Anyone else not like doing anything?

[happy2bstill]

Would just like to preface this by saying I am definitely not depressed. Haven't got social anxiety. And have a very happy, stable marriage. And a little family.

Today we've been out on a family day, think trampolining, pedal boats, shopping, lunch at a restaurant, that sort of thing.
I strongly disliked 95% of it, for no reason.
Boats were the best thing. But everything else is just blah, overpriced and mind numbing.
This extends into all areas if my life, I have no hobbies, no interests, nothing that gets me excited, other than the boring, mundane of everyday life (being home, working, family life, Church etc) that's about all I enjoy. Sometimes going for a nice walk.

I can't stand any organised activities that I'm supposed to like, cannot for the life of me understand why people enjoy shopping, pubs, weddings, holidays, travel, cinema, hobbies, classes (like yoga) exercise, social events, parties, festivals, days out etc etc.
I don't even like books 😒

I'm not moaning, I'm just wondering if anyone else is like this? As I said, I am genuinely happy and enjoy my life, until we have to do something 'enjoyable'.

Maybe it's peri-menopause? I've always been this way inclined, but currently it has ramped up to a whole new level. I want to enjoy different experiences, I just don't. And have no desire to try and enjoy things.

I feel like this lot, not always, but frequently. My husband on the other hand enjoys everything. I wish I was different but I’d just be pretending. I don’t understand why I’m like this but I suspect I’m not neurotypical, have a poor imagination and get bored easily and this combination gives me a low threshold of enjoyment.

I think it sounds quite healthy to find enough joy in your day-to-day - working, family life and so on. And I totally understand not liking for example concerts or festivals.

I do find it a bit odd to not like any books or any films or any kind of travel or holiday though.

There could be a MH cause, but the exact same can apply to busy people.
Some people feel they need to stay busy because they can't bear their thoughts, or because they've been socialised to live that way.

I hear you! Not everyone is blessed with a ‘passion’ - my sister often says she wishes she had a ‘passion’ like me (mine is animal welfare - dogs, cats -canine/feline behaviour mainly, but also horses, donkeys and British nature, trees etc..). And sociology, politics/geopolitics (weird combo I guess).
I feel like I was born with an innate interest and concern/love for animals, but it was encouraged by my experiences as a child /upbringing, I guess. DSis more sporty, as are the rest of my family. I can’t stand sport or anything competitive. And anything that is ‘organised fun’ has always been ‘organised hell’ for me. I’m not completely anti social, but I can only do a couple of hours in the company of others, which I enjoy, but it has to be time limited, then I crave my own time.
I have also got less social as I got older - all fairly normal. You don’t ‘have to have a hobby’ or explain your lack of, to anyone. My BFF enjoys art, cannabis, sleeping, hiding under her duvet and reading and also wishing she could go to bed for a year. Yes, she has been depressed, but a change of meds has worked wonders for her. The cannabis has been a lifelong habit that she loves - I couldn’t think of anything less appealing, but I enjoy nice glass of wine. She’s allergic to alcohol. The only thing we have in common really is our shared family history, our love of (now being) anti social and the love of our homes/duvets!
Stop ruminating about it and one day you may well find yourself knee deep in a craft/business/keeping chickens/ helping a charity… if not, and you are happy, so be it. You don’t owe a ‘hobby or interest’ to anyone-just enjoy your lovely family.

Gosh so many rude people on here. What happened to live and let live?

Initially I was with you - I have a coworker who has an activity planned for every day of the week - because the thought of having hobbies/activities that I must attend sounds miserable, but I admit not enjoying anything is a bit much for me.

When you say you don’t like holidays, is this any holidays at all or just certain types?

Not everyone has to like books, but what do you like doing besides church and home? I don’t know, for yourself?

(I don’t think there’s anything “wrong” with it, I’m just curious)

We need to team up - I hate researching and booking holidays but love going on them!

Be my travel agent!

Not everyone is able to gain any enjoyment from reading, though. DP has ADHD and dyslexia, if anything reading seems to distress him.

The same knowledge can be gained from documentaries, movies, etc.

Definitely could be peri. I feel similar at the moment but I wasn't like that up until about 3 years ago. Peri has been creeping up on me and has now hit me like a ton of bricks. My GP confirmed this is a symptom.

The podcast Rage Against the Vagine mentions this lack of being arsed often!

You say you like family life but you strongly disliked a family day.

That doesn't make sense.

What is it you actually like? To sit in the house? Is there anything that you don't feel this sense of ennui about?

Someone up thread mentioned anhedonia. I think they could be onto something.

What if your kids don't enjoy such a restricted life? What will you do when your family life narrows even more to you and your husband?

This is exactly how I feel 🙈
My fave activity is a bath 🙈

I don’t like the thought of doing things but I always feel better having done them if that makes sense.

So as I’m getting ready for a day out I’ll already be thinking of being back home, sat on the sofa in my pjs but I know when I do I’ll be more content than if I’d sat about doing nothing all day.

I’m the same with holidays. I look forward to them but while we’re away I’m generally counting the days until we get back home but then weirdly I’ll loo back on the holiday with fond memories.

I do enjoy certain things in the moment, although I’m not a big fan of travelling or any type of organised fun. I do think that sometimes you need to push yourself to do things because the alternative of just staying home doing sod all is pretty unhealthy and depressing. But I get what you mean about not always enjoying certain activities or being around other people. It can be draining especially in the holidays when it feels almost compulsory to be busy all the time.

I've got to say, I think everyone is entitled to enjoy whatever they like, if it makes them happy. And why should they feel the need to justify their choices to anyone else? It's nobody's business but theirs.

