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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Guests and disturbing them

137 replies

shellyleppard · 29/08/2025 06:44

Just a curious one. If you have guests using the sofa bed what time do you get up yourself??
I need to go downstairs and sort out the cat box 🤢 and get on with my day but worried about disturbing them 😞😍

OP posts:
Moonnstars · 29/08/2025 07:33

GleisZwei · 29/08/2025 07:31

Why should the brother be turfed on to the sofa exactly?

Show quote history

I am imagining in my head a teen perhaps who will sleep through anything and knows the routine of the house and not be embarrassed if his mum has to cut through where he is sleeping.

I was thinking of the privacy issue with the girlfriend and her not wanting to be found in just her underwear or something by her boyfriends mum!

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 29/08/2025 07:33

7:00 am.
Just breeze in and sweep back the curtains saying
"Aren't you up yet. Breakfast is at 9:00. Come on. Chop Chop."

Weekmindedfool · 29/08/2025 07:35

shellyleppard · 29/08/2025 07:30

@Weekmindedfool because they did a poo and it's ponging?

Ok…never had an issue with my cats. Cleaned the litter tray later in the day, certainly never jumped up straight after the event. Certainly never got up early just because they been. And no the house didn’t smell.

Hairshare · 29/08/2025 07:35

shellyleppard · 29/08/2025 07:15

@Moonnstars its my son and his gf. He normally shares with his younger brother so i said they could sleep downy. I'll get up soon I'm getting bored 🤣🤣

Letting them use the sofa bed was a favour. Go down quietly when you need to.

Original poster
shellyleppard · 29/08/2025 07:35

@TwoLeftSocksWithHoles they are awake now Lol. Your response is fantastic! ❤️

OP posts:
ImFineItsAllFine · 29/08/2025 07:37

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 29/08/2025 07:33

7:00 am.
Just breeze in and sweep back the curtains saying
"Aren't you up yet. Breakfast is at 9:00. Come on. Chop Chop."

🤣 Are you my MIL by any chance??

GleisZwei · 29/08/2025 07:37

Moonnstars · 29/08/2025 07:33

I am imagining in my head a teen perhaps who will sleep through anything and knows the routine of the house and not be embarrassed if his mum has to cut through where he is sleeping.

I was thinking of the privacy issue with the girlfriend and her not wanting to be found in just her underwear or something by her boyfriends mum!

Show quote history

The girlfriend isn't more important than someone who already lives there, nor is her privacy more important. If you're staying at someone else's house then you'd expect some disruption, if there's no dedicated spare room. ✌️

TitaniasAss · 29/08/2025 07:38

Whenthetimeisright · 29/08/2025 07:14

I understand the reasoning but I still don't like the thought of others having the ability to check up on me like that.
I'm a very private person and it gives off vibes of real intrusiveness.
If I was a guest in their home I don't know what's wrong with a subtle knock on the door if it was necessary to check if I was awake. Not checking my activity on social media.

Edited
Show quote history

It's a feature that you can turn on and off. People who choose to have it on, do so knowing that others can see it. If you don't want that, you keep that feature turned off. Same if you don't want anyone to see your activity status on messenger. I just have mine turned off for the reasons you mention but it's got nothing to do with sleeping habits.

GleisZwei · 29/08/2025 07:38

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 29/08/2025 07:33

7:00 am.
Just breeze in and sweep back the curtains saying
"Aren't you up yet. Breakfast is at 9:00. Come on. Chop Chop."

I'd be very grateful if you were offering to make my breakfast (though I'm hungry well before 9). 😂

Rasell · 29/08/2025 07:42

Whenthetimeisright · 29/08/2025 07:04

Gosh that's really creepy to think other people have the ability to actually check your sleeping habits.
I don't use WhatsApp and I had no idea it gave others such access to your personal life.

