8am butgettting up for cats is reasonable

shellyleppard · 29/08/2025 07:15

@Moonnstars its my son and his gf. He normally shares with his younger brother so i said they could sleep downy. I'll get up soon I'm getting bored 🤣🤣

OP posts:
dogcatkitten · 29/08/2025 07:19

shellyleppard · 29/08/2025 07:15

@Moonnstars its my son and his gf. He normally shares with his younger brother so i said they could sleep downy. I'll get up soon I'm getting bored 🤣🤣

I assume son knows you have to get up for cats and to me isn't really a guest just part of the family so no special measures!

shellyleppard · 29/08/2025 07:21

@Moonnstars true Lol but his gf is and I'm not sure how much of an early riser she is 🤣🤣🤣 will go down soon my stomach is rumbling 🤣

OP posts:
Moonnstars · 29/08/2025 07:24

shellyleppard · 29/08/2025 07:21

@Moonnstars true Lol but his gf is and I'm not sure how much of an early riser she is 🤣🤣🤣 will go down soon my stomach is rumbling 🤣

Your son should have explained this to her. I think she needs to be able to slot in if sleeping on the sofa. Maybe have a chat with them later if she is staying a few nights to explain the situation.
Maybe he should swap with his brother and the one with the girlfriend gets the room and the other sleeps on the sofa?

Weekmindedfool · 29/08/2025 07:25

I’m sorry not the point of the thread but why do you have to get up for the cats litter box? Why can’t it be sorted later?

itsachickeninnit · 29/08/2025 07:25

I’d probably message him first….just in case 😬

ExtraOnions · 29/08/2025 07:27

Assuming the sofa bed isn’t in the kitchen, I’m sure you can be quiet enough not to wake them, and still use the kitchen

GleisZwei · 29/08/2025 07:30

I'd make it clear from the outset that I still have to be up and about.
7am weekdays.
8am weekends.

Silverbirchleaf · 29/08/2025 07:30

Your don should know the rhythm of the house, so if you’re normally up at 7am, then I would get up as normal.

shellyleppard · 29/08/2025 07:30

@Weekmindedfool because they did a poo and it's ponging?

OP posts:
GleisZwei · 29/08/2025 07:31

Moonnstars · 29/08/2025 07:24

Your son should have explained this to her. I think she needs to be able to slot in if sleeping on the sofa. Maybe have a chat with them later if she is staying a few nights to explain the situation.
Maybe he should swap with his brother and the one with the girlfriend gets the room and the other sleeps on the sofa?

Why should the brother be turfed on to the sofa exactly?

GleisZwei · 29/08/2025 07:32

shellyleppard · 29/08/2025 07:30

@Weekmindedfool because they did a poo and it's ponging?

Go and deal with it then, tbh your son could have dealt with it as presumably he smells it too?

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