OP, i have to admit your likes and life do sound rather small and limited, but i can see why you enjoy the things you do. I love my family, my children, my home. I've always been a home bird, but it's definitely not something I'm content doing all the time, although financially it's restricted now as I only work part time and havd young children, so it's mostly activities for them.

I'd love to travel more, see the world, do more different activities, and go out to the cinema, art galleries, shops and restaurants more etc. Once my children get older, hopefully I will get lots more time and freedom for me. I miss books too, as I lost my ability to see in my mind's eye and read properly when I had a head injury and post concussion syndrome a decade ago... it has been a hindrance for me to enjoy books as much as I once did.

Life is for living in whatever way you like l, OP. You do you, no matter what happens or others think.

OP, I think it's absolutely fine to not enjoy things that other people tell you everyone 'should' enjoy. Mr.Blobby had the Christmas No1 in 1993, which tells you everything you need to know about how much heed you need to pay to popular taste.
Many kids activities are stiflingly boring for the accompanying adult, so don't feel bad about not enjoying it all. Perhaps a more helpful approach would be sit alone somewhere peaceful and comfortable for a few minutes and allow yourself to imagine what you would do with a spare afternoon if you didn't have to please anyone else, and plan a time to do it, on your own, regardless of what it is, or what anyone else's opinion of it is.

Bit harsh, she sounds normal. Quiet, but happy. But possibly she may live what some people might describe as a "sheltered" life...but it doesn't make her "practically dead" as you so kindly say...!

I agree, definitely some projection going on in this thread. OP likes what she likes and there is nothing wrong with that.

I feel a bit like the OP. Family days out are all about the stimulation and gratification of the children. I don't want to go to the pier or on a fairground ride (or a pedal boat). I don't want to eat junk food, or shop. I like holidays, but DP and the children like very different types of holiday. So I feel like I'm always organising and facilitating for them. I'm happy when they are happy, but often they aren't - they are bickering or dissatisfied.

Holidays involve lots of packing and organising, then being asked constantly what we are doing next, and lots of complaining about food or having to do something that the other child wants but they won't. It's thankless and I'm glad we couldn't afford one this year.

During the school year it's an endless treadmill of activities, parties, and Odd Socks Days. I want them to be happy, well-socialised and well-educated. But it's not enjoyable.

I'm happiest when left alone or when I'm travelling for work.

As for books - I have no time or attention span left. I do enjoy good movies but rarely have the television to myself to be able to watch something good.

I've just accepted that life is like this for now, and that in a few years time I'll have time for adventures.

I know, how many people have already called the OP boring! If the OP is happy, what does it matter!

We’re all different OP, just do you, doesn’t matter what strangers on a website think of your lifestyle, I used to be crazy busy all the time with demanding job involving international travel every few weeks, mad social life and now have reduced to a lifestyle that’s much more simple and peaceful, I WFH, have handful of friends who are worth their weight in gold and great family relationships and that’s enough for me

I’m the opposite. I hate doing nothing. I feel like I am wasting my life. My weekends are packed full of activities (that I enjoy doing) and every day of annual leave is spent on travelling somewhere.

Maybe you’re just doing things that don’t interest you? You don’t have to like paddle boarding and going to the cinema just because other people do, just do what you enjoy.

Fine is that’s all you want out of life but it does sound very limiting. what do you talk to your DH about? Do you work?

i would say since the lockdowns and with some health issues (mainly the latter), I’m happy to be at home more but I still go out and enjoy myself. Plus I have a DH to entertain!!

I’m mid 50s so not young but this is what I enjoy the most;:

Seeing friends, usually 1-2-1 or small group.
concerts, been to a few this year.
Theatre/shows
Reading
Walking/light exercise
Museums
good telly
cinema
Sometimes I like parties but it depends on who’s there. I don’t drink any more and usually can’t eat the food so it comes down to the guests! I’m less inclined to small talk but I like dancing still.

I used to love eating out but as I have dietary restrictions now it is a pain & anxiety inducing. Same for holidays - but I go for DH’s sake.

To add - you sound a bit like a relative of mine in her 60s who pretty much does nothing - she watches TV and sometimes makes dinner. Hasn’t worked for 30 years since first DC, is obese now because she eats a lot and barely moves. She does go on holiday and out to eat but that’s it. She has two longstanding friends but I don’t think they meet much. It’s very hard to make conversation w her as she has nothing to talk about - we talk about our adult DC but that’s over quite quickly!

This is mumsnet where you will find an echo chamber of fellow introverts and unsociable people.

I don't think its natural for human beings to want to live a life almost entirely devoid of any kind of stimulation or interest

I'm inclined to agree with you.

I'm married to someone like the OP, and I find his lack of interest in most things very frustrating. DH has very few friends, doesn't really enjoy anything except walking and going to the pub and won't come with me to events and places of interest, so I have joined a few things and go on my own. Then he complains that he is bored because I go out (it only averages about once a week).
However, he does enjoy reading and we have similar tastes in TV programmes.

SIL is similar. She is a widow, says she doesn't like most people then complains that she is lonely.

@happy2bstill I must admit, like other posters, I find it odd that you don't even like reading. What do you do to stimulate your brain? How does your husband feel about your lack of interest in everything? What do you find to talk about other than "your little family". Do you have any friends?

If the OP is genuinely happy having ‘no hobbies, no interests, nothing that gets me excited’ and only enjoying ‘family life’ if it involves staying at home, she’s highly unlikely to have posted on an internet forum asking whether anyone else feels the same.

But in which case, yes, I agree with @RampantIvy that she is in the echo chamber of Mn where misanthropes calling themselves introverts cluster in considerable numbers.

OP can’t even be arsed to come back to this thread.