Dada always doing nursery run, is he single?

[ByDandyTurtle]

Aibu in thinking he must be single as I never see a woman drop of the child

I want to approach him but unsure

Hope OP has a tin hat on. Seemed a perfectly reasonable assumption. You go girl. Good luck.

Go for it OP, but beware he might cry a lot

@sugarapplelane Because @ByDandyTurtle simply will not accept a man can do all of the drop-offs and be married. When I was a primary teacher of course my husband had to do them all!! Yes I know this child is in nursery but it may well be the case that his wife starts her working day early.
Also, I'm not sure I would actively seek to date someone who clearly has a very young child in the first place? Personal preference but when I separated from my ex-hysband and already had two children (older than nursery age) my preference was for a man without children. We are now happily married with a child of our own.

OP just might want a bit of no strings.

Lucky you 😍

Erm what?🤣
How on earth do you think people get together? Meeting someone you're attracted to in day to day life, chatting to them and one of you suggesting a date is entirely normal. If the other person isn't interested then they can say no. Its usually very obvious if the other person is interested in you. Calling it predatory behaviour is beyond ridiculous. Is there a generation of people that think you can only meet people online now, if so that's incredibly fucking sad

She can make an assumption but she should really have worded her post a different way if she was wondering if he was single and wanted to date him.

Instead she sounds incredulous that a man does all the drop offs and pick ups and mum isn’t doing everything and she’s getting snarky when all posters are giving her reasons of why this may be

How fortunate that your husband wasn't as short sighted as you and only wanted a woman with no children!

Chatting someone up is not pretending you only want a friendship. That’s the point.

He’s maybe a SAHD and the wife is the main earner meaning he would be the one doing all the stays and plays/drops offs etc.

You think that “it depends” as an answer to whether you should try to initiate a relationship with a colleague is too complicated a rule to keep track of?!

This isn’t a new rule - it’s basic human interaction.

Yet again, there’s a difference between being clear you want a romantic/sexual relationship and pretending to be someone’s platonic friend to try and get close to them when you actually only want a romantic/sexual relationship. One is fine, the other isn’t.

Keep giving examples of the first one to try and justify the second though 🙄

😂😂😂 are you for real?? I mean, honestly, are you just joking here??

Please, because I’m really interested now, please tell me how you think romantic relationships come about?

Because in my world, you meet a person in a real life situation, be that a bar, a hobby, a workplace or, yes - the school run! Then you speak to them to get to know them and see if they are available and interested, then you move to the next stage if appropriate and agreeable to both people!

It not predatory to feel attracted to someone and establish contact with them ffs!

This website blows my mind on the daily! I can’t believe how bizarre some attitudes actually are 🤯 you must never have had a relationship if that’s how you feel as no one could ever have been safe to contact you and you’d never have approached anyone else 😂😂🤦🏻‍♀️

Well to be perfectly frank he’s unlikely to be single because he’s doing all the drop offs, unless the mother is dead 🤷🏻‍♀️

My partner did the pick ups and drop offs for for five days and some woman hit on him 🤣

He was very amused, now she gives me daggers every time she sees me 😂

Also I’m not sure nursery pick ups and drop offs are the right place for this, same goes for school but I do sympathise it’s very hard being a single parent. It’ll happen but maybe just let it happen naturally.

Everyone’s upset with you because they’re imagining you hitting on their partner when he’s picking up their child from nursery. You can see why they’re pissy.

And really you know he does all the drop offs which means you do all the drop offs, do you think that means everyone assumes you’re single? I personally wouldn’t, I would just assume like myself that your partner is in work 🤷🏻‍♀️

Well, people are different and might want different things. OP has a small child too and she feels ready to date. My SIL has a 2yo and is just entering the dating world again. People feel differently about what they are ready for and when, plus she might not want another child with a childless man - who knows. There's no universal rule. If the guy's single, he might be ready to date - or not. Asking is the only way you know.

Yeah, things sound absolutely ridiculous and hilarious when you invent what was said instead of actually reading what was said.

I can’t believe you’ve never had a relationship! …see, I can invent things too!

As stated more times than you can count now, there’s a huge difference between:

1. Being attracted to someone you don’t know to the extent that you’re tracking their movements and logging their child’s birthday - but, in over a year of seeing them almost daily have not spoken to them. Then striking up (what you want them to believe is) a platonic friendship when your actual intention is to have sex with them.
2. Getting to know someone organically and then mutually developing an attraction, and then asking them out.

@XiCi I had to consider the practicalities and it wouldn't have worked blending families. No way I had finances enough to afford to house 2 / 3 more children and our home was our home. I also wasn't prepared to give up my career or reduce my working hours as bills to pay. I was putting my existing children first.
It was absolutely my choice to want to only date men with no children, juat as it would be their choice to date a woman with two already.
So many women take on additional and eventually step children without really appreciating how very difficult that can be for everyone concerned.

It’s definitely you that’s making things up here. The OP sees this person as part of her normal, everyday interactions. She is not stalking him or doing anything inappropriate. She is wondering whether to strike up conversation but is concerned incase he is attached. It’s fair for her to speak to him with no ill intention. The fact she fancies him is neither here nor there. She may also not be a confident person and need to work up to speaking to him. Also fine.

You can’t possibly know if attraction is mutual before you develop some kind of basic friendship. It’s is not predatory to speak to someone to establish this. You clearly don’t know what the word means. There needs to be vulnerability, manipulation, exploitation or similar for something to be predatory, and using that word for this situation is bonkers. Hence several people responding to you to say so.

Nothing I’ve said in any way at all relates to what you’ve written. Literally nothing.

I responded to the idea that OP should pretend to want a platonic friendship with him when she doesn’t. I made clear that OP herself hasn’t even said she is even considering doing it.

Everything else is just things you’ve imagined.

If this thread were by a man, writing about a woman, we'd have immediately zeroed in on how and why exactly a male OP knows which direction his female target heads after nursery, what vehicle they use, where they work, which route they take to get there, and what coffee-shops they do or don't pass on the way. It is worrying and dangerous behaviour, in any configuration.

Do you presume that all the mums who do all drop offs/pick ups and attend all events are single?

Nowhere has the OP said she's going to pretend to have a platonic friendship. She has specifically said she fancies him and wants you ask him on a date. Nothing wrong with that.

It is weird how invested she is in him!

Why she just can't talk to him is beyond me. It would take moments to find out if he's in a relationship.

"I was wondering if I could have your or your wife's number so we can arrange a play date..." Or similar

That’s what I said. I literally said that OP hasn’t said she’s even considering it. I said it again in the comment you’re replying to. Did you not think to read what was said before replying to it? 😂🙄

It’s not pretending though. You’re not forbidden from speaking to a person just because you fancy them ffs. Otherwise you’d have people randomly avoiding each other.

You can’t help if you’re attracted to a person, so long as you’re not doing something inappropriate like groping them or pressuring them into something they don’t want then this is a total none issue!

Nor does anyone (not anyone sane, anyway) approach a person they are attracted to and immediately go in telling that person they fancy them and would like to fuck them. Which is what you’re suggesting she has to do otherwise she’s “pretending to want a platonic friendship”. Batshit.