Anyone else not like doing anything?

[happy2bstill]

Would just like to preface this by saying I am definitely not depressed. Haven't got social anxiety. And have a very happy, stable marriage. And a little family.

Today we've been out on a family day, think trampolining, pedal boats, shopping, lunch at a restaurant, that sort of thing.
I strongly disliked 95% of it, for no reason.
Boats were the best thing. But everything else is just blah, overpriced and mind numbing.
This extends into all areas if my life, I have no hobbies, no interests, nothing that gets me excited, other than the boring, mundane of everyday life (being home, working, family life, Church etc) that's about all I enjoy. Sometimes going for a nice walk.

I can't stand any organised activities that I'm supposed to like, cannot for the life of me understand why people enjoy shopping, pubs, weddings, holidays, travel, cinema, hobbies, classes (like yoga) exercise, social events, parties, festivals, days out etc etc.
I don't even like books 😒

I'm not moaning, I'm just wondering if anyone else is like this? As I said, I am genuinely happy and enjoy my life, until we have to do something 'enjoyable'.

Maybe it's peri-menopause? I've always been this way inclined, but currently it has ramped up to a whole new level. I want to enjoy different experiences, I just don't. And have no desire to try and enjoy things.

'Mundane of everyday life (being home, working, family life, Church etc) that's about all I enjoy.'

You enjoy those things. Nothing wrong with that at all!

I'm trying to figure out if you find all those things you listed less fun than your daily life, or if you find them overstimulating and you are struggling to recognise that feeling?

I am very much a 'live your life how you want to' person, but I am a bit confused by the wide variety of things you don't enjoy... if you were being really, really honest with yourself, are you quite a negative person in general?

I will hold my hands up that I'm not religious, so maybe church fulfills you in ways we might not realise on this thread!

The OP has a full on job??

I don't think so.... but wait to be corrected.

Some responses on here have given me a good laugh!

I cannot see what's hard in enjoying a film though. What is difficult about that?

@Hatty65 I could have written your post. I am exactly the same as you.

One man's meat is another man's poison, and I suppose the bottom line is, if you are content to do very little but are very happy, that's all that matters, i.e. peace within yourself. However if you do little and would love to or cannot do more, well that's a problem alright.

There is a lot of pressure to conform to what others think (their) normal is.

If you are happy and content and don't need constant things to do or stimulation or a mad social life or volunteering or exploring or travelling - all the things we are told we absolutely need then it's great. I think a lot of people project onto others. I ignore all that and get great enjoyment from doing as little as possible according to the "orders and advice" from others, and read, research, plan trips, do the garden, sit in said garden, watch the birds and the trees from my garden, enjoy silence, daydream and so on. I get up early and honestly before I know it it's time for lunch, then a walk, then coffee, then again, before I know it, it's time to go to my lovely comfortable bed to watch some crap on Facebook videos or listen to a podcast and zzzzz.

I love when people call around to visit, primarily because it makes me clean the place thoroughly to give the impression that I am very tidy, neat and a great cook. It works lol.

At the risk of being labelled, I admit I am retired now. But I'm no penniless hermit, quite the opposite in fact, but on MY terms!

Yes. No hobbies makes you dull. Nothing to talk about for one thing.

Mundane of everyday life (being home, working, family life, Church etc) that's about all I enjoy.

OK, so just... do those things, then? It's not compulsory to do 'activities'.

What do you mean by 'family life' exactly? Presumably family life includes doing things. I can't imagine that your family all just sit there staring into space all the time.

I suspect most people actually find it quite dull listening to other people talk about their hobbies.

I've got hobbies. I don't chat about them with my friends, though, because I'd imagine it would be very boring for them. I might say, in passing, 'I was up late last night finishing a hobby related thing' or 'I spent most of my birthday money on [hobby]' but that's about the extent of my hobby related chat.

My friends and I mostly talk about our lives, families, stuff that's happening in the world, shared memories, that kind of thing. I met up with my two best friends recently; two of us have hobbies and the other one really doesn't, but the one without hobbies is not less interesting to talk to.

Nothing weird about that. If I didn't have kids I wouldn't do all the family funfairs, boat rides, cinema, and whatever else. I don't hate most of them but I think these things are widely acknowledged to be mainly for the kids.

‘Simple life” is what life used to be like before the modern busyness took over. It was completely normal to be content with daily routines without seeking stimulation from days out, fun activities etc. As long as you feel content I don’t see anything wrong with it. I personally never get bored and I’m quite happy spending days at home. I do love reading though.

All the replies are " I enjoy quiet pursuits like X" but OP does not enjoy anything. That is the point of the thread.