Edited
Show quote history

When you click on a contact it says, 'last seen at 6.05' or whatever, it doesn't give any other info or location or anything.
I agree, 8am as host, but as a guest I'd be fine with noise and disturbances from 7am. I'd rather that than the smell of cat poo waking me up!

UniqueStork · 29/08/2025 07:55

I had some future visitors want to sleep in my living room. I told them that was fine but the dogs are up at 6am, which means they will be too. They have opted for the hotel.

TeamBuffalo · 29/08/2025 07:55

Whenever you need to. Guests should take you as they find you, especially on a weekday.

Arrivederla · 29/08/2025 07:56

Rasell · 29/08/2025 07:42

When you click on a contact it says, 'last seen at 6.05' or whatever, it doesn't give any other info or location or anything.
I agree, 8am as host, but as a guest I'd be fine with noise and disturbances from 7am. I'd rather that than the smell of cat poo waking me up!

Show quote history

Exactly! And if anyone thinks that their cat litter tray doesn't smell, then they are totally kidding themselves

Sorry! Somehow quoted the wrong post

Nestingbirds · 29/08/2025 08:06

FanofLeaves · 29/08/2025 07:02

If I had to disturb guests that early to sort pets out I’d have probably taken the sofa bed and let them have a bedroom. But obviously too late now, I hope you warned them about the early wake up!

Edited

It’s not a hotel! They are not paying for the privilege. It’s op’s home and I assume as it’s a week day they won’t be surprised that people have to get on with the day.

MiddleAgeRageMonster · 29/08/2025 08:14

We are very early risers in this house, anytime around 5am! Any guests are very much aware and are welcome to stay elsewhere if they don't like our sleeping habits.
Tbh my sister is the only one that stays, her kids sleep in with mine and don't surface until about lunchtime, when we get up my sister gets off the couch and goes to sleep in our bed for another few hours!

Original poster
shellyleppard · 29/08/2025 08:16

Thank you all for replying. I went downstairs at 7.30 am . They were both sat reading!! All my worry for nothing Lol

OP posts:
Surveille222 · 29/08/2025 08:16

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

GleisZwei · 29/08/2025 08:16

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Or the son could deal with it?

Swiftie1878 · 29/08/2025 08:18

shellyleppard · 29/08/2025 07:30

@Weekmindedfool because they did a poo and it's ponging?

You need better litter!

Gloriia · 29/08/2025 08:24

Next time op give them a bed and you sleep on the sofabed so you can carry on your usual routine.

tulippa · 29/08/2025 08:30

Not the point of the thread but does your visiting adult child really count as a guest? Surely he's just family coming to stay? He should be used to how the house runs and when you all generally get up. Sorry I know his girlfriend is there too but he should be explaining that they'll probably need to get up earlyish.

GleisZwei · 29/08/2025 08:31

Gloriia · 29/08/2025 08:24

Next time op give them a bed and you sleep on the sofabed so you can carry on your usual routine.

Why should OP give up her own bed exactly?

Bananafofana · 29/08/2025 08:32

Next time have a casual chat the night before about plans for the morning / breakfast / your schedule

Zodiacrobat · 29/08/2025 08:33

itsachickeninnit · 29/08/2025 07:25

I’d probably message him first….just in case 😬

Omg yes, I’d def check, no mum needs to see her son in a … position 😬

UniqueStork · 29/08/2025 08:33

tulippa · 29/08/2025 08:30

Not the point of the thread but does your visiting adult child really count as a guest? Surely he's just family coming to stay? He should be used to how the house runs and when you all generally get up. Sorry I know his girlfriend is there too but he should be explaining that they'll probably need to get up earlyish.

A guest is anyone who doesn't normally live in the house by my definition. I'm just latching onto that with interest because once my mother was visiting and told me that my teenage child hadn't done anything to help around the house. I pointed out that he usually does but we were all in a different routine with having guests. She got quite upset at being called a guest. Any insight because it seems like you define it differently and might be able to shed some light?

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