Yes I think some people are missing the point, this isn’t an extrovert v introvert thread and theres absolutely nothing wrong with a quiet and contemplative life. There are plenty of people who like reading or watching tv or gardening but not socialising or playing sports or going to museums. Thats all fine and good.

The OP (by her own admission) enjoys doing literally nothing, except, “my family”, which is meaningless in this context as presumably to enjoy your family you have to be doing something with them and not just be catatonically absorbing them.

It just suggests someone who is either depressed or who has been socialised to believe that she isn’t allowed to enjoy anything other than her family. Either way it doesn’t sound very happy or healthy.

And the day she describes herself as ‘95% violently disliking’ in her OP was a family day out, presumably with young children, as it involved pedalboats and trampolining. So even enjoying time with her family seems to be strictly conditional and only if they stay at home.

And the day she describes herself as ‘95% violently disliking’ in her OP was a family day out, presumably with young children, as it involved pedalboats and trampolining. So even enjoying time with her family seems to be strictly conditional and only if they stay at home.

Exactly. And while in fairness the OP seems to have taken this one for the team in good spirits it cant be great for the kids to be vaguely aware that their mum violently hates doing anything other than existing.

What sort of message does that send?

Im struggling to fathom what 'my family' means in context of enjoyment.

My teens spend all day occupying themselves, i'm divorced but live with an elderly parent.. and we do sit in quiet comfortable silence, but both enjoy watching the quizzes on TV, and Detective/murder mystery thriller programs, we both read, we do lego and jigsaws together, discuss the news and videos from social media (yes she does use SM at 72), we like going out to dinner as much as cooking together., we like gardening together... but OP doesn't like going out for meals even...

The housework gets done, the shopping gets done.. there in completes family life.

IF the OP said she enjoyed watching TV with her spouse, or films or something it wouldn't be so bad.. but until she clarifies what comes under 'family life' it's hard to gauge what, if anything, she does enjoy.

What is she doing at Church? Talking to people? Just attending services, singing some hymns and coming straight home? What is she doing in the evening once the work is done and the kids are in bed? Stare into space or just go to bed?

Work, Church, Domestic Drudgery being the be all and end all of your life is not healthy.

I am forever telling my husband there's nothing I'm particularly interested in. I do things like going to the gym, to the cinema, but it's more to fill time than anything else. But I am completely content. My dad was the same. I reckon it's a kind of achieving enlightenment state where you don't need external stuff to feel fulfilled.

Don’t you ever worry what impact it has on your husband and family if you say you aren’t interested in anything? Do you have children? Would you tell them you are not interested in anything?

If a member of my family said that to me I would worry about their mental health. I would honestly feel quite offended, too, and would feel like it was a rejection of our lives together if there was nothing enjoyable about life.

Its not really about needing “external stuff”… its about engaging with the world and other people in a way which is mutually beneficial and enriching.

I cant see the point of being alive if you take no enjoyment from the world or other people.

As a bit of an introvert, I used to be like this. But honestly there’s nothing like hearing live music. Most of the time it’s not terribly crowded either and usually a really nice friendly vibe in the venue.

Im pathetic I know, but my ex introduced me to this particular activity and one of the things I really miss being single. Hopefully at some point I can get enough courage to go alone.

I think if you’re happy then what does it matter what makes others happy.

I think you have misunderstood, or maybe I didn't make it clear.

I am perfectly happy. I just don't particularly want to do activities. I meant that I am happy pottering about at home, not going out on jaunts or taking up hobbies. I go to the cinema and gym because I think it's good for me. But I don't love it.

I used to be constantly chasing around after experiences but then I realised I was happier at home - with my husband and dogs.

How can people have no hobbies or interests in life, it does make you dull.
One life. Live it.
Who wants to talk about families all the time?

That's me too. I like going to a quiet Air BnB but will pretty much do the same things there. My menial job is noisy and hard on the feet and knees so I like a quiet life!

It’s not that you don’t like doing anything as much as you appear to like doing nothing. That’s fine I guess as long as you stay physically and mentally active, otherwise you’ll decline quite sharply in old age.

Not necessarily. My dad had no hobbies other than watching football on tv and reading the paper. He never had friends, just wasn't interested. Didn't do any exercise. Didn't go to the pub, day centres etc. He lived alone after caring for my mum who had dementia. He was completely independent right up to the end. He died aged 91.

Are you tired? I’m like this recently. I don’t want to do anything but lie down.

To me it sounds more as if you grew up around an adult who modelled that being completely disengaged from the world and friendless, just sitting zoned out with the newspaper and tv sport, for an entire lifetime was normal, so you grew up thinking it was normal too. Or you have a heritable MH condition.

Why are you so angry about